


The Life and Times of Jane Shepard: Heroine of Elysium

by Blossomingsun



Series: The Life and Times of Jane Shepard [2]
Category: Mass Effect
Genre: Action/Adventure, F/M, Humor, Romance, Turian/Human
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-10-13
Updated: 2012-11-06
Packaged: 2017-11-16 05:54:59
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death
Chapters: 15
Words: 52,060
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/536216
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Blossomingsun/pseuds/Blossomingsun
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>The Second Part of this series, Jane continues her journey through life, learning much in her early years in the Alliance and overcoming seemingly insurmountable odds. When things take a turn for the worst in her personal life, will Shepard still come out on top? Part Two of Five.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Hold Onto Me

Jane Shepard had never imagined that she would willingly accompany a band of Turian Mercenaries on a private shuttle to a dextro-based planet. The marine never imagined that she would gaze upon Taetrus, a Turian Colony planet in the Mactare system. It was not known for being Human-friendly.

The view of Taetrus from space was interesting, being a mostly brown planet with deep green covering parts of each continent. The planet itself seemed dark, but Shepard knew the colors were simply from the Marshlands and swamps that Taetrus was known for. As they descended into the atmosphere, Jane could note that there were cities that rose from the swamps, the buildings blending into the scenery, matching the earthtones of the landscape.

Yet, here she was. Standing at an apartment door that was much, much taller than herself. She was tense, wondering if she should alert the resident or simply walk in. The door's holo-pad was green, as if it expected her, welcoming her into the apartment.

What kept Jane from entering the apartment were her thoughts. What if he didn't like the way she looked? Glancing at her arms, there was much more muscle and definition in her body, and her curves had become much less pronounced. The months at basic had really conditioned her into a lean, mean, fighting machine. She wasn't sure how he would react to seeing her like this. She nervously ran her hands down the crisp Alliance blues she'd donned that morning.

And what about him? What if he's changed? Jane shook her head, knowing that no matter how different he looked, she would find him attractive.

She had no idea why she'd agreed to come in the first place. She should have simply stayed with her crew back on Elysium, getting to know them and building rapport. Instead, she'd been drawn to see him, wanting to be with him again. The glint of gunmetal plates was sharp in her mind, as well as a pair of ice blue eyes.

If she had simply left him alone, Jane knew that he could find someone better suited to him. Someone that would match him in more than looks, but someone he could truly build a life with. Instead, she had sent him word of her shore leave as soon as she was notified, and he'd immediately invited her into his home.

It was... comforting. Just knowing that he wanted her near. Or at least wanted to be with her, if only for the physical qualities of their relationship. That was fine with her, Jane concluded. The one drawback to the Alliance Military was definitely their strict policy on fraternization. Or lack thereof. She'd been wound-up tighter than a rutting Varren on a very, very short leash. It had been extremely difficult her first few weeks at basic, having to do Alliance combat training. At least the Turian Hierarchy had enough sense to let their marines blow off steam.

She was so used to sparring with Tiberus, that the simple act of sparring had her mind racing at what could happen after trainings. Each time another marine had bested her, which were few and far between, Shepard found herself hot for her opponent, and had to restrain herself from going any further.

That brought a whole new round of thoughts to the forefront of Jane's mind. Had he been with someone else while she was gone? She had been gone for six long months at basic. She knew that Turians were much more open about casual flings and relations when it was about mutual stress relief. Something about that thought made Jane's pulse quicken, not wanting to dwell on the fact that he may have been with women other than her. She wasn't possessive... _Okay, perhaps she was a little possessive._

Pushing the nagging thoughts out of her mind, Jane realized that she was gaining stares from residents from the surrounding apartments, partially due to the fact she was a human, but also due to her having stood outside the door for so long. A flush crept onto her cheeks as she wondered how long she'd stood outside his door.

"Are you going to continue standing here? Tiberus has been waiting for you for nearly two hours," Eliza commented coolly directly into Jane's ear. Tiberus had kept his promise, and when he had left Gagarin Station, he'd somehow gotten the AI's core off without alerting anyone.

That would definitely be a story worth listening to. She was also curious as to how the two had been getting along.

Eliza's voice prodded her into moving to enter the apartment, damning the consequences of entering a Turian's home without notice.

* * *

"This is a bad idea," Shepard said, stepping into the apartment. She held a solitary khaki duffel bag with her name embroidered on the side, along with a smaller messenger bag slung over her shoulder. She wasn't sure if she was talking about the trip, or walking into his home unannounced.

The apartment was new to Jane. The sparse amount of furniture was clean and dusted, the shelves home to books in a language she only partially understood, the smell of smoked pine beginning to mingle with her own earthy scent.

"I will give you two some privacy," Eliza's voice cooed softly throughout the room. Jane hadn't paid any attention to the synthetic voice, her eyes had fallen upon a figure that she'd been dying to see for the past six months.

Tiberus. Her eyes fell to his form, which was settled on the Turian-style couch. His bright blue irises were on her form, and he set down a datapad that he had been focused on moments before. He was bigger than Jane remembered, but so was she. He must have gone back into regular training as he was reassigned to a Cabal within the Hierarchy. He was only half dressed, wearing loose, grey pants that hung loosely over his hip spurs. His exposed chest was lit with stripes of white flames, tattoos that matched his colony's markings.

As he stood, Jane felt as though she were being assessed, a mental examination running through Tiberus as he took in her form. He languidly made his way over to her in a few steps, and stopped short of touching her.

"Do you like what you see?" She turned once, slowly rotating as she showed off her new uniform and figure.

Jane held her breath, watching his eyes as he searched her face. She was unsure of what he was searching for, but within moments, she noticed he must have found what he was looking for. Tiberus surged forward with a quick movement, to pull her against his form.

"I definitely like what I see," Tiberus growled softly, his mouth next to her ear as he took a deep breath, inhaling her earthy scent. His dual-chords producing a much more insinuating tone that sent a shiver down her spine. Jane had instinctively dropped her duffel bag and satchel to free her arms, snaking her newly freed limbs around his neck.

"Oh Really? Perhaps I can show you a few new things I've learned," Her words betraying the suggestive undertones in her voice, her fingertips finding the soft skin beneath his fringe. Her tongue tentatively slid along the underside of a relaxed mandible.

Tiberus purred, and gently pushed her against the wall. After being without physical contact of this kind for six long months, Jane's senses were overwhelmed. He nuzzled her cheek and then pressed his mouth insistently against hers, pulling her into a deep kiss. Jane's body clenched in desire, heat awakening deep in her core, not realizing until that moment how much she had missed him.

Departing from the kiss to take a breath, Tiberus purred. "I missed you," His words mirrored her thoughts as she smiled, and she drew him into another deep kiss.

Her mind soared in elation at the thought that he most likely had been waiting for her. He obviously hadn't been easing tension with another female, with how excited he was to see her. Sliding his hands down her ribcage and to her hips, Tiberus picked her up with ease and carried her into the bedroom.

Her bags were left by the door, forgotten.

* * *

After a few vigorous hours, a very relaxed Jane had draped herself over Tiberus' chest, her head settled against a broad chest plate, listening to the thrumming of his heart. She was lazily tracing the edges of a white flame that went down his chest, breathing softly.

"I missed you too," She said softly. "I wasn't sure you would want me to come after being gone for so long,"

Tiberus pulled her easily over his plates, dragging her face up to meet his, and he kissed her. "You have this… infuriating tendency… to push all other sensible thoughts out of my mind, only leaving room for you," Talons ran through her auburn hair, which had been cut to just below her ears.

Emerald eyes narrowed, "You don't mean to say…"

Blue eyes framed by gunmetal and white stared back at her, "There hasn't been anyone else," The confirmation made by him made her smile.

"So… a human female has ruined you for your entire species, Tiberus?"

"Well, it's not easy to keep my mind off of you, when every time I spar with someone… I think about hands with too-many fingers…" One of his hands entwined with hers, "Or skin that's too-soft…" His other hand, which had been in her hair, slid to the base of her neck, making her skin shiver. "And a mouth that's far too-tempting," At that, Tiberus had turned his head, kissing her and Jane felt her body flare up with heat again.

Shepard was out of breath from his ministrations, but was able to collect her thoughts. "So, exactly how did you cope without me here?" She murmured, her breath mingling with his.

"You may be angry with me," His words caused a confused look to appear on Jane's face, and he chuckled. "Allow me to show you," He pulled away from her for a moment, as he powered up his omni-tool and clicked a few buttons, which activated the Luma-gel monitor that had lain hidden on the wall opposite of his bed.

"Tiberus, if you're about to show me some crazy porn you downloaded from the extranet, trust me…" Jane had gone silent as the vid had come to life. It wasn't porn.

It was her.

To be more specific, it was both of them, making love in the Med-Bay on Jump Zero. The video was dimly lit, but was most certainly the vid that they had confiscated from Vyrnnus. Her eyes were glued to the monitor, watching her own body arch in pleasure from Tiberus' skillful talons.

Her cheeks reddened as she glanced over to Tiberus, who was not staring at the monitor, as she had, his eyes were locked on her form. He had been trying to figure out how she would react. He had been charged with the task of getting rid of the evidence, which obviously was still intact. However, she wasn't angry. Jane was touched.

She had sat up to watch the vid, but now she laid on her side, perpendicular to the bed, so that she was sprawled across the bed and over Tiberus' lap. Jane had been given an idea from seeing the vid, "Can you start it from the beginning?" She asked innocently.

Tiberus seemed surprised, his mandibles flaring wide, and emerald eyes crinkled as Jane gave a soft laugh. "Well… yes," He brought up his omni-tool again, and the vid restarted, the two of them simply talking in the Med-Bay. On the monitor, Jane was laying down, having just woken up, and Tiberus was leaning forward, talking quietly.

Jane motioned for Tiberus to come closer to her, "Do you remember what we were talking about?"

He had moved to lie down beside her, his feet and ankles were past the bed's width, even for how wide the bed was. She would have moved back to their original spot, but for the plan she had formulated, she needed to be able to see the vid, even if Tiberus was on top of her.

"I was worried," Tiberus pressed his face against her neck, breathing deeply, filling him with the scent of fresh earth.

They were silent for a few more minutes, Jane nestled against him, watching the vid as Tiberus left the Med-Bay, returned with food for Jane, and she began to eat. Jane remembered the talk they'd had about his family, and her eyes flicked to him. In the vid, she was able to see how tense he'd become when she mentioned his family, at the time she'd been in pain and not thinking clearly, but he'd been very uncomfortable with the talk.

"I'm sorry. I didn't realize at the time…" Her face neared his, and he shook his head.

"What's in the past is long gone. Besides, I know that you're prone to acting brashly without thinking," His tone was teasing for the first time that night and Jane wondered if he'd caught onto her idea. He was nearly quoting his own words from that evening in the Med-Bay. His warm palm slid over her left shoulder, her scars having faded slightly. His eyes hardened at the sight of her shoulder, and he squeezed it before nuzzling her.

"I felt so helpless when you were on the MS Deck," His voice was soft, the dual-tones rumbling through his chest.

"I would have been a lot worse off if you hadn't been so quick to come to my rescue," Jane murmured as she slid her eyes over to the monitor, knowing she had just said those same words on-screen.

Tiberus pulled his face away from her neck, and she smirked. Pulling him to her, she kissed him softly, and slowly moved her body over his. She covered his talons with her hands, guiding them down her back and over her hips to rest on the backs of her thighs. His brow plates rose slightly, and Jane tilted her head towards the screen. They were in the same position in the Med-Bay, only in a chair instead of on a bed.

"Thank you for saving me," Jane whispered against his mouth, before pressing her forehead against his. Tiberus' eyes were stuck to the screen, his mind finally realizing what she was doing. She kissed the edge of his mouth, and that moved him into action. Tiberus kissed her deeply, his tongue slipping into her mouth and she felt heat pool between her legs. She felt his plates begin to shift against her flat stomach, and Jane bit her lip in anticipation.

Suddenly, she was on her back, Tiberus having flipped her easily. "You shouldn't tempt me, Miss Shepard," His voice was much deeper, and Jane shivered when he said her name.

"Who said I was tempting you, Tiberus?" Her hands moved in familiarity to rub the soft skin underneath his fringe. This time around, Tiberus didn't purr. He growled.

"Jane…" His voice was husky and low. Jane could feel his arousal pressing against her thigh, and his hands pulled her hips closer to his form. Jane was thanking the spirits that they were already naked and there was nothing in their way at this point.

"Tiberus…" Jane slid her tongue of her mouth, and moved it along the underside of his mandible.

She let out a gasp as Tiberus entered her swiftly, filling her completely. He was gentle after the initial entry, mimicking as if she truly had just been shot. He pulled her close, nipping her neck and shoulders lightly. Pinpricks of electricity shot down Jane's spine as she moved her hips in tandem with Tiberus' thrusts. Her hands gripped his shoulders as she felt a knot begin to build itself within herself, while his talons held onto her waist, lifting her up to meet every movement. He lifted one of her legs, giving him a deeper angle, and she cried out, a hand shooting out to grab sheets, twisting them in her fist.

With each thrust, pleasure built quickly within Jane. She began to moan with every meeting of their hips, and knew she was getting close. Tiberus was saying her name over and over in that sexy growl of his, and Jane raked her nails down the plates of his shoulders. He increased his pace, plunging deeper and faster, the gentleness was gone, replaced with need.

The feelings were overwhelming, she felt as if she were on fire, her entire body aflame in heat and pleasure. Jane felt herself topple over the edge, her back arching in a blinding apex of bliss that left her breathless. She felt her body clench and tighten around Tiberus, and he followed after her, emptying himself within her. Tiberus nuzzled her as he laid her gently back onto the bed so they were in the correct person to fall asleep. Jane reluctantly loosened her hands from his shoulders, lying beside him with her side still melded to his.

She didn't want to let him go.

Tiberus leaned into her hair as it flowed over a pillow, breathing deeply. He rested his hand over Jane's hip, sliding it up and down her side as it followed her curves.

Tiberus spoke softly, "I'm so glad you accepted my invitation," Her heart seized in her chest at his words and how tender they were. Jane was in awe at how she had charmed this strong, formidable creature that showed her such compassion.

"I'm glad you invited me," Jane whispered back, her hand covering his talon, giving it a quick squeeze before settling into his form and beckoning sleep. On the Luma-gel screen, Tiberus was holding Jane as she drifted into dreams.

She didn't want to let him go.

* * *

They were still in bed. Shepard wasn't exactly sure when the last they had left the bed was. Neither did she care very much to find out. At the moment, they were talking about her first assignment.

"So you'll be assigned to the Fifth Fleet?" Tiberus inquired.

"Yes, Admiral Hackett's fleet. Typically once you are assigned to a certain fleet, it takes extreme circumstances to be transferred to another Armada. Specifically, I will be stationed on the SSV Einstein, where my friend is currently assigned," Jane explained, tracing her fingers lightly over the white flames that stood out on his gunmetal chest-plating.

"Oh really? Who might that be?" Tiberus seemed truly interested to know, but Jane could tell there was an underlying emotion in his tone of voice.

"His name is Karan Nasser, he was the Staff Lieutenant on the SSV Hyderabad when I met him, but I'm sure he's been promoted since then. He's incredibly nice," Jane could see Tiberus visibly bristled when she finished that last sentence. "What?"

"Nothing," Tiberus brushed it off, trying to act nonchalant about his reaction.

"Hey, I've got something to show you," Jane said jovially, trying to change the subject. She pulled away from him and grabbed her satchel, pulling out an OSD and setting it into the terminal at his desk. She slid back into bed within moments, the monitor on the wall flashing to life.

It was a video. Shepard instructed Eliza to move the video forwards or backwards at times, and Jane would explain to Tiberus was he was seeing. She had recorded parts of her bootcamp for him, whether it was her morning PT, her combative training, or just something that Jane had found interesting.

At one part, there was a part where she let the video play through without stopping it once. It was a recording of Jane having a friendly bout with another soon-to-be naval officer. They began to spar, and Tiberus watched, enraptured. Though Jane's opponent was much larger than her, the man obviously outweighing her, she was holding her own. The video showed her laughing and having a good time during the sparring match, and Tiberus realized that Jane wasn't even trying.

The match was all fun and games, until her opponent got mad, and yelled at her for acting foolishly. He had said she needed to be serious, and that's when Jane took him down. Using a series of moves, a blend of both Alliance and Turian combat moves, she took the larger man down easily.

When Jane looked away from the screen to focus her eyes on Tiberus, she saw that he had a look on his face she'd never seen before. Well, she'd seen it once before. When she had been offered a chance to join the Alliance. He was proud of her.

Bright blue irises stared back at her, and he pressed his forehead against hers. "I knew it," He still had that emotion from earlier, when she'd mentioned Nasser, hidden in the depths of his eyes. Jane finally knew what it was.

She pressed her forehead against his more, feeling the plate give a little under the pressure, and she whispered to him.

"No one could replace you, Tiberus. No one,"


	2. I'm the One that You Always Choose

_The first year in the apartment, Jane learned what it meant to share space with someone else._

Jane was fast asleep, her back resting against smooth plates, a dark hand stark against the curve of her hip. Her leg was resting on top of his, her foot settled on his calf spur. Her breathing was deep and steady, a pair of bright blue eyes watching over her. Fiery tresses feathered across the pillow, smelling of rain and earth. It was a wonder to Tiberus that a being with such energy and passion while awake could fall into such a deep stupor and peace.

In those quiet moments in the morning, Tiberus realized that he wanted her there every moment he could have her.

Slowly, the taloned hand slid down her hip, over her thigh and moved in between her legs. Jane's breathing hitched as his hands found the darkest part of her, her body instinctively moving closer to him. He caressed her lightly, and smiled as her hips lightly bucked against his hand, emerald eyes fluttering open. He moved his hand against her with more strength, and she stared at him, her eyes darkening.

Continuing his ministrations, Jane bit back a moan as he hit a particularly sensitive spot at the apex of her thighs. Noticing her reaction, Tiberus nipped her shoulder, and relentlessly worked her into a mess of moans using that particular spot. This was the first time he'd used only his hand, and he loved being able to watch her body move without being hindered by his own frame.

Wordless moans turned into her calling his name over and over, begging him for more. She arched her back in a final shudder, her shoulder blades pressing into his chest as pleasure wracked her body. Panting, Jane managed to turn and face Tiberus as she collected herself, his hand now resting on her lower abdomen.

"That was… The most perfect wakeup call I could have asked for," Her voice was husky from more than just sleep. She nuzzled him as her hand roved over his chest, "What did I do to deserve that?"

"You decided to be with me," Tiberus simply stated, flanging in a deeper set of sub-tonals than normal.

"I'll have to come over more often," Jane chuckled, her eyes glittering in the dim room. Her face was flushed from the 'Good Morning' that she'd received, a rosy tint to her face.

"You can stay here whenever you want," Tiberus offered quickly, a look on his face that Jane wasn't able to decipher. She tilted her head, unsure of the foreign expression he was giving her.

"Anytime?" Jane asked.

"Whenever you want, Jane. If you ever need a place to stay, this place will be waiting for you," Tiberus sounded cautious, as if he were inviting her to take on a squad of Batarians rather than stay at his apartment. The emotion behind his words, however... warmed Jane to her toes. He was sharing his home with her, letting her in completely.

"I don't want you to think it's just because of… stress relief that I invite you here," The dark Turian continued, and Jane leaned over to him and kissed him softly.

"I have never gotten that impression, Tiberus," He shivered slightly; he liked it when she said his name in soft and low tones. His hips flexed against her side, and she gave him a devilish smirk.

"However… It is a very good incentive to come here more often," Jane teased, straddling Tiberus in a swift motion.

The second set of sounds that morning came from a certain biotic Turian.

* * *

It was no longer awkward or strange to walk into the apartment she'd been sharing with Tiberus for over a year. Slowly, she had added shirts and pants to his closet, the space seemingly becoming available after staying there whenever he was at the apartment. That was how it went.

The pair had a routine down.

If they were both on shore-leave, Jane would stay with Tiberus. If Tiberus didn't have time off, Jane would go and stay with Amber and her father. The honey-eyed young woman still had two years before she could get into the Alliance Navy.

Moving silently through the apartment, Jane was attempting to sneak up on a certain Turian. However, after looking in every room, it seemed that he was gone. Finally, Eliza spoke up, startling Jane by breaking the silence.

"Tiberus is running late, but he will be home soon, Jane," Her smooth voice emanated from the walls.

"Why didn't you just tell me that when I came in, 'Liza?" Jane huffed.

"Currently, I've been studying the romantic aspects of your romance with Tiberus, I have found that the extranet seems to be lacking information on this particular subject," Eliza supplied.

"Why exactly are you studying us? Are you secretly a voyeur, Eliza?" Jane accused jokingly, dropping her satchel on the bed before heading back to the kitchen.

"Oh Jane, you've caught me, now my secret is out," The AI responded slickly. There were a few seconds of silence, and Jane had stopped walking.

"That was a joke?" Jane inquired, sounding a little  _too_  hopeful.

"Yes. Lately, Tiberus has been acting differently while at the apartment, at least differently from two years ago when he brought me here," Eliza explained flatly. "I was simply curious if it was due to your relationship, or from something else,"

Jane became curious, "What do you mean 'he's been acting different'? Is that a bad or good thing?"

"To provide a tangible example, Tiberus has replaced an entire cabinet in the kitchen with Levo-based foods. I am guessing these are specifically for you, seeing as they are non-perishable items with a long shelf life," As Eliza was speaking, Jane had made her way to the small kitchen, and had begun opening cabinets.

Stopping at the one closest to the fridge, she gazed over the boxes. There was boxes of cereal (how did he know her favorite kind?) accompanied by a container of evaporated milk, freeze-dried and vaccum-sealed fruits and veggies, along with a few boxed dinners that consisted of pasta with sauce that simply needed to be heated with water on the stove.

"Thank you for letting me know, Eliza,"

There was an overwhelming emotion that made Jane's throat constrict slightly, and she smiled at the full cabinet. Her stomach rumbled, and she was reminded that she hadn't eaten since that morning in the Mess hall on the Ship. First, she needed a shower.

The hot shower beat down on her back, relieving the tension of the past couple months from her shoulders and spine. She loved how the shower was so much taller and wider than the communal ones on the ship, Jane could have stayed in the warm moisture forever, but her stomach protested once again.

Dressing in her civilian clothes, a simple pair of navy shorts with a matching tank-top, Jane returned to the kitchen with renewed vigor. She pulled down a box of cereal along with the evaporated milk and made herself a rather large bowl of cereal. She left the box out and sat herself on the counter opposite the cabinets, her back facing the apartment's entrance.

Shepard began to devour the cereal as she waited for Tiberus to get home. He couldn't be much longer, could he? Jane hoped that he wouldn't be incredibly late. She had really missed him the past few months, mostly due to a large amount of frustration she'd built up.

A few minutes later, nearly done with her cereal, she heard the chirp of the holo-pad and the swish of the front door opening. She had smelled him as the door opened, a fresh breeze bringing in his smell of pine and musk. She smiled into her bowl as she felt a peace wash over her. Jane turned her head away from her cereal, watching Tiberus enter the apartment, clad in his Cabal-issue armor. The armor was light and form-fitting against him, a matte black, only slightly darker than his plates. He was armed with an assault rifle and a heavy pistol, which he promptly put away in the closet nearest to the entryway. There was already enough weaponry in the bedroom, hidden in drawers, under the bed, in the bathroom cabinets, the linen closet. They lived as if they were always in peril, but Jane's mind wasn't on the weaponry Tiberus had put away.

Tiberus himself, he looked…  _dangerous_   _and_   _delicious_.

He turned his attention to her as he walked through the living room, and coming to stand in front of her, leaning on the counter by putting a hand on either side of her. This close, she could feel heat rolling off him, and she set her bowl to the side of her.

"So, we're just going to eat right here in the kitchen now?" Tiberus teased.

"It certainly saves the clean-up time," Jane responded, her hands sliding up his arms and encircling his neck. He wasn't as comfy with his armor on, but she didn't mind that much.

"Oh yes, because we are such messy people," Tiberus nuzzled her, pushing his face into her neck. He had come to love how she smelled. Every time he was on a mission and it rained, he thought of bright green eyes and auburn tresses. The feeling of his breath on her neck made Jane shiver, and she pulled him closer.

"I missed you, more so than usual," Jane whispered, letting her body relax against his armor. She didn't care how uncomfortable it was against her, the hard angles poking into her chest and torso.

"We were on complete communication silence on our last mission or I would have contacted you as soon as I could," Tiberus spoke softly, his gaze meeting hers. He could sense that something was off with Jane. She was usually much more spirited when he arrived home, teasing him out of his armor and into bed. "How is the Einstein faring?" He knew he'd hit something when her lithe arms tensed.

"Boring," Jane replied.

She had fallen quiet, the silence stretching out in the small apartment. Tiberus was soundless, waiting for her to explain. After a few more moments, Jane took the hint and continued speaking.

"I've been mostly working with the engineers on the drive core and with minor flight calibrations. They only pull my ass planetside when they need a probe salvaged or something hacked into," Jane huffed, her hands clenching into fists. "They don't need me out there for biotic support, they have Karan… I'm better than him at biotics though, and I'm the second best at tech on the ship…"

"Then what's the problem? I know it's not your hand to hand," Tiberus prodded.

"I'm not the best shot," Jane admitted. "I mean, I'm not lousy by any means, but most of the people on the ship have a lot more field experience than me. I can take orders and take cover quickly, still… I use up more ammo and take down less people than the rest of the team. Yet, how am I going to get better if they don't give me something to shoot at?"

"Jane, perhaps you should consider training during shore leave?" Eliza provided.

Her brow furrowed as she fell into thought, staring at the cabinets with a faraway look, "That could work, but I have no idea where I could go to-"

"I know a place," Tiberus answered before Jane finished the thought. Bright green eyes cut to look at him, and she gave him a smile, warmth reaching her eyes.

"We could go there tonight, actually. It's a place on the outskirts of Vallum, I just need to take a shower before we go," Tiberus offered.

Jane nodded, and before she knew what was happened, Tiberus had picked her up, her legs hooked over his hip spurs. She made a surprised noise, speaking quickly, "I already had a shower!" This simply made Tiberus grin.

"Oh really? I think you're actually a very dirty girl," He purred, and Jane shivered in his arms. He knew how to get to her. Now that he had livened her up, the Turian picked up the bowl that Jane had left on the counter, and seeing that there was milk left, promptly splashed it onto the front of her shirt.

Jane's jaw had dropped, the milk soaking into the front of her shirt as the Turian holding grinned. She couldn't formulate an appropriate response until Tiberus had already made it into the bathroom and had begun peeling her clothes off. Jane forgot what she was going to say as talons caressed wet flesh.

"Are you ready?" Tiberus asked her.

They were out in the middle of a swamp, nothing but brown grass that came to their calves and water that was strangely iridescent. The water surrounded most of the grass, creating tiny islands where small, lizard-like creatures rested on rocks and mud. There were no insects of any kind to be seen, most likely due to the lizards.

Jane was holding a Kessler II, the pistol was more accurate than the Striker pistols made by Elanus, but didn't pack as much of a punch. That didn't matter for the exercise they were going over at the moment.

"Tiberus, there's nothing to target out here," Jane stated plainly, looking across the fields of lavender-tinted water and muddy grass. "What are we going to shoot?"

"This was my plan all along to get you outside alone, where no one could hear you scream, Jane," Tiberus deadpanned. Then he activated his Omni-tool and pressed a few keys. VI targets appeared at different distances on the marsh, all different silhouette shapes, a few of the figures crouching, others standing, some in an action stance.

"You don't seem to mind when I scream where people  _can_  hear us," Jane teased, chuckling as Tiberus rolled his eyes. He'd gotten that very human mannerism from her and she didn't mind it at all.

Jane took a thermal clip that Tiberus handed her from the gun case he'd brought. It was slightly different from the universal clips and she held it up. "Is this for dry rounds?"

"It's a specialized clip that will allow the VI's to detect your shots and give you an accuracy rating as well as a damage counter for each VI," The biotic explained. Jane nodded as she loaded the pistol with the special clip, and the VI's flickered for a moment while connecting to her pistol.

For the next several hours, until the suns of Taetrus are nearly all set, Tiberus instructs Shepard on shooting. He explains that in order to shoot properly, your arms and shoulders need to be in a comfortable position, and to aim, you move your feet. This, Shepard practices until it becomes second nature.

He then teaches her that pulling the trigger in rhythm with breathing is key to keeping the recoil low and increasing accuracy with each consecutive shot. Shepard begins to understand there is a sort of cadence when shooting, and she exploits it.

Finally, Tiberus explains how to fully focus her aim so that it always finds the sweet spot. It requires the shooter to gaze not on the target, but on the front sight of one's gun. When the front sight is settled on a target, the rear sight lined up with it, the sweet spot will reveal itself. From that point on, Shepard is able to find the sweet spot every time.

Tiberus gazes at her as she practices shooting, confidence filling her muscles and brightening her face as the damage counters increase exponentially with each shot, her accuracy rating skyrocketing. She has caught fire, threatening to burn out even the brightest stars. Tiberus knew this day would come.

When she has taken every target out, only needing a few seconds between 7 shots, Jane turned to Tiberus. Sweat covered her brow, but she was beaming at him.

* * *

_The second year in the apartment, Jane learned what it meant for someone to give you a part of their life._

Jane Shepard should have suspected that Amber Damara and her father would live on Terra Nova. It was the twin of Earth, and one of the oldest Human Space-settlements. It was entirely Alliance inhabited, and Jane saw only humans as she left the spaceport's docking area.

She was here instead of Taetrus because Tiberus was on an extended mission in the Attican Traverse. It seemed that was where his Cabal was nearly every mission nowadays. In light of being alone at the apartment, Shepard had called up Amber only a few minutes after making the decision, and the Damara household had heart-warmingly invited her to stay with them for the two weeks she would have off.

Reaching the lobby area of the bay, Jane stopped to look for the Damara family. It shouldn't be too hard; a person can't change  _too much_  in two years, can they?

Jane smirked as her bright green eyes fell upon a familiar form, albeit was slightly different from the last time she'd seen Amber Damara. The young woman had blossomed since Jane had last seen her. She was taller, a few inches shorter than Jane, with straight blond hair that was pulled into a high pony-tail. Her civilian clothing was reminiscent of the fashion that Jane had seen in vids from Earth, jeans and a t-shirt.

Amber hadn't noticed Jane yet, peering through the crowds of people coming out of the docking bays, and Jane took notice of the man that stood beside her. He had dark hair, but shared the same honey-colored irises as Amber, and Jane immediately knew it was her father.

Walking towards them, Amber spotted her first, and a smile broke out on her face.

"Shepard!"

The younger woman ran over to her, nearly toppling Jane as they hugged. Her father followed at a normal pace, catching up to the two girls as they began exchanging greetings.

"What are they feeding you on that ship, Shepard? You look like you could take down a Krogan with those guns you're toting," Amber commented as she ended the hug, and Jane laughed.

"Oh, only your run-of-the-mill naval gene modifications. They offered more to me, but I turned them down, I figured I have to keep the playing field somewhat fair," Jane responded with a chuckle.

It was true, what they said. Some things change over time, and some things always stay the same.

Amber had introduced Jane to her father, Ethan Damara. He was an engineer at the moment, repairing Alliance vessels that passed through. Shepard thought that he was not nearly as over-protective as Amber had made him out to be, but that could've changed since she came back from Brain Camp.

It seemed to Jane that Amber had hardly changed at all. Sure, the outward appearance had gone from a gangly girl to a beautiful young woman, but the quick-witted comic was still there. They had taken her to their modest home, Jane sharing a room with Amber during her stay. They had proceeded to talk non-stop every day that Jane was there, seemingly from dawn until dusk. Amber would talk about life on Terra Nova, her plans on joining the Alliance Navy and Jane would respond with stories of interesting missions or her friends on the SSV Einstein. Jane had never realized how much she had missed simply sitting and talking with Amber, but spending time with her revived their friendship.

One conversation that Jane was hoping wouldn't come up, inevitably did, due to Amber's great observation skills at how there were certain times of the day that Jane would check her Omni-tool for messages. There were certain messages that would arrive throughout the week, but only a few would Amber notice a smile flicker across Jane's lips.

"So, is anyone interesting sending you messages?" Amber asked innocently. Jane raised an eyebrow, her eyes narrowing slightly.

"I wouldn't say I live an uninteresting life, so yeah, plenty of  _interesting_  people send me _interesting_  messages," Jane's voice was cautious. She hadn't told Amber that Tiberus had invited her to stay at his place, though she did know that Jane had stayed there quite often on Shore-Leave.

"What I mean to ask is if there is a special someone in that  _interesting_  life of yours, Jane Shepard. Perhaps a special… Turian?" Amber's words made a blush creep over Jane's cheeks, and the red-haired woman cursed softly. She could stay cool on a mission, under suppressive fire, or when her life was on the line, but not towards a seventeen year old. Some Naval Officer she was.

"AH-Ha!" Amber pointed at Shepard's reddened cheeks triumphantly. "So… What haven't you told me, dear Jane?"

Jane ran a hand through her hair, muttering a sentence or two before looking away. Amber was the one to raise an eyebrow at this point, and leaned forward.

"I'm sorry, I couldn't hear you. Could you repeat that so those with less than ultrasonic hearing can understand?" Amber prodded.

"I've been staying with Tiberus every time I've had Shore-Leave. Sorry for you having to find out this way…" As the words fell from Jane's mouth, she watched Amber's eyes widen and a mischievous grin appear on her face.

"Oh Jane, you really are the teacher's pet," This comment only darkened the flush on Jane's face.

Shepard covered her face with her palms, muttering, "I regret everything I just said,"

Amber's laugh rang out across the Damara apartment.

"I just have one question for you, Shepard," Amber spoke and the red-haired woman lifted her face from her fingers. "What does  _it_  look like?"

Jane's mouth dropped open, but then an emotion wavered over her face and she responded smoothly. "It's fairly large, it's dark blue, and only comes out when  _it_  wants to play,"

The expression that Amber gave her was worth all the embarrassment in the galaxy to Jane.

* * *

As much as Jane had enjoyed spending her last shore-leave with Amber, she was glad to be seeing Tiberus again. It had been too long since she'd seen him. Apparently, he'd felt the same way.

However, much had happened since he'd seen her last. Before, there hadn't been marks upon her skin from close calls with Batarians. Shepard was leaner than before; lately, she'd been running for her life, whether to get to safe cover or to reach a checkpoint in the mission. Ever since he'd given her advice on how to shoot, Shepard had impressed the entire ship with her competency on the field. She was now on the regular rotation for the ground crew, which had thrilled her to no end.

However, it also made her aware that she no longer had the same womanly curves that she had before when working in engineering. She no longer had smooth, porcelain skin that was dotted with freckles. Shepard had been hardened into a warrior fit for the battlefield, complete with scars and a much leaner body. Most of the marks were on her left arm and right leg, the left arm from taking the brunt of her attackers, the right leg from being out of cover more than the rest of her.

She only hoped Tiberus didn't mind too much.

So far, they'd only spent quality time together in the bed, in the near-dark, which let Jane keep most of her confidence as they coaxed physical satisfaction from one another. Then, she would wait for him to take a shower before leaving the covers and putting on sweat pants and a t-shirt. It was the fourth day that Jane had been on Shore-Leave with him and they had yet to take a shower together. It was the fourth day that Tiberus realized something was different.

She should've known she couldn't keep him in the dark forever, so to speak.

He was lying with her after a particularly pleasurable moment; his normally bright eyes were dark and searching. Jane was matching his look, doing her best to languidly move the sheets up and over her form. She didn't want to arouse his suspicion.

His eyes flicked over to her hand, she stilled it instantly.  _Too late._

"You've been awfully quiet since you got back," Tiberus noted.  _Testing the waters_.

"I could say the same for you," Jane replied evenly. His hand slid over to cover hers, and pulled her to him. A light rain had begun to fall, barely noticeable in the apartment, barely more than a patter.

"I can tell something is wrong," He nuzzled her jawline, before pushing her onto her back and covering her form with his own. Jane sighed as he pulled the covers back down her body, revealing skin flushed from their recent endeavors.

Tiberus was always amazed at how beautiful he found Jane, and even in the dark, the curves of her body, the strength in her hands, the gaze that she gave him, and the sounds he could illicit from her were all equally intoxicating.

Her right hand had gone across her body, grabbing her left forearm absent-mindedly, but it had warranted attention from the Turian. He moved her hand, revealing a fresh scar that ran across her skin, freckles seemingly parting to allow the healing pink skin its own space. Jane had turned her gaze to stare at the wall.

"I can't help you if I don't know what's wrong, Jane,"

Emerald irises darted to glance at him before retreating back to stare at the wall. "Nothing is wrong… I'm just worried," She admitted.

"Worried? About what?" He had pulled down the covers further; the sheets were now settled at the foot of the bed, her body prickling at the cool air.

"About this?" A talon slid across the scar on her forearm, and she turned her eyes towards him.

"There are others," Jane whispered, her throat felt as if it were going to close up on her.

Tiberus was stunned. The woman that he had been sharing his bed with for two years, and his body for longer than that, was self-conscious. All over scars that she had gained from doing her duty, from surviving, from getting stronger, from becoming who she was meant to be.

"Oh, you ridiculous female," Tiberus breathed as his tongue slid across the scar on her forearm. Jane shivered, keeping silent as she watched him.

He found another that was longer on her side, as if a bullet had grazed her when she wasn't armored. He nuzzled her side and he gave this one a lazy lick, he smiled as her breath hitched. There were plenty more to find, and with each new scar, Tiberus was able to pull another delicious noise or shudder from Jane. There was one that twisted along her right calf, smaller ones littered her thigh, one deep one that followed the crest of her hip and he could never forget the one on her left shoulder, the wound he'd seen before it was a scar.

"Jane, you should know me better than this," The dark Turian admonished, finally settling his face back into the crook of her neck. "I find you sexy, every part of you. Even the parts of you that have seen more action than others," He caressed a scar that sat on her right hip. "Besides, these marks are befitting of a  _Lieutenant_ ," He had found out about her promotion.

Jane corrected him, "A  _JG_  Lieutenant," He chuckled in response.

"You shouldn't be ashamed of who you are, of how strong you've become. These are a part of you now, to let others know that you aren't to be messed with. These should be worn with honor, to show off your victories," He spoke as she pressed her forehead to his.

"Thank you," She whispered. Tiberus had stolen her strength for the moment with his words, and those two words were all that she could manage.

* * *

_The third year in the apartment, Jane learned what it meant to give a part of yourself to someone else._

She walked through the door, her simple messenger bag the only thing she brought on shore. Jane dropped her bag onto the couch, greeting Eliza with a simple 'Hello' and pulling her boots off and setting them by the door. Her bright green eyes rove over the place she thought of as home, taking in the sights. The décor was Spartan, only a few things indicating that it was even occupied. A few shelves held Human novels, made with  _paper_ , alongside them, replicas of ancient Turian weaponry.

In the past three years of her staying with Tiberus, the place had slowly become as much hers as it was his. Wordlessly, he had let her put clothes in his closet, she had added her soaps and perfumes to the bathroom, and the picture she had drawn was sitting on his desk. She smiled at how easily she'd invaded his home, how compliant and accepting he'd been. It was as if he had meant for her to live here all along, the thought making her heart flutter.

"Jane, Tiberus wanted me to inform you that he will…" The smooth synthetic voice drifted from the walls.

"-be later than expected, I figured that. Thanks, Eliza," Jane finished for the AI.

Making her way to the bathroom, she spoke with Eliza while she showered, relaying what she'd been doing the past few months.

She had been transferred to the SSV Agincourt after impressing Commanding Officer when the SSV Einstein had done a cooperative mission with the Frigate. Jane had been reluctant at first to accept the reassignment, but Karan had told her that there was much more advanced technology on the smaller ship, which made her cave. She'd miss working with Karan, but he knew that she'd have to leave sooner or later, and it would be less painful the sooner she did it. Karan would always miss her, but she wasn't flourishing under his watch, she always looked for him to lead, holding her back. Plus, now she would be a fresh Division Officer, able to prepare troops that didn't know her originally as 'Ensign Shepard'. That was another thing to look forward to, Petty Officers that didn't give her a hard time about her promotion.

The SSV Agincourt was known for patrolling the Skyllian Verge, making sure that those in the Terminus Systems didn't venture too close to a planet unless they were there for a legitimate reason. So far, Jane had seen three Batarian ships completely shredded by the cannons on the Agincourt. It had felt good to watch it, even if Shepard didn't want to admit that to herself. There was a small piece of Shepard that would never forgive the Batarians for what they did to Mindoir and her family.

It was thanks to them that she was living a life on ships.

Finishing her shower, she went to the kitchen and heated up one of her Ready-To-Eat meals that sat in the fridge. She smirked at the 'Family-Size' sticker on the box, polishing off the last bite, and throwing the box away, setting the dishes in the sink. Shepard always felt so domestic when she came home, and sometimes fantasized that she actually had a normal life, devoid of pirates and mercenaries.

Giving up on seeing Tiberus that evening, Jane slipped into the sheets of their bed, moving pillows around until she felt sufficiently comfortable enough to sleep. Looking over a Datapad, she slowly drifted into dreams.

There were footsteps leading up to the bedroom door, when Jane stirred. The door slid open with a quiet swoosh, a very Turian form standing in the doorway. Emerald irises fluttered open as a deep, flanging voice softly spoke in the dark, "Jane?"

Gaining awareness, Shepard slowly sat up in the bed, "Tiberus… I was worried some female had come along and finally convinced you Humans are too squishy," Her voice thick with sleep, Jane managed a teasing tone. He didn't laugh at her joke, which worried her, and she swung her legs over the side of the bed to stand.

Within moments, Tiberus had strode over to where she was now sitting on the bed, and knelt at her feet, his hands settling onto her naked thighs. He surprised her by burying his face into the soft fabric of her shirt, a small gasp escaping her. Jane slid her hands around his neck and lightly stroked the soft skin near his fringe, while she leaned her head on the top of his head, her cheek resting against slick horns.

"Bad day?" She whispered. This was a rare display of vulnerability from Tiberus, meaning that something he'd seen had bothered him greatly. Usually he could brush it off, but whatever he'd seen must've really gotten under his skin.

Tiberus inhaled deeply, breathing in her scent. It seemed to calm him enough, because he began speaking. "There were… Batarian slavers that my Cabal caught in transit to Iratiana. Their ship was full of young females, some Asari, some Turian, but mostly… Human," His hands had gripped her legs on the last word, pulling his face from her shirt to look at her.

"If you hadn't been rescued…" Tiberus trailed off, his bright blue eyes staring at her. Turians couldn't cry, but Jane could tell that he had seen her face in each one of those girls. What could've been. What might've been.

"I can take care of myself now. There's no reason to worry," Jane whispered back, kissing a white flame that licked over a cheek-plate.

He took another deep breath, his talons reaching to hold her hands. "I will kill for you," His gaze drifted to the floor, whispering "Do you know that? I almost did when Vyrnnus had found out about us. If I had known that you wouldn't have objected…"

Jane's chest had tightened, "Tiberus…" His name was barely a breath on her lips.

"I don't know what I would do without you, Jane," His words made a mark upon her that she had never felt before. Something different, something deep.

"I'm yours," She whispered.

His talons had squeezed her hands when she spoke; "Promise me," The tone in him was desperate, wanting.

"I am yours, as you are mine," Jane stated fiercely, she was sure of it. "No one will separate us,"

Tiberus kissed her deeply, releasing her hands and running his hands down her sides. He pulled Jane to him and made her his.

* * *

_The fourth year in the apartment, Jane truly understood what it meant for two people to share a life with each other._

He always looked the most peaceful when he slept. It was a rare occasion when Jane was able to watch him sleep. Most of the time, she would open her eyes to his face watching hers, and they would talk, their forms entangled with one another, before getting up. The rest of the time, he would wake her with the heat from his hands and body, awakening desire as well as her mind. She wasn't sure what her favorite way to wake up was.

Jane would have never thought that her life would turn out like this, fighting evil in the galaxy on a beautiful ship, running and gunning on exotic planets, and then coming home to a handsome Turian that helped her forget everything horrible.

_Coming home to a Turian._

Jane never expected to find peace in the arms of a Turian, but she had. He chased the nightmares away. She would never tell him, but many nights on the ship, Jane would wake up in a cold sweat. It was usually from something that she'd seen during the week that had particularly bothered her, but occasionally it was a reliving of Mindoir. When Tiberus held her as she slept, her sleep was dreamless and tranquil. He had saved her from so much.

Jane smiled at Tiberus' sleeping figure, his mandibles were moving in tandem with his breathing, widening and contracting just slightly. The sight of him so relaxed made her heart flutter and her chest stiffen. She wouldn't know what she would do if this particular Turian wasn't in her life.

She loved him.

Jane had admitted it to herself after that night nearly a year ago, where Tiberus had opened himself up to her. He had shown vunerability, but not only shown it, allowed Jane to help calm him fears. She had been able to give back so much of what he had gifted her. That was the moment when she realized that she could spend the rest of her life with this man. She could lie in this bed forever, just watching him sleep.

Jane had yet to tell him that, of course.

Every time, every moment where Jane had the chance to tell him, she simply wanted to revel in the fact that they were able to be together. Shore-leave was the only time they were able to spend time together, and lately it had been harder to come by.

This upcoming mission that Tiberus was going on would place both of them on shore-leave at different times. That meant it would be longer than usual for them to see one another.

Perhaps, now was the time.

Reaching out, gentle fingertips slid along his jaw and mandible, her small attempt to wake him. She was half hoping that he wouldn't wake, and she'd simply whisper it to him. That still counted, right?

There was no such luck for Jane, as she saw a pair of blue eyes open and blink a few times before Tiberus fully woke. When he did, his arm reached out and pulled her closer to him, their bodies meshing together, angles and curves in perfect harmony.

"Good Morning," His voice was rougher right after his woke up; it always sent a shiver down her spine.

"Morning," Her voice came out more serious than she wanted it. She wanted to sound playful, care-free. Instead it sounded thoughtful and heavy with emotion.

"Something on your mind?" His talons moved up and down her sides as he spoke, reassuring.

What was the best way to approach this? She could explain her tragic past and how it was hard for her to talk about emotions. She could talk about their long history together and how much he meant to her, the way he helped her, the way he cared. She could make a joke to break the ice before baring her soul and how he made her feel like the luckiest girl in the galaxy. Or she could dive right in.

Jane dove right in.

"I love you," She said the words as simply as if she were asking for the time.

Tiberus had gone still, assessing the words. He wasn't pushing away, which was a good sign. She took the opportunity to sit up, but she was surprised when he did the same. He reached for one of her hands, squeezing it gently. She moved closer to him, her legs moving to either side of him, each one resting on his legs.

"I love you," His voice was soft, and Jane felt her heart clench. He pressed his forehead against hers, and he whispered to her.

"You possess me, mind, body and spirit. Just before I fall asleep at night, the first thought when I wake, is of you," His words were filling a hole that Jane had long forgotten was empty.

Tiberus had moved slightly, brushing a mandible against her shoulder, and Jane was reminded of something from long ago that Amber had said. What had she said? Something about Turian mates… and… markings… Then it all came back to her.

Jane ghosts her hands up his chest and collar ridge, and they rest on the soft skin beneath his fringe. She waits for him to nip her shoulder again, and presses her body against his, arching her back. She moves her shoulder against his mouth, surprising him. He had gone still again.

His teeth were grazing her skin, but Jane knew that he would only need a little strength to finish the job. Her fingertips massaged the sensitive skin hidden by his horns, and he growls. His resolve is disappearing quickly, and Jane brushes her lips against his fringe. She is insistently pressing her shoulder against his mouth, but only to the point that she can feel pinpricks on her skin. Tiberus would have to take the next step, if he wanted it.

"I love you," She whispered, hoping that he understood her intentions.

Seconds later, she felt it. His powerful jaw closed over her shoulder and Jane felt a slight pain, but mostly pressure. With a sigh, her body shuddered as she relaxed. Tiberus took this as motivation, and moved one of his hands to her lower back, moving her closer. As their bodies touched, if Jane had any doubts that Tiberus wanted this, those doubts were banished. While he couldn't tell her that he wanted this, she could certainly  _feel_  that this is what he wanted.

Brushing her mouth against the soft skin of his neck, Jane's mind gave her a wicked idea. What they were doing was meant to be reciprocated, and although her teeth weren't sharp, human jaws had considerable strength. Besides, his skin was just as soft at the neck as hers was.

As Tiberus began to pull his mouth away from her shoulder, Jane reacted instinctively.

She wasn't sure what she had expected Turian blood to taste like, but Jane found out it was much sweeter than she thought. It was a pleasant surprise.


	3. If I Should Die Before You Wake

She had woken up hours before he would even begin to stir. She had needed time to herself. They would be apart for many months; their shore leaves not matching up for nearly 10 months. She wanted to leave him with something to remember her by. Her eyes were clear in the dimly lit room, a blue hologram at her side setting her face in a blue haze.

The pencil she grasped in her hand was warm from her rolling it between her palms. Tucking a lock of auburn behind her ear, she continued drawing flowing lines across the large pad of white in her lap. The crisp white of the paper was stark against the graphite lines. One line would be organic, flowing freely across the page. The next one would be all angles and clearly defined upon the page.

She had taken up drawing when she'd gone into basic training. It was something that would help her relieve stress that wasn't so physical. The sure strokes of her hands and deft fingers allowed her to unwind while she lay in the crews' quarters at night. She even loved the sound of the pencil smoothly moving over the light texture of the paper, and no one had complained while she drew in her bed. Perhaps they took solace in her ritualistic drawing as much as she did.

Sometimes she drew an object that had caught her eye from that day, like a weapon, or a box of supplies that she'd stumbled upon. Other days it was a crewmember, or even a self-portrait. This particular sketch was becoming more detailed by the minute, and her concentration on the pad before her didn't break but for a few seconds at a time, only to glimpse at the figure in the bed or at the hologram that was hovering above the desk.

A few hours later, fingertips dark from carbon smudges, the drawing was complete. It was a turian with white flames for markings, curled up with a human female that had too many scars for her liking. She smiled as her hand brushed a particularly large scar on her forearm, the picture depicting it perfectly. She looked over to the hologram, a picture of Jane Shepard and Tiberus Oraka sleeping peacefully in bed together.

Eliza kept recordings of the house cameras for a week at a time. Jane had gone through each night, trying to find the perfect moment that she wanted to capture for Tiberus to keep. This had been the scene to catch her eye, both of them facing one another, even sharing a pillow in a quiet moment. His right hand was hidden under the pillow just as her left hand was. They were a near perfect mirror to one another. His other talon was settled on her side in the drawing, splayed over her ribcage, her much smaller counterpart grasping at his waist. A long, smooth leg resting on top of a plated thigh interrupted the reflection of their upper bodies. The covered were artfully placed, necessary parts being concealed, others exposed to the apartment air. They were twin souls kept separate by diverse bodies.

Jane smiled at the sight of her artwork, and left it on his desk, writing a simple phrase below the picture. Her script was just as beautiful as the picture itself, cursive and scrolling. She stood, wiping her hands on the civvies she was wearing for the day. She'd change into her blues once she'd arrived back on the SSV Agincourt. Her eyes settled on the soundless form in the bed that she'd abandoned a few hours ago to complete her gift to Tiberus. Leaning over the Turian, she grazed her soft forehead against his.

"I'll see you soon," Jane whispered. Her heart sank each time she had to leave his side; it was getting harder to leave with each passing shore leave.

An hour later, a soft alarm woke up the Turian. He wasn't surprised to find the other half of the bed empty, although he was a bit disappointed that she hadn't woken him up to say goodbye. He stretched, plates shifting and giving slight popping noises as they decompressed from being in the same position overnight. After standing, he noticed the picture that Jane had left him.

The picture was beautifully detailed, the pair of them sleeping tranquilly. He slid a talon over the form of Jane on the paper, before glancing at the bottom of the page.

' _Something to keep close to your Heart, when you're far away from Home.'_

* * *

After months of fighting increasing numbers of invading Pirates near the Skyillian Verge, the SSV Agincourt was granted two weeks of shore leave. This time, however, Junior Grade Lieutenant Jane Shepard was spending her time off with her crew. Tiberus was still on a mission near Asari space and Amber had just joined the Alliance, hadn't even finished her basic training yet. This would be a first for Shepard.

"I'm surprised at you, Jay-Gee. Finally slumming it with us lowly marines during shore-leave," Second-Lieutenant Alexander Vendi commented to Shepard.

"What can I say, Vendi? Your charm finally worked," Shepard smirked as she stood in the mess hall dressed in casuals.

"I know I'm too handsome for my own damn good, but aren't you going to miss being at home, cooking meals and washing dishes, or whatever it is that you are so fond of doing during shore-leave?" Vendi's dark eyes crinkled with humor as he crossed his arms, leaning against the wall behind him. The man did cut quite a figure with his short black hair and tan skin, but he simply wasn't Shepard's type.

She was more into Jabberwocky type of person,  _'the jaws that bite, the claws that catch'_  kind of guy. Although she did adore her ground crew, and had yet to spend any shore-leave with them since joining the Agincourt, Shepard would trade anything to spend time with Tiberus at the moment.

There must have been an indicator on her face, because Vendi continued, "Or is it  _someone_ that you're fond of doing? Because I am more than happy to serve  _under_  you, Jay-Gee, in  _any_ capacity," This illicited a small chuckle from Shepard with her head shaking back and forth.

"I'll have to remember that if I ever feel a little too lonely, Vendi," She shot back after her laugh ended.

Shepard knew that Vendi was all talk and no action, which was why his words didn't bother her. He was typically always this flirtatious with the women on the ship; it was his way of dispersing tension in a room, or aiding him in ending his nervousness or de-stressing after a mission. The second-lieutenant knew what boundaries he could push, and never went so far as to touch or speak to Shepard inappropriately. That was one of the reasons why she allowed his continued assault against her morals, because the 'Italian Stallion' knew exactly where he stood with her.

A man who didn't know his place however, was Warrant Officer Jordan Morior.

He had stepped into the mess hall and headed straight for Shepard. The man had only been transferred to the ship three months ago, but had immediately taken a liking to Shepard. He had been on active duty no more than a year, and it showed. Before the SSV Agincourt, Morior probably hadn't seen action. He was as bright and shiny as a new babe. He was pale-skinned, with paler hair and even paler eyes. He also followed Shepard around like she had the sun shining out of her ass.

She wasn't sure if it was how she was always determined for people to feel comfortable around her, or if there was just something that Jordan personally liked about her. There was only one small problem with him feeling comfortable with his superior officer.

He was rather annoying.

Shepard didn't find him annoying on the ground missions that she led with him at her back; he was an excellent engineer, capable of hacking any machinery and having it obey him. It was the moments on the ship, where he would always seek her out for one-on-one conversations when she wanted alone time, or when he would 'accidentally' brush his arm against hers while eating in the mess hall. Shepard had told him that she was involved with someone, but it hadn't deterred him in the least.

It had taken a special kind of restraint to keep Shepard from telling him that her lover was a very large, very dangerous Turian that wouldn't hesitate to eat him alive if Tiberus felt Shepard was being bothered. However, Shepard had taken the younger engineer under her wing, watching out for him on missions and mentoring him when she had the patience. Apparently, that was enough for Jordan to think that he had a chance with his superior, Alliance regs and Shepard's feelings be damned.

"Hey Lieutenant," Morior spoke coolly. "Looking forward to finally hanging out with you other than in the line of fire. You usually take off at the first sight of shore-leave," Shepard acknowledged him with a tilt of her head, smiling.

"I decided to spend some time getting to know my crew better," Shepard lied. If there was any chance to see her loved ones, she'd be on the first ship out. These people were her coworkers, and she respected them greatly, but there wasn't much more than that. Spending time with them would change that a little, Shepard hoped.

"Well, you'll get to know everyone's drunk side at least. The moment we're docked, we're going to the hotel then reconvening for drinks after that," As Morior spoke; he lit up his Omni-tool, sending her the info. "I sent you everything you need to know, where we're meeting and what time,"

"I already told everyone you're coming, Jay-Gee. So that pretty face of yours has to show," Vendi butted in, slinging his arm around Shepard's shoulders. She rolled her eyes, but she was grinning.

"I guess I have no choice in the matter. You two do realize this is insubordination," Shepard teased.

Even the joke of insubordination made the Warrant Officer flush, but Vendi just chuckled. Overhead, the intercom buzzed and alerted the crew they would be at Elysium in half an hour.

* * *

She was standing there in her bedroom, as if nothing from the past six years of her life had ever happened. Her covers, floral and elegant, were perfectly made. There were shelves full of old books, scenting the room with that indescribable paper smell. The window had sun streaming through, warming the spot where she stood. Shepard could even smell her mother's cooking in the kitchen.

It made her heart clench, as she neared the door. Something wasn't quite right here. There were no soft whispers between her parents outside her door, no brother laughing while happily playing in the living room; there were no chirpings of summer birds outside her window.

She turned the knob, walking into the dim hallway. Taking a few steps, her face turned to look into the living room, and the dream became a nightmare.

The smells from the kitchen became rotten, the face of her lifeless father staring up at her from the carpet. Eyes that had once held love, wisdom, compassion, and understanding were no more than a pair of dead baubles set in stone. This time, there were no Batarians to kill. Jane backed away from her father's body, running back into her room, seemingly crashing out her window and taking flight into the air.

When she landed on the ground, the clear sky was dotted with enemy ships. They were angular and rough, obviously Batarian. They were landing. The Batarians would either deal death or take life for the entirety of Mindoir.

All, except for her. Sole Survivor. At least, a survivor with a mind intact.

The ships were colliding into the ground faster than her mind could comprehend. Each time a ship crushed crops beneath its metallic wings, Shepard felt the weight of loss deepen. The Batarians were spilling out of their ships as soon as they landed. More and more ships appeared in Mindoir's atmosphere, blotting out the sun and suddenly the nightmare descended into darkness.

* * *

Emerald eyes shot open to reveal a plain hotel room.

She was covered in sweat, her auburn hair matted to her face, sticking to her neck. Her breathing was ragged, as if she actually had taken on the entire fleet in her nightmare. Shepard sat up slowly; her tank top clung to her damp body, shorts clinging to her curves possessively. Putting her head in her hands, she concentrated on slowing her breaths and calming herself. It was the first time in a long time that she'd had a nightmare about Mindoir.

Tiberus effectively chased her nightmares away whenever she was at home, but anywhere else was fair game to her mind. Many times when she was first put on the Einstein, and again when she'd first arrived on the Agincourt, there were night terrors. She'd had to deal with them silently, keeping her breathing from waking anyone up. Shepard hated having people worry over her because she couldn't keep her own thoughts from torturing herself.

Sliding out of the bed, she crossed the room to enter the small bathroom. Deft hands turned to release cold water from the sink's faucet, hands bringing cold water to splash across her heated face. She repeated the gesture multiple times until she felt slightly cooler. Shepard sighed, shaking her head as she made her way back to the bed. In the middle of the room, however, she heard a large boom from outside.

Brows knitted together, she made her way to the large window, the boom had sounded far off, but it could have been muffled by the window. Shepard narrowed a pair of bright green eyes, scanning the darkness of the night sky. Her heart stopped as another boom went off in the distance. It was softer, and they were definitely muffled from the hotel's excellent structure, but it was undeniably the sound of a gun. A large gun.

That's when she saw the first one.

It was a ship, with the singular oval overshadowed by a pair of mirrored L-shapes forming the Batarian government's symbol. The ship itself was a frigate-class, and in better shape than most of the pirate ships that the Agincourt had come across in the past. Most pirate ships were over-worked and under-maintained, easily overpowered in any circumstance. This must have been planned.

That's when she saw the next one. And another after that one, along with others following the first ship to the docking bays. Those that followed weren't all Batarian, but Shepard could tell that none of them were on her side.

Shepard would never forget the sight. It was so reminiscent of her nightmare; she thought that she was still, in fact, dreaming. For a few moments, the red-haired woman stood there, blackened ships entering the atmosphere. A large shot rang out through the night, and that spurred Shepard into action.

_Mindoir wouldn't happen again. Not another person would end up like her family. There would be no dead mothers, fathers, brothers to mourn this time. Shepard had promised them that. She would see her promise to the end, if necessary. The Batarians would mourn this day more than she. Shepard was ready._

She pulled off her shorts and tank top in seconds, locating her Omni-tool, exo-suit and armor, and getting fully dressed only a minute after the noise had hastened Shepard to act. She pulled up her communications public address for her crew, sending them priority messages that would hopefully alert most of them, if any had been able to sleep through those first few shots. It was likely that most of them had, considering the state that the crew had been in only hours earlier. There had been copious amounts of drinking from nearly everyone, Shepard had escorted nearly half the crew back to their hotel herself.

Adrenaline had fully woken her up, and she formulated a plan. If it was possible, she needed to get her crew to the docking bay station before the Batarians could even get through those structures and into the main part of the city. Every Docking station on a planet was created with the same idea in mind, to create a choke-point against invasion. That would be their best bet of survival, to hold that point until reinforcements would arrive, whenever they would come.

Collapsing her heavy pistol, shotgun and assault rifle to her back, Shepard broke out into the hallway. Pulling up her Omni-tool, she easily overrode every door on the hall, nearly all of them belonging to Alliance and began making rounds to each room to wake her crew-mates up.

They didn't have a lot of time before the Pirates came knocking at Elysium's door, by her calculations.

 


	4. She Burns Like the Sun

There were six total crewmembers of the SSV Agincourt that had arrived on Elysium only a day ago. Six Alliance officers against who knew how many pirates or mercenaries. And Shepard was the highest ranking officer there. It was hard to believe, but she was the commanding officer in the middle of an emergency.

Shepard didn't think it could get much worse.

 _First time I decide to go on vacation and this happens, it figures._  Jane thought to herself as she entered each room, quickly and efficiently waking each personnel. Officer Morior had woken up after the second loud boom had thundered, although he was the only one. There was also Ensign Hadley, a young dark-skinned woman who was a Command Deck Technician aboard the Agincourt, she had been easy to wake and alert. Second Lieutenant Mason was the third to wake, a barrel-chested man that hadn't served much longer than Morior, but seemed to have been involved in fighting long before joining the Alliance. Warrant Officer Madison was an older woman who was in charge of requisitions on the Agincourt, Shepard had been surprised when she'd come along for the shore leave on Elysium. However, the older woman was quick to rise and silent to ready when Morior had woken her.

Second-Lieutenant Vendi had been the most difficult to wake, whether from the copious amounts of alcohol, or the fact that he snored worse than an Elcor. Shepard had nearly straddled him, shaking him awake before his eyes cracked open and his rough voice growled, "Shepard… I was wondering when you'd finally find your way to my bed,"

Shepard punched him in the arm hard enough to leave a perfect outline of her fist in the shape of a bruise.

Surprisingly, Vendi only grunted as the pain raised his senses. Shepard's voice cut through his senses, "Vendi, there are pirates attacking the planet, we've got to get out there and keep up a resistance before they overwhelm us," Wordlessly, he suited up.

The bright-eyed biotic had been formulating a plan the entirety of the time she'd been waking up the troop, which had only been a matter of minutes.

When one arrives in Elysium, they must dock at one of two large docking bays. One is for industrial and commerce, the other is strictly for residents and visitors of Elysium. Both docking bays connect and go through the same security checkpoint. That checkpoint provided an excellent choking point for the invading forces. No more than six people wide, the checkpoint was completely enclosed, only opening once you stepped into Elysium's tourist trap.

Shepard motioned for the team to come over to a window, a few ships still discharging in the atmosphere of Elysium. She had to be quick with the pep-talk if they were planning on surviving.

"We don't know much about this situation, but I can tell that it's bad. There are pirates entering in through the docking bay and we need to reach the security checkpoint before they can get any farther. If we don't stop them from entering Elysium completely, they will overrun us. Our objective is simple, get to D-SEC and we will be able to hold them off as long as we have thermal clips," Shepard spoke, praying her voice wouldn't waver.

All she could picture in her mind were her crewmates lying beside her father, their eyes peering at her, lifeless. Jade irises narrowed as she breathed deeply, pushing those thoughts away. Today, it would be the Batarians peering up at her, lifeless.

Shepard took another breath, "Let's move out. If we see anyone on the way there that needs assistance, we will help them as much as we can, but the main objective is to hold off the forces attempting to enter Elysium. We keep complete radio silence until I say, everyone understand?"

She was thankful her voice didn't shake as much as she felt her body vibrating with fear.  _Is this what fully commanding a team feels like? Did every leader feel the weight of lives in their hands? Did her Captain on the Agincourt feel this way every time they went groundside?_

Each member nodded once, and they split up the thermal clips between each crewmember before heading down the elevator and out the lobby.

* * *

The hotel where the team stayed wasn't too far from Docking-Security, after leaving the lobby by way of large glass doors, the sounds amplified. The soft booms from earlier were now truly thundering, Shepard's teeth rattled in her skull. Still, the team of six moved swiftly through the streets of the city.

Elysium was heavily populated, and not just with humans. It had been originally a human-colonized world, but it was also in an excellent spot for trading and commercial ships to stop by. This had allowed Elysium to flourish and all races began to flock there. The large spires that reached into the sky were inspired as much by Asari or Salarian culture as they were by Human culture.

As they made their way through the streets, one tall building in particular caught Shepard's eye. It was tall and window-less, straight lines shooting into the air, its needle-like antennae held a slow-blinking red light at the peak. A communications tower.  _Perfect._

They had yet to meet resistance, so Shepard was optimistic that the Pirates weren't even out of the Docking Bay area yet. She must have reacted more quickly than she had thought. Over their helmet-to-helmet communications, Shepard spoke quickly, "We should leave a team at this Comm. tower to send out a distress signal to the Alliance. That would be our only chance of surviving this thing for sure," They cut a path through side-streets to head closer to the tower.

Without resistance, it took no time at all to reach the communications tower, and Shepard hacked the doors with ease. Looking over her team, a few thoughts ran through her head, running pros and cons of who should go and who should stay with her. It only took a few moments before she spoke again.

"Morior, Mason and Hadley, you three will enter the comm tower and send a distress signal to any nearby Alliance or Hierarchy fleets. Do not leave this tower under any circumstances, you are to hold this position until rescue has arrived and we can be safely extracted," Hadley and Mason simply nodded, but Morior had stepped forward.

"Lieutenant, I should go with you. Ensign Hadley can easily handle this," He had spoken slowly, but Shepard didn't have time for arguments. There was no time to waste.

"We don't have time for this, Morior. If there the tower needs any repairs done, you are the most capable of doing them out of anyone on this team. We need you up there, letting the Alliance know what is going on here," She used a voice that she hoped sounded commanding and authoritative. It wasn't so hard at this point.

Morior had gone quiet after her admonishment. He was red in the face, but quiet. The Communications team gave up half their supply to the ground team that was continuing on to the security checkpoint. Hopefully those going into the tower wouldn't have to use their supplies at all, but there was no guarantee that Shepard, Vendi and Madison could keep the pirates at bay.

"Now go," Shepard's Omni-tool activated the door to the tower, and the three filed in. The Warrant Officer still looked angry, but at least he wasn't being insubordinate during a crisis.

After the doors closed, Shepard set a lock on the door, encrypting it herself. With the encryption, only someone that was a JG Lieutenant- similar rank or above- could open the door. Vendi raised an eyebrow at her, "Is that really necessary, Jay-Gee?"

She began walked away, pulling out her shotgun, "It's for their own good, even if they decide to try and leave the tower. We really need them here, to keep the distress signal up for as long as possible. Besides, they're safer here than anywhere else,"

The older Requisitions Officer seemed to agree, acutely nodding her head before they headed towards an open gardens area. This was the edge of the tourist area that welcomed visitors to Elysium. They were mere minutes away from D-SEC checkpoint.

They had yet to meet any resistance.

Perhaps they would make it after all.

* * *

Another plus for Elysium was that the streets were so narrow, shuttles and corvettes were too big to maneuver. Every transport that moved throughout the city was simple rapid transport skycars, which only held four people at the most. Shepard's team had already passed the closest rapid transport hub closest to D-SEC, which meant that the only thing left between them and the checkpoint was a large, square garden and some tourist shops.

They had reached the rim of the gardens when they heard the gunfire. Someone else was aiding in resistance. Shepard looked over to her two subordinates and motioned quickly, using hand signals to communicate that she wanted to flank the enemy.

Vendi veered off to the right of the garden, around a line of well-trimmed trees, while Madison took the left. Shepard went right up the middle, her armor rustling bushes that were nearly to her waist. Growing up on a farm, where wild flowers bloomed where they pleased, Jane had always despised well-manicured gardens. To her, it was trying to tame a natural beauty that should be left alone, not forced to grow where one pleased.

Those thoughts brought up her parents and little brother, and her eyes narrowed as she finally broke out of the shrubbery and near the fray. They would pay.

The firefight was much closer, but not in visual. She could tell that there were at least three humans fighting the invaders, but she wasn't absolutely sure how many there were involved in the fight. Shotgun ready, Shepard slowly made her way past a dense grove of flowering trees, and the fight revealed itself.

There were three men, all in hard suits, that were fighting against six Batarians. Two of the three humans seemed injured, but the third uninjured man held her attention. He was in a hard suit that was colored black and navy, but he could disappear for moments at a time. Within seconds, six Batarians had become four Batarians, for while he was cloaked; the man closed in on part of the group, and shot one of the pirates, stabbing the other one with an Omni-tool blade that seemingly appeared out of thin air.

"Move in," Shepard radioed, and immediately the other four were gunned down by her ground team. The trio was extremely surprised by their soundless entrance, and the two injured humans seemed relieved. The cloaking-capable third seemed to not care about the extra aide that had arrived.

Shepard started walking closer to the three men, and introduced herself, "JG Lieutenant Shepard of the SSV Agincourt, Alliance Fifth Fleet. Is anyone in need of immediate medical attention?"

The uninjured man spoke, "These two idiots need to find a medic, they weren't paying attention when the pirate bastards snuck up on us," His eyes were a steely grey, sharp and piercing as he watched Shepard.

She raised an eyebrow at his lack of introduction, but ignored it and looked over to Vendi and Madison, "Can you two take them back to the rapid transport and get them to the nearest hospital? We can manage it until you return,"

Vendi looked as if he was going to say something, but closed his mouth as quickly as he began to open it. He gave her a look that simply questioned,  _Are you sure we can leave you alone?_ Madison simply nodded. Shepard's companions each took an injured man and slung arms over shoulders, heading back to the skycars.

As the four fell out of sight, Shepard turned back to her nameless counterpart, "Do you have a name? Or should I just refer to you as 'cloaky' or something?" Her voice was rasher than she should have let it be. Something about this guy rubbed her the wrong way. Whether it was his flippant attitude or the fact that he let his crew become injured so easily, Shepard wasn't sure.

"First Lieutenant John Riley of the SSV Trafalgar, Alliance Third Fleet. I don't see how that's pertinent to this situation," He seemed bored when giving the formal introduction, running a gloved hand through brown-black hair. "If we don't hurry our asses up, there will be more where these come from and I don't anticipate them liking the fact that we killed their friends," His sentence was punctuated by a loud boom off in the distance.

Spurred by the sound, Shepard nodded, and they collected thermal clips and a few grenades from the dead pirates. Every single one was a Batarian. Shepard had to admit that somewhere deep inside her, there was a part of her that was glad. Once they were done salvaging what they could, they made their way out of the Elysium Gardens and came to the row of shops that led into D-SEC.

There were a few Batarians coming into the open area right before the gardens, and the pair flew into action.

Shepard threw up a barrier and gave Riley cover fire as he disappeared under a kinetic tactical cloak, reappearing behind the three Batarians. He shot the first one executioner-style, pistol held to the back of the pirate's head. John took out a second one with his Omni-tool blade, shoving it through the Batarian's stomach with ease. The third was so surprised; Shepard was able to take him down with a well-place bullet.

Checking the surrounding vicinity, Shepard gave the All-clear to Riley and they continued into the D-SEC checkpoint. It was a tunnel of a room, long and skinny, with only enough room for six humans across to fit. It wouldn't have been a problem for her ground team to defend; however, Shepard was stuck with one jackass. Improvisation was needed.

They were given cover by the D-SEC's security desk, which could have easily hidden four crewmembers, but the room was too wide for them to defend, the enemy could easily overwhelm them with enough force.

"Any ideas on how to make this a better defensive position?" Shepard asked quickly. She wasn't sure when more would arrive.

"I could blow up part of the tunnel; collapse a wall along with part of the ceiling. That would force the enemies to pack in even tighter," Riley spoke, moving his hand in the air, pointing out where he would cause the wall to fall in on itself.

Shepard seemed incredulous, "You can do that?"

"No, I just pulled that out of my ass to give you something to think about…" Riley snorted, "Of course I can do it, Sunshine. I'm an infiltrator. It's what I do best: next to showing up goody-two-shoes Lieutenants that think they're in charge,"

Shepard rolled her eyes, "Why am I not surprised that you are inherently destructive? I'll keep watch as you do what's necessary," Bright green eyes stayed vigilant on the opposite end of the tunnel as Riley moved quickly, planting charges at certain intervals on the wall, placing small mines between the charges.

"I'm not inherently destructive, just inherently kick ass. I'm sorry that you don't share my enthusiasm for taking down assholes," John said as he worked.

Without turning towards him, Shepard responded coolly, "Yes, because endangering your crew-mates is so bad ass. I'm sure they see it that way,"

"Hey, it's not my fault that they weren't paying attention and got their asses shot. I told them to keep quiet and stay alert, but they let those Batarian bastards get the best of them," John moved away from the wall as he spoke quietly, and walked past her, stopping at the large metallic desk.

"And what did you do, cloak yourself?" Shepard had little to no respect for her counterpart at this point.

"Of course, two injured is better than three dead. I was able to at least take the bastards down before they could do more damage. You may want to take cover by the way," His voice never wavered in tone, so Shepard only realized what he said as she heard the soft chirping of the charges.

Emerald eyes widened as she ran to where Riley was standing, and slid over the desk's top. They ducked at the same time as the blast went off, shaking the room. Shepard glared at him as he chuckled, and slowly lifted her head to survey the damage.

Just as the insufferable infiltrator promised, the tunnel was now half-collapsed, only the right side was serviceable. It would only fit two humans at the most, and they would be slow-going over the rubble. She was sure that the enemy would have taken notice of that, and she pulled out her heavy pistol. Surprisingly, Riley pulled a sniper rifle from his back, getting into a comfortable kneeling position.

Now it was just a matter of seeing how long they could last.


	5. Try to Tear Me Down

It had been an incredibly long time that they had lasted without Shepard punching Riley as hard as she possibly could.

"I've always enjoyed the smell of dead Batarian in the morning," John remarked, and Shepard shook her head. The man and his crudeness disgusted her. The only thing that made him tolerable was his amazing  _-she reluctantly admitted-_  sniping skills paired with his explosive expertise.

"I'm so happy that you're enjoying this," Heavily-laden sarcasm colored her words.

It was the second day of nonstop fighting. They had been using Stim-packs that had been in the supplies the Communications team had given Shepard before leaving them in the tower. Thankfully Stim-packs provided not only awakening agents, but calories and nutrients to keep sleep-deprived bodies from needing to eat. Shepard wasn't sure if they were supposed to be using so many of the drugs at once, but it was necessary for the time being. Each Stim-pack only lasted six hours, and there were just over a dozen left. Soon they'd have to take shifts in sleeping if they didn't want to exhaust themselves.

There wasn't a shortage in thermal clips, however.

Not every single pirate or mercenary that walked into the security checkpoint was Batarian. There was a surprising amount of them that were human, and even a few Krogan. Whenever something other than a Batarian would show up- that was when it would become interesting. Normal tactics wouldn't work against a Krogan, needing a heavier amount of firepower to take the enemy down. Shepard would send out an overload on the enemy's shields or emit a shockwave to aid the shots that rang out from the pair's guns.

Once a group of enemies was out, Shepard would use her biotics to pulls the corpses nearer to them, attempting to pile them on top of one another. This made the collapsed tunnel-like room of the checkpoint smaller than it already was. It also provided some decent cover as John went in cloaked, and picked up their leftover thermal clips and weaponry.

Their tactics worked like a charm.

If they had more than two people manning the defensive position, there wouldn't have been a problem on keeping the pirates at bay as long as necessary. However, Vendi and Madison hadn't returned yet, and Shepard had become worried. Thoughts flew through her mind as her pistol's shots rang out in a perfect rhythm, finding targets and taking them down.  _What if the Pirates had found another way onto Elysium? What if they had simply flown shuttles over the city, crashing them into buildings? What if they weren't able to find rations and had simply passed out from exhaustion?_

She ejected a heat sink, popping another one into its place with a second nature. Shepard didn't even have to think about killing them anymore. It simply happened.

Daring a glance over to her unsavory counterpart, she noted that he had gone quiet as well, his face not revealing any dark thoughts as his rifle repeated the same motion over and over. He had been slowly becoming quieter over the past few hours. He had gone from a total of twenty smart-ass remarks an hour down to merely two or three an hour, and they were always the same.

He'd smirk and mutter, "Bastards didn't expect anyone with balls to be planetside," or the tried-and-true, "Don't you think these fucking idiots would quit after seeing the last twenty of their friends get their heads blown off?" She'd heard that comment from him so many times; she would mouth the words as they left his mouth.

Shepard had taken a liking to his remarks. In a sick and twisted way, those small comments allowed her small comic-relief between shots, keeping her head on straight. Riley's voice helped her stress stay at a manageable level, knowing that at least with him alive, there wasn't any way the pirates would get through.

Shepard swore to herself, if she lived through this crisis, never seeing John Riley again would be too soon. He was a great soldier, and skilled at what he did, but he didn't care for much other than himself. He didn't join the Alliance to better the galaxy; he joined the Alliance to better himself. He used the military for his own personal gain, whether it was training or connections. He was the epitome of everything that Shepard stood against.

So far, they were lasting against the enemy.

* * *

When a Stim-pack first flows through one's veins, there are a few moments of euphoria. The drugs make you believe that you've had a wonderful night's sleep, you've eaten a large, delicious breakfast, and you are ready to take on the day. The entire time the Stim is working through your system, synapses fire rapidly, senses are heightened and reflexes excel.

When those precious six hours are over…

Shepard's brain was screaming as if it were dipped in fire, her body's muscles sagging as she searched for another Stim-pack. Her fingers clenched, she felt as though her veins and arteries were throbbing out of her body, spilling her lifesource onto the ground. The pain was so intense, that it was hard for the fiery biotic to simply breathe.

She nearly sobbed in relief when she'd found one in the pack. There were only five stim-packs left. They would need to start taking turns sleeping soon. At least there had been a lull action for John to leave her side for a moment and break into one of the nearby tourist shops and locate bottles of water. Stim-packs only went so far, and soldiers who used them still needed to keep hydrated for the drugs to work at their optimal level.

Jabbing the large syringe in her thigh, Shepard let out a long sigh as she felt the sensation take over and her body readied itself to fight once more. It had literally been less than a minute since the last Stim-pack had worn off, and she had felt the effects of crashing immediately. To say that withdrawal from using a Stim was an  _unpleasant feeling_  was the understatement of the year.

It was the third day of non-stop fighting. There were fewer waves of enemies, but each one was varied; now Batarians, Humans and Krogan were grouping together to rush the pair. They had discussed the idea of completely collapsing the tunnel, but being the only access to larger ships that had medical support, and with the ships in the atmosphere still sending out fire-strikes at random areas on Elysium, it was best to simply defend this position. That way, when help arrived, they could easily enter and not have to shuttle to an area that was clear, limiting passengers to ten civilians at a time.

John had argued that it was best to collapse the tunnel and simply wait for reinforcements, but that had been the easy way out. He had only been thinking of himself, and the danger he was in by defending the D-SEC area, rather than cutting off the path of their enemies altogether.

Shepard had dismissed his idea, telling him that it was better to defend the position and wait for reinforcements there, because they didn't know if the Pirates and Mercenaries had a secondary plan if they weren't able to penetrate the security checkpoint.

It had caused a point of contention between the pair.

"How are you doing over there, Riley?" Shepard spoke coolly. He hadn't been making any small comments for over an hour.

"Oh, I'm just peachy over here, Sunshine. It's all butterflies and rainbows from where my ass is sitting. In fact, I was thinking about inviting the Krogan over here for a cup of tea," His voice was rough from going without sleep for so long, his raven hair was stuck to his head from sweat, his eyes were a pair of unmoving boulders, trained on the targets ahead of them. Shepard was sure that she couldn't look much better, and she was definitely sure that the awful smell of dead bodies was half coming from the pair crouched behind the desk; the piles of bodies couldn't be blamed for all of it.

"I think we need to start taking sleeping shifts," Shepard spoke hurriedly. She had learned quick enough that responding to any sarcastic remarks only asked for more trouble than wanted, "The Stim-packs will last longer, and we can do short shifts so that each of us is only alone for four hours at a time,"

"Alright, after these wear off then you should sleep first. Give that amp of yours a rest, I've noticed how tense you get after throwing up a barrier or sending out a shockwave," This was the first normal sentence that John had said to her since they had introduced themselves, and it had shocked her for a moment.

"I'm not tense, just really, really alert," Shepard responded as she sent a well-place bullet into the forehead of a human merc.  _Oh God, was he rubbing off on her now?_  That response had been… snarky.

Shepard was not snarky.

Reinforcements needed to get there  _soon_.

* * *

At first, it had been difficult for Shepard to fall asleep. She was used to a bed instead of a floor, and the low hum of a drive-core instead of a slow procession of rifle shots. However, her body had been so exhausted from the overuse of the Stim-packs and the constant alertness of fighting; she had slipped into darkness within minutes of lying down.

The noises were always in the back of her mind; each shot that rang out by her side was a reminder that John was still alive and well. There were quiet moments, but Shepard could still hear her companion gathering thermal clips or other available rations from the fresh kills he'd made just moments before.

Shepard was surprised that she trusted Riley as much as she did, letting him take the first shift of guard while she slept. If she hadn't been so exhausted, she may not have agreed to sleep shifts in the first place. John Riley was a man of action, doing things first and asking questions later. She knew men like him on the SSV Agincourt, and knew that most of them were selfish and impulsive. They didn't work in the field much, her captain knowing that they'd put themselves before the team, or they would take reckless action in order to complete a job. Riley didn't seem much different from those men.

However, Riley was entirely capable of working by himself. That was what had allowed Shepard to place her trust in this reckless man. He was efficient. He may have not been able to work properly within a team, but John Riley was the epitome of a lone wolf.

Shepard was able to sleep for a solid six hours before she felt something was off.

John had been entirely too quiet after the last round of fire. It had been as if her sleep was centered on a circadian rhythm of shots from John's rifle, and Shepard had gone too long without hearing it again. She roused from sleep slowly, her eyes fluttering. She didn't hear his labored breathing, which meant one of two things. He was either not nearby or John Riley had been shot down and Shepard hadn't realized it.

The latter thought pulled her from sleep much more quickly than the former, and a burst of adrenaline aided her in rising from the concrete. Her body ached, but nothing like before, when her abused muscles had protested with every movement she'd made. Sleep had taken the edge off, and Shepard could function once more.

Soundless, Shepard rose from behind the large desk they'd been using as makeshift cover, and looked down the tunnel. John wasn't near where she woke up, but staring down the long hallway of Docking Security, Shepard still couldn't see where Riley had gone. It was night time planet-side, so it wasn't the easiest to spot the infiltrator in a dim hallway.

Suddenly, there he was.

Riley had put up his tactical cloak while slowly making his way down to where they had blown out part of the hallway. He had taken the cloak down once he'd made it to the collapsed rubble, using that as cover.  _What was he doing?_

As Shepard watched him from behind the desk, Riley moved along the half of the hallway that wasn't collapsed, touching the floor at certain intervals before moving on. Her bright green eyes widened as she realized what was about to happen.  _He's going to blow the rest of D-SEC to hell…_

She had to stop him.

He had been waiting for the perfect moment to attempt this, after he'd gotten enough grenades to blow the tunnel and when he'd have enough time to set the charges. He wasn't thinking about anyone else however, he was thinking of himself. Riley knew that if the rest of the tunnel was blown out, the pirates wouldn't have another way into Elysium, and they'd be forced to set down shuttles in remote area locations, and he would be safe. However, once the Alliance came, there wouldn't be an efficient way to send aide to the planet, the shuttles would be shot down out of the sky before they could even find a suitable place to land. Riley wasn't looking at the big picture, he was living and acting in the now.

Shepard wasn't sure how much time she had before Riley was done, so she had to work quickly. She could get halfway to him before alerting him of her presence, but she wasn't sure how she would keep him from setting the charges.

Thankfully, Shepard was provided the perfect distraction as she made her way down the hall.

A troop of four mercs had made their way into the tunnel, and had taken notice of John as he was laying a charge. John Riley was a smart man, never without a plan. He had kept an assault rifle with him while laying the charges, just in case. Short bursts of fire surprised the mercs as they dove for cover, and Shepard knew this was her time to strike. They began firing back at him, and there was nowhere for John to hide. He was out of options.

Powering up her biotics, Shepard charged straight for John.

Her shields recharged as she ended up behind her companion, and threw up a barrier to envelope both of them. She grabbed him, pulling him against her as she sent out a shockwave towards the troops. She felt something hot and wet against her hand as she began helping him back to their cover. Shepard prayed that he would be okay.

"Idiot, what were you thinking?" She hissed at him. Her biotic amp was running hot from exhibiting so much power just after waking.

"Well, Sunshine, I  _had_  planned on saving our asses," His voice strained, and then began to return fire at the mercs, taking two Batarians out. He was still an amazing shot, even injured. At least they wouldn't go down without a fight.

"Yes, and look at how well that turned out," She was so angry with him, but once they were back behind the desk, she noticed his wounds. He'd been shot twice, one shot had hit his left thigh, and the other had been just below his left collarbone. He was extremely lucky that they were just flesh wounds. Shepard didn't know how much Medi-gel they had, and if it was enough to staunch the bloodflow.

After taking out the remaining mercs, Shepard knew there would be some quiet time until the next set would come around the corner to try and take them out. Probably sooner rather than later, the enemy knowing that they had wounded one of the pair.

"Stupid idiot," Shepard muttered to herself, pushing dirty red strands out of her face as she began to check him out. He was running on empty, the injuries obviously paining him as he sat against the wall where they had nestled the desk. Her hands reached out towards him, and she began the motion to pull his shirt off.

"Oh Sunshine, I didn't know you had the hots for me. Trying to savor our last moments together?" John's voice was rough, and the humor that he was attempting was overridden with pain.

"You wish, Riley. I'm going to apply Medi-gel to your wounds, besides, no one is dying today," Her eyes were hard as emeralds, her voice set in determination.

He took his shirt off without protest, but Jane didn't want to leave him completely exposed, so after applying the Medi-gel to the wound, she had him put it back on. Surprisingly, there weren't any sexual overtures this time. She simply tore the hole that led to the injury on his leg, making it slightly bigger and applied more Medi-gel there. John was no longer breathing heavy; Shepard took that as a good sign that everything would be okay. However, he had probably run through his Stim-pack much more quickly because of the wounds.

His grey eyes fluttered, and she could tell how exhausted he was. Shepard couldn't stay angry with him, knowing that he had simply wanted to increase their chances of survival, no matter how selfish it was.

"Sleep, I'll take this shift," Shepard whispered, helping him get into a comfortable position beside her to sleep.

* * *

If Shepard had thought that her biotic amp was hot before, it was searing now.

It was the fourth day.

Her muscles were screaming much more loudly than she remembered, and she was out of Stims. She had used the last one that morning and it had worn off hours ago. She was relying more on her biotics now than her shooting. Thankfully, there had been very little activity, only two or three pirates coming down the hallway at a time. However, they were coming more steadily now, as if they knew that giving her less time to recover was the easier way to wear her down.

It was working.

John had yet to wake back up from when he passed out, but Shepard didn't blame him. He had lost a decent amount of blood, and he'd been up for six hours fighting alone. Well, she'd been up for 18 hours by herself, running solely on Stims and adrenaline. The adrenaline had run out long ago.

At times, during the firefights, she would imagine her family standing behind her. In a moment where she thought she wouldn't make the shot, or her amp would burn out, she'd feel the press of her father's hand on her shoulder. When Shepard thought that there would be a large push and everything would be over, she'd hear the encouraging words of her mother.

Shepard knew it was only hallucinations that made her feel and hear those things, the effects of sleep-deprivation coupled with malnourishment and exhaustion. Still, she liked to believe that they were right there with her, their spirits lending her strength.

 _Spirits_. They made her think of Tiberus for the first time since she'd awoken from her Mindoir nightmare in the hotel. He had never been a very pious Turian, but she knew that he did pray to the spirits for protection over each mission that they went on. It was a personal thing to him, something that he did not voluntarily admit to her.

She remembered one moment in particular when she had heard him pray.

_Shepard was going on an extremely long mission the next day. After some incredibly vigorous relations, Tiberus had held her until he had thought she had fallen asleep. Truth be told, it was incredibly difficult the last night of shore-leave, knowing that could be her last night with Tiberus. She had nearly drifted into dreamland until she heard his voice speaking softly over her._

_It was too soft for her translator to pick up. His voice was nearly purring his in chest, the vibrations a pleasant sensation at her back. Jane felt the most secure and safe in her Turian's arms. She knew that he was praying for her, because he only did it when she was asleep. She rarely ever heard him speak so reverently, unless he was extremely worried about an upcoming mission. However, it seemed that he was always much more at peace after speaking to the Spirits of his race._

_She had lain still, pretending to sleep as his words lazily coaxed her into a soft sleep. She had never felt more at peace than she did at that moment, covered in sweet prayers of protection and strong corded arms that swore to keep her safe._

Her little daydream had cost her.

There was a large group that had massed behind a large piece of cover before coming into view of the hallway. There were at least ten there, they must have decided this would be the big push; this would be when Shepard would be at her weakest.

They were right.

However, there was a serious miscalculation in their planning. They hadn't planned on the determination that was set in Shepard's mind. They didn't know how every time she killed a Batarian, she felt a small piece of her soul smile that she was repaying the debt of sorrow that they had inflicted upon a sixteen year old. They didn't realize how deeply her hatred of injustice and criminals ran, how she would easily give her life to save others, so that they would never have to face what she did.

Even at her weakest, Shepard was still stronger than ten mercenaries.

Bright green eyes peered over the large desk, and she glanced over at John before putting a pistol in his hands. She ruffled his raven hair, and felt him rouse. His eyes opened, and Shepard smiled before whispering, "Stay well, Riley,"

"…W-What?... Shep-… Shepard, what are you doing?" His voice cracked, not being used for hours. He had instinctively gripped the pistol, remembering where he was and what situation they were in.

Without a word, Shepard leapt over the cover, giving herself suppressive fire with an assault rifle.  _Boom._

After gaining some group, Shepard was able to use some rubble as cover and took a few of the Mercs out.  _Boom._  She was breathing hard, and her amp was still burning a hole in her head, but she could spend a little more energy.

Pulling out her shotgun, she left the assault rifle on the floor, and summoned her biotics for a last push. Her charge landed her in the middle of the remaining seven mercs, and she easily blew off the heads of two enemies before they realized she was in the midst of them.  _Boom._ She took that moment to strike into the ground, her biotics sending out a wave of her energy from her, knocking her enemies to the floor.  _Boom._

Using her shotgun with fatal efficiency, she took out three more before the rest got to their feet. Shepard's energy was waning, she couldn't move quickly enough. There were only two left. A Batarian managed to get a shot in at her shoulder, but she merely grunted, her armor taking the damage. Her remaining weapon, her heavy pistol, took out the last two enemies before she felt the darkness begin to creep in at the edges of her vision.  _Boom._

_What was that noise?_

As her vision continued to dim, Shepard was able to look to a large viewing window in the docking area, and she could have sworn…

_Is that the SSV Agincourt?_

The last thought Shepard had was simply wondering if Tiberus was praying for her now.


	6. I'll Be Alright

It was as if Shepard was in a dream. Everything was shrouded in a heavy haze as the sound of gunfire faded in and out. She fought for consciousness, and she could make out dark figures standing over her. Something was hot and wet against her cheek, a dull pain emanating from the area. Her lungs burned as she took a deep breath, and attempted to push herself off the hard ground. Her muscles protested but Shepard refused to take no for an answer, and the top half of her body

Strong arms were suddenly around her ribcage, pulling her into a figure that was lying against a wall. The sudden movements made her head swim and she struggled to keep nausea at bay. She must have really over done it to be this incapacitated. A warm hand brushed auburn locks from her face, and she slightly stiffened. Shepard wasn't used to someone touching her in a comforting way, at least not in the middle of a battlefield.

"Calm down Sunshine, your marine buddies are here. You've done enough, get some rest," The familiar voice of the past four days stilled her, and Shepard let her fuzzy vision descend into darkness and her body fully give into sleep. Her last thought was how nice John Riley sounded when he wasn't being a smartass.

* * *

The next time Shepard woke up, it was to the sound of an EKG machine beeping in time with her heartbeat.

Emerald eyes fluttered open as she took account of where she was. It was obviously a hospital, from all the quiet sounds going on in the room. A large window to the outside world was darkly opaque, to keep offending light from any patient's eyes.

The room was dimly lit otherwise, barely enough light to make out her hands. The soft sounds from nearby made Shepard realize she was hooked up to various IVs and monitoring devices. She had come to despise the Med-Bay after being one of the leading points on the ground teams. The only thing she hated more than visiting the Med-Bay, was having to stay overnight in it. As if the machines connected to her had a say in whether she lived or died.

Shepard had gained enough strength while sleeping to be able to sit up in the bed, the covers rustling. Her body ached everywhere, her muscles still telling her how much Jane had abused them, and there were small bruises covering her body. The largest amount of pain was still from that same spot on her left cheek. Fingertips lightly slid across the dull pain and she felt a bandage that went from the edge of her mouth to her temple. A rustle of sheets nearby sounded off to her left, and Shepard went still.  _There was someone else in the room with her_. She vainly wished for a heavy pistol at that moment.

"Who's there?" Shepard's voice was hoarse, and she wondered exactly how long as she been out.

"Mornin' Sunshine…or, should I say, evening," The responding voice made Shepard laugh.

"I'm in hell aren't I? I died and I'll be forever incapacitated in a hospital bed with only John Riley to keep me company," Shepard remarked tiredly.

"Aw, Sunshine. I didn't know you held such warm fuzzy feelings for me," His words drew another set of shaky laughs from Shepard.

"How did we get here? Where are we?" Shepard asked. Her mind was dizzy with questions.

"I was taking a nice nap most of the time after my genius plan was ruined by none other than you, Sunshine. I only remember waking up; some of the people from your ship were standing over you, returning fire at the remaining pirates. Most of them seem to be running," After taking a breath, he continued.

"I saw that there were multiple alliance frigates and cruisers that had entered the atmosphere, and most of the mercs' and pirates' ships were gone. I can only assume the goddamn cavalry had arrived just in time. When your crazy ass attempted to keep fighting, that's when I pulled you to me and told you to sleep, and soon after that we were put on a rapid transport and brought to  _the best hospital on Elysium_ , or that's what I was told by one of the brass,"

"Thanks, John," Jane responded.

"For what, Sunshine?"

"For saving my crazy ass," Shepard turned to lie on her side. She could faintly make out his figure, lying on his back, looking up at the ceiling. He didn't seem to be in any extreme pain, but he was probably used to dealing with wounds, big or small.

He stayed silent, and Shepard closed her eyes, sleep calling her body to rest for a while more.

* * *

This time when Jane awoke, it was daytime, and John Riley was in a clean uniform, sitting by her bed. He was reading something on a datapad and seemed to be deeply engrossed in whatever information it held.  _Wait_ …  _He reads?_

Shepard stretched slowly, and Riley looked up from his reading. He set the pad down and leaned his elbows on his knees, grey eyes trained on her. After yawning, Shepard gave him a small smile, sitting up in the bed.

"Leaving so soon?" Shepard asked with a single, fiery eyebrow raised.

"Not yet, I just volunteered to watch over you during the morning shift," The change in demeanor from Riley was unsettling and refreshing at the same time.

Attempting to lighten the mood, Shepard spoke, "Aw Riley, I didn't know you had such warm fuzzy feelings for me. I feel much better today. How long was I out for?"

"I got a clean bill of health yesterday, and we've been in this room for about four days. There have been a few others watching over you, a rather annoying engineer and a marine that goes by the name of… Verdi?" Riley explained.

"Vendi," Shepard corrected, "And Morior, by your colorful description,"

"Are you feeling okay? I should go let the others know that you've woken up," Riley began to get out of his chair, running a hand through his raven hair while he stood.

"I'm still a little sore, but I could probably take on another three days of pirates," Shepard smirked. Her hand deftly caught his before he could begin to walk away, "Hey John… Thanks… For staying, I mean," Shepard surprised herself with those words.  _Why do I care if he stayed or not?_

"I very well couldn't let these assholes watch over you, they all look at you like you're the second coming of Jesus-fucking-Christ… besides, you had me worried for a hot second," He squeezed her hand before pulling away. "When I told you to rest during that last fight on Elysium, you passed out, completely… I thought you were a goner, Sunshine,"

His steely gaze settled on her bright green eyes, "Don't scare me like that again,"

Shepard gave him a small smile and a mock-salute. "Aye-Aye, Sir,"

Riley left the room laughing.

* * *

The first to enter her room was Vendi, with a grin that was more subdued than usual.

"Jay-Gee! We never realized how much beauty sleep you needed to keep that youthful complexion of yours," He joked. He sat down in the chair beside her bed as the 'annoying engineer' had followed behind him.

"It's good to see you too, Vendi," Shepard responded.

"Shepard! I'm glad you're okay," Morior walked to the side of her bed, and gave her a hug that lasted longer than Shepard would have liked it to.

"I'm glad all of you are okay. Was anyone hurt?" Shepard hadn't given any thought to anyone else since she had woken up.

"There wasn't a single injury between the remainder of our teams, Lieutenant. Your leadership was amazing," Morior spoke, his eyes settled on her.

 _Ah, so that was the look that Riley was talking about_. Morior had always been enamored with Jane Shepard, especially when she had begun taking him on the ground team missions with her, but this… This look was one of severe admiration and respect, as if Shepard could never do wrong. It was completely flattering and burdening at the same time.

"Yeah Shep, there were some wounded planetside, but so far, Elysium hasn't reported a single casualty," Vendi's words made Shepard's heart surge in her chest.

"That's great news. I really couldn't have done this without either of you two," Shepard smiled.

They spoke for a few more minutes, mostly on what happened while Shepard was unconscious, how the Alliance had chased the pirates out of the system, and what they had been doing for the rest of their shore leave. It was refreshing to be able to speak to people without worrying about being shot at or having to duck for cover.

After a few minutes, Riley had returned. He had brought her some food, and her two squad-mates promptly left her to eat. Apparently, when Riley wasn't attempting to be a smartass, he could be rather intimidating while quiet. Shepard didn't mind that he ran off the other two; they  _had_  been staring at her like she was the Goddess of War. She didn't understand exactly why they were so reverent around her; it wasn't like they were in the thick of it. Perhaps that was why Riley was so level-headed, he  _had been there._  He'd seen everything.

"You were right about one thing," Shepard said between bites of her cafeteria food. "They certainly do look at me differently,"

Riley spoke slowly, "Well, after seeing the feeds-"

"What feeds? There was video?" She cut him off, fork in midair.

"The D-SEC cameras were still fully functional. Now every ass on Elysium knows what we did, what  _you_  did, Sunshine. They've been running those fucking feeds on every news channel since we were brought here," Riley shook his head, "At least you're safe from it while you recover here. Out there, I can't get far enough away from those goddamn reporters. A camera is in my face everywhere I turn, they're more of a pain in the ass than you,"

"Tell me how you  _really_  feel, John," Shepard responded sarcastically. She didn't know when she'd subconsciously decided to call him by his first name, but she liked it.

The door swished open quietly, surprising both Shepard and Riley. Their mouths dropped when they saw the pair of men who had entered the room. The first was taller than the second, with a pale complexion that came from living on ships for most of his life. His white hair was cropped short, bright blue eyes landing on Shepard's green gaze.  _Admiral Steven Hackett_. Shepard had seen transmissions from him multiple times; he was the Commanding Officer of her fleet. The fact that he was there, meant something big. The other man, much darker but only slightly shorter, was someone that Shepard had met once before.  _Captain David Anderson._  He was a man that inspired Shepard and she respected him.

Riley immediately stood at attention, and Shepard struggled to get up out of the bed, her strength still not fully returned.

"At ease, Soldiers. You have both been through a lot these past few days," Hackett spoke before Shepard could even set a foot down on the floor. Riley relaxed, and Shepard sat back on her bed.

"Excellent timing, Lieutenant Riley. We wanted to speak with both of you," Anderson's voice was always friendly and authoritative. Shepard would have loved to master that particular skill.

"To what do we owe this honor? I never would have expected either of you to come see us personally," Shepard responded. She thanked the heavens that her voice didn't shake or sound too awe-struck.

"We wanted to thank both of you for your valiant efforts. You fought with great strength and didn't waver in battle. In honor of your bravery and courage against incredible odds, there will be a ceremony in your honor at the end of the week. Your General should be here by then, Riley," The Admiral spoke.

"Thank you, Sir," Riley and Shepard said at the same time.

"There was one other thing," This time it was Anderson speaking. "This battle, this Skyllian Blitz, proves that both of you are more than simple soldiers. You are capable of cunning, leadership, and great ingenuity. That's why I wanted to extend an invitation to both of you to enter the Interplanetary Combatives Training program,"

Shepard's breath stopped at his words. The ICT program was for those with N-designations, for the elite of humanity. If they got into the program and performed to the best of their ability, they would become part of the special forces of the Alliance. The training was harsh and grueling, but you received the best that the military had to offer. It was a huge honor to be invited to the N-School.

"You don't have to give me an answer immediately, we only introduce new members into the academy once a year, so you have a few months to decide, but it would greatly honor the Villa if you both would consider joining us,"

Riley nodded, but Shepard was beaming. "Thank you, Sir. We will definitely take time to come to our own decisions," Her voice was stronger, no hint of wavering.

"I have some questions about it," Riley spoke aloud, and Captain Anderson nodded. "Of course, I can answer some of them if you would like to walk me out. It's like a maze in this place,"

Anderson saluted Shepard and she returned the motion. The two men left, speaking quietly, and the star-struck Sentinel turned her attention to her C.O.

"Was there anything else, Sir?" Shepard inquired, and he stepped closer to her bed nodding.

"There is," He sat down in the chair by her bed before continuing, "In special circumstances, there are awards given to those that go above and beyond their duty. The fifth fleet believes that you did that as the protector of Elysium. In five days, it will be my privilege to award you with the Star of Terra at the ceremony. Rest easy until then, Lieutenant,"

For a second time, Shepard was out of breath, and simply nodded. Hackett leaned forward, and set something in her palm before standing and leaving. Shepard didn't breathe until she heard the soft swish of the door opening and closing again.

When she opened her hand, there was a pair of connected silver bars. They went on the formal naval uniform that one wore at military conferences and meetings.

"I guess Vendi can't call me Jay-Gee anymore," Shepard whispered to herself.

* * *

Those five days flew by quickly.

Shepard had spent the first two days still in the hospital, but she had fully recovered. The bandage that had been covering her left cheek had been taken off to reveal a fresh pink scar that ran along the bone. She must have received it during the last blow-out she had with the pirates, because she didn't remember getting it. It would serve as a constant reminder of what she'd done to keep Elysium safe. She didn't mind it so much.

The remaining days that led up to the ceremony were a flurry of interviews and visiting places on Elysium. Shepard swore that she repeated the same damn thing to twenty different cameras, but she tried to keep it from annoying her. Riley had been spending a lot of time by her side because of the interviews; they always wanted the pair of them answering questions together. Riley always seemed annoyed by the constant flurry of cameras.

The day before the ceremony, an Asari had come to the hotel that Shepard was staying at, and told her that Elysium officials wanted to gift her with an apartment that overlooked the gardens that led to D-SEC. Shepard had accepted the apartment, but only under the condition that the location of it would never be known to anyone but herself and the officials, not even the Alliance or the Media. The Asari woman agreed to the condition, and by the end of the day, Shepard held the deed to a spacious apartment in one of the nicest buildings on Elysium.

Everything had been looking up for Shepard, until she realized that she hadn't been able to contact Tiberus. The length of her recovery, the constant monitoring from the Alliance, the publicized outings from the media, Shepard hadn't been able to get her hands on an Omni-tool. The most she'd been able to do was get a message out to Amber Damara through Alliance channels to let her know that she was okay. She hadn't dared mention anything about Tiberus.

It wasn't that she was ashamed of her relationship with Tiberus. She wasn't. However, she was now considered a pinnacle of humanity, and there were still a large percentage of people that despised Turians because of the First Contact War. The same could be said of Turians who despised Humans because of the Relay 314 incident. She didn't want to jeopardize Tiberus' standing within the Hierarchy, or chance the possibility of him being targeted for being with a human, much less the Hero of the Skyllian Blitz.

From all the coverage, Shepard was sure that he knew she was safe. However, she worried about him. She wanted to know that  _he_  was safe. After the ceremony was over, Jane Shepard would be hopping on the first flight to Taetrus.

* * *

The day of the ceremony was here. Shepard had been convinced to wear her hair up and relented in wearing a dress with heels. She had been conned.

The dress was a gown; it was black satin, form-fitting in the bodice and slightly flowing out towards the bottom. The waist had silver embellishments that mimicked the naval decorations on a formal uniform. The front gave her modest coverage, but the back was low-cut, revealing her skin all the way to her lower back. An older Asari had done her hair, artfully piling the red curls on top of her head, letting a few tendrils frame her face. The blue-skinned woman had also done her make-up, only putting on the minimal amount of coverage at the request of Shepard. Her heels were a pair of sensible black pumps that weren't too tall. She hadn't worn heels in ages, but it was like riding a bike.

Jane felt like a trophy about to be flaunted in front of billions.

The entire event was going to be streamed live over the extranet, for any planet this side of the galaxy to watch. Even though it was a human event, Elysium was a central hub for every major citadel race and a few others. It was a big deal to everyone that Shepard and her squad-mates had been able to successfully keep the pirates from ravaging the planet.

There was a knock her hotel's door that pulled her from her thoughts on the ceremony. She was nervous about it, but that couldn't be helped.

Making her way to the door, she opened it to reveal a  _very handsome_  raven haired man. He was dressed in the Marine evening uniform. It was the most elaborate and formal of all uniforms, with the suit being very much like a tuxedo, only adding embellishing to the cuffs and stripes down the sides of the pants. Gloved hands held a white cap with the 'Captain' insignia on the front. Grey eyes were taking in her appearance as she was taking in his.

"You look nice,  _Captain_  Riley," Shepard smiled as she spoke.

"You look incredible, Sunshine," Riley offered his arm while speaking, and Shepard took it easily.

Suddenly she wasn't so nervous.


	7. Who Owns My Heart?

Jane Shepard had been wondering the past few days why she was so at ease when around John Riley. He was charming and funny, sure, but so were other squad-mates that she had been teamed up with and she wasn't as comfortable around them. Of course he was capable and self-sufficient, but it was the fact that he stood by her that had made her trust him completely.

Trust that was forged in blood and fire, fighting side by side for days on end. The two of them had a bond that would forever keep one in the other's mind. It was the knowledge that without them standing beside one another at Elysium's gates, the entire planet, along with both of them, would be under control of pirates and mercenaries.

Trust that John Riley had earned a place at Jane Shepard's side, and that she had earned a place beside him. Their demeanors towards one another had changed. He was much more cordial and less brazen around her than before, and she seemed much more casual, not as professionally distant than before the Skyllian Blitz.

"Are you ready for this, Lieutenant Shepard?" Riley's voice pulled Shepard out of her thoughts. Her bright green irises met his steely gaze, and surprisingly she felt better about the entire ordeal they were about to go through.

They were at the ceremony hall, in the biggest presidium on Elysium. It had been decorated with Alliance's colors, and soon after they entered, all eyes would be on them. Once the procession started, they would both be public promoted, and receive recognition as Heroes of the Skyllian Blitz.

"As ready as I'll ever be," She responded. Jane looked down at her gown, nervously running her left hand over the fabric, her right hand still holding onto Riley's arm.

"Do I look okay?" Shepard glanced up, waiting for his response.

Riley lifted his hand to brush a strand of auburn behind her ear and spoke softly, "You look perfect,"

Shepard beamed, "Then let's get this show on the road, Captain,"

* * *

The ceremony went off without a hitch. There were hundreds of people in attendance in the large hall. The beginning was slightly awkward, the Alliance had decided to show some clips from the Blitz to introduce Shepard and Riley, but then it was smooth sailing. Shepard didn't stumble once in her heels, and she managed to not look too awestruck at the Star of Terra when it was handed to her by none other than Admiral Hackett. Riley also received several marine honors, and Riley was publicly announced as the rank of Captain, and Shepard was given the rank of Lieutenant, no longer Junior-Grade.

The cameras had been trained on her and Riley most of the time, but when it came time for her speech, Shepard remembered to mention her squad-mates from the SSV Agincourt. In Shepard's mind, they were as much heroes as she was. Without their help, the Alliance probably wouldn't have come to the rescue for many more days and Shepard, along with Riley, would be dead.

Shortly after the awards were given out, Admiral Hackett along with General Stalinski gave parting speeches. They highlighted the bravery of the pair of soldiers that had fought against the perils of pirates, and concluded the evening by inviting everyone to the reception being held on the same floor.

Asari, Salarian, Human, Turian and even some Volus were herded into the larger adjacent room. It was decorated elaborately, with buffet tables lining the walls, dining tables littering the room, the center open and empty. A dance floor.  _Oh God._

"I think I'm going to turn in early," Shepard muttered, backing up and heading towards the exit. A strong, warm hand caught her wrist before she could get any further.

"Sunshine, if you leave now, the reporters are going to think something is wrong, they'll be on you like a Krogan needing fresh thermal clips," Riley's mouth had somehow gotten  _extremely_ close to her ear, his breath warming her cheek.

Moving her face far enough away to look at him, she glanced at the exit. The reporters were being held back by security, but they were still able to take pictures.  _I can't believe I'm thinking this… but Riley is right, if I leave now, it'll be a mad house trying to get away._

Sighing, Shepard nodded. "Fine, I'll stay- For Now. I am  _not_  dancing though," She eyed the dance floor warily, before turning to head towards the nearest buffet.

"Come on Sunshine, lighten up," Riley followed her, and they both began adding generous amounts of food to the plates they were given. "Don't tell me you can't dance,"

"I can dance! This just isn't the type of music that I normally… Okay, so  _maybe_  I can't dance," Jane admitted.

Riley chuckled, and they headed to a table nearby. They talked for a few minutes until none other than Captain Anderson sat down beside Shepard with a plate of his own.

"That was a great speech, Shepard. You did the Alliance proud by remembering everyone involved in the Blitz," He spoke incredibly elegantly for someone who'd been in the service for so long.

"Thank you, sir. I was only expressing how I felt when I talked about everyone doing their part. Our military has made huge strides since entering citadel space," Shepard managed to get out between bites.

"Have either of you decided whether or not you'll be joining us at the Villa this spring?" Anderson was referring to the N-school.

"I need a little more time to think it over, but you'll have your answer soon, sir," Jane responded.

"You can bet your ass I'll be there, Anderson. I wouldn't miss this for the world," Riley answered. Shepard glared at him until he ended his words with, "Sir,"

Anderson just laughed. They talked about different subjects until the three of them were finished eating, Shepard had taken longer to eat because of the massive amount of food she'd piled on her plate.

"I have to eat a lot okay? I'm a biotic," Shepard said defensively as Riley eyed the several empty plates surrounding her.

"Whatever you say, Sunshine. I've been in the marines for over five years, and I've never seen someone put away that much food,"

Anderson chuckled and said his good-byes to the pair as he made his way towards where Admiral Hackett and General Stalinski were in deep conversation. Shepard took a deep breath, _perhaps I did eat a little more than normal…_

People began to stop by their table and sit and chat with the Heroes of Elysium, asking them the same questions that they had answered on television.

_Yes, it was overwhelming having to fight that many pirates and mercenaries by ourselves._

_No, we were not afraid to die. There were too many lives at stake to worry about ourselves._

_Yes, I was tired after fighting four days on end._

_No, we are not together._

That last question always made Shepard think.  _Why did everyone assume that she and John were_ _ **together**_ _? Sure, they were close, but it was the closeness of camaraderie. It was a platonic companionship, couldn't everyone see that?_

Glancing over at John, she noticed that he was 'taking account' of a rather beautiful woman dressed in a strapless, floor-length gown. It was a sapphire blue, the same color as her eyes. Her hair was darker than Riley's, if that was possible, and it curled lightly around her pale shoulders.  _Of course he would pick the most gorgeous woman in the room to look at_ , Shepard thought darkly.

"Why don't you go talk to her?" Shepard asked with her head tilted towards the blue-eyed woman.

"Talk to who, Sunshine? Oh, her? I don't want to talk to her," Riley shook his head, his eyes focusing back on Jane.

A red eyebrow rose in disbelief, "Really? Then why were you staring her down that she was a fresh piece of meat?"

"..Nevermind… Do you want to dance?" His question made Shepard's jaw drop. Without waiting for an answer, Riley stood up and deftly pulled her to her feet.

"Would I get out of dancing if I said No?"

Riley smirked, "No,"

"Then I guess I don't have a choice," Shepard said, exasperated.

"I guess you don't," Riley led her to the center of the room, stopping at the edge where the plush carpet ended and the dance floor began.

He stepped out onto the floor, and turned to Shepard, hand outstretched. A few people had taken notice, and were making space on the floor for them to join in. Jane breathed deeply, and took John's open hand. The music was classical  _Ars nova_ , completely instrumental and slow, perfect for a cross-species high-class event.

John kept his left hand intertwined with Jane's, and his right hand settled on the middle of her back. Heat shot up Jane's spine where John's hand sat, but she ignored it, focusing on conversation instead.

"So, we aren't going to talk about the hottie that you were eyeing earlier?"

"I wasn't eyeing her, Sunshine," Riley whispered with disdain.

"Oh, then you were just inspecting her outfit to make sure the fashion police wouldn't arrest her for too much cleavage, is that it?" Shepard asked spitefully.

"I know her," He finally conceded.

"An old friend?" Jane asked, her curiosity piqued.

"More like old enemy, I think she's with the organization Cerberus. At least, I think it's her. I ran into her when my ground team went on a few raids of underground laboratories that were doing illegal genetic experiments," His words were hushed; Riley had leaned closer to Shepard.

She had to fight hard to keep from blushing as his cheek slid against hers.  _It had been far too long since she'd seen Tiberus._  Focus on the conversation.

"What do you think she's doing here?"

"Word has it that Cerberus has funding from the Alliance. I can't do anything about her being here, but we should just stay alert in case something goes down. Cerberus is a human-first organization, could be that bitch has an anti-alien terrorism strike planned," As Riley spoke; it was hard for Shepard to concentrate on his words as his mouth brushed against her ear.

"Right, be careful,"  _Oh God_ , her voice had gone husky.

They danced in silence for a few more minutes. Finally, after a third song had ended, Shepard stepped back. She needed to get home. She chastised herself for enjoying John's company a little too much.

"I need to leave. I have to get home," Shepard left the dance floor, heading towards one of the far off exits. It was only when she reached the door and entered an empty hallway that she realized John had followed her.

"Jane…" Riley reached out to her, but Shepard stepped back.

"John… I have someone," Jane spoke, taking a deep breath.

He took a step towards her, "Then why isn't he here, now?"

"It's not that simple," Her brow furrowed as she looked down.

"Sure it is. Who would leave such a strong, beautiful woman without a date on a night in which she's being honored?" Riley took another step, and he was back in her breathing space.

"It's not that simple," Shepard repeated.

Jane Shepard looked up from her feet and came face to face with a pair of piercing grey eyes. Again, John took Jane by surprise, and simply bent down and kissed her cheek. A swirl of emotions surrounded the gesture that ended in a  _click_. Riley then backed away slowly, a very devil-may-care smirk on his face.

"See you later, Sunshine,"

He disappeared back behind the door moments later, Shepard still standing in the hallway.

* * *

To say that Shepard was excited to see her favorite Turian would be the understatement of the year. Jane was excited to see his bright blue eyes, feel his strong, corded muscles, smell that scent of smoked pine that was uniquely Tiberus, and see if he still tasted the same after she was brushed by death. She couldn't wait to be with him and tell him about everything that happened. Shepard was even excited to talk with Eliza and see how she was faring.

She brushed her midnight gown nervously as she sat in the cabin of the high-class Turian Cruiser. An extremely grateful Volus had offered a ride to Taetrus, a thank you for saving his flourishing business on Elysium. He hadn't even asked why she would be visiting a planet that was over 90% Turian. Shepard had decided she would try and save more planets like this if she continued to get this kind of treatment. They had offered her a change of clothes, but seeing that Shepard hadn't really gotten anything dirty, she declined. She'd much rather surprise Tiberus in her evening dress in any case.

Jane had been able to buy a new Omni-tool at the docking bay, her old one still with her armor that had been sent to the SSV Agincourt. She had also been given over three months of shore leave. That was an unusually large amount, but then again, Shepard did save an entire planet.

With the new Omni-tool, Jane had been able to send an encrypted message to Tiberus, letting him know that she would be home in less than 12 hours. He should be on shore leave, but if he wasn't, he'd still get the message if he was in range of the extranet's reach.

Shepard had finally taken a nap to make the time go by. Her sleep did make time fly, and by the time she had woken up, they were nearly to the docking station.

Jane had packed light, and only needed to put a Datapad and the new Omni-tool back in the small pack she'd gotten. She was the first one off the cruiser, and immediately called for a rapid transport to take her to their apartment. Jane couldn't bear to hold her excitement in any longer.

Standing at the door of the apartment, she didn't even attempt to greet Eliza before opening the door. The entrance swished open soundlessly, and she stepped inside. It was night time this side of the planet, the room was pitch-black. Jane flipped the lights on using a nearby Holo-pad, only illuminating the room for her to easily navigate to the bedroom. Tiberus was probably asleep, it was nearly 3AM.

The lights revealed a startling discovery.

The living room was exactly how she remembered it, the very first time she'd ever entered the apartment. Ancient Turian weapon replicas were sitting on shelves, but her human novels were absent. The blanket that was normally draped across the back of the couch was missing, the hologram of the pair of them was missing from the wall.

That was when she noticed the boxes. They were square, medium-sized, and on the side of each of them scrawled – clearly in Turian hand – was 'Jane'. Her throat closed up.  _Did he think I died?_

Jane slipped off her shoes and set her bag down, a quiet thud against the ground. She opened the top one gingerly; it held her girly soaps and perfumes, along with the softer, human-version of his towels.

* * *

After a few moments, Jane collected herself. There had to be an explanation. Perhaps he had simply thought that she died, that Taetrus hadn't yet heard that there were no casualties on Elysium. Perhaps they hadn't been one of the planets to transmit the Alliance's celebratory event through their planetary extranet. Still, Tiberus would've searched for any news of her once he had found out.

She was afraid of the alternative reason her things were packed.

Jane put the towel back in the box, closing it up. There was one way to find out.

Standing up, Jane moved towards the hallway, but before she could even pass the kitchen, the bedroom door swished open. The towering dark figure in the hallway took her breath away.

"Tiberus?" Jane wished that her voice sounded surer.

"Jane…" Somehow hearing his voice, absent of any warm emotion just confirmed her fears. The usually comforting flanging was tinged with a hard coldness.

He stepped towards her, and she fought to stay rooted. She wouldn't run scared; she would face whatever was going on. His face was set in stone, his mandibles immobile as he breathed. He was trying to intimidate her into backing down.

"Tiberus, what's wrong?" Jane whispered, reaching out for him. He kept just out of reach, and those few inches of distance seemed like light years.

"Jane, you need to leave,"

Her heart cracked under the weight of those words.


	8. If You Don't Come Back to Me

Jane felt like she had been struck. Tiberus' words were stronger than any wave of mercenaries that Shepard had taken on.

"…What?" Perhaps she didn't hear his words correctly.

"You need to leave," Tiberus stated again, in that eerily chilling voice. The pair of diamonds that were currently piercing her soul didn't make the Heroine of Elysium back down.

The red-head's brow furrowed and she took a step towards him. Surprisingly the much larger male took a step back to keep out of her reach.

"I'm not going anywhere. What's wrong with you?" The words fell clumsily from her mouth as she tried to gain her bearings.

"What's wrong with  _me_? I should ask what's wrong with you,  _Lieutenant_ ," He couldn't have said her new rank with more derision if he had tried. Tiberus didn't stop there, however. Jane had released the flood gates.

"When I heard Elysium had been attacked, I tried to contact you as soon as I could. I did everything in my power to find you, to make sure you were okay.  _Spirits_ , I didn't eat for nearly four days, I was so sick with worry. I only found out that you were okay nearly  _a week later_  from some Alliance channel giving a report on how you had  _nearly died_ , and that you were currently hospitalized," He had to take a deep breath to keep steady.

Jane couldn't manage more than a gasp.

He continued, regardless, "I was relieved that you were safe, although I didn't know how serious your injuries were. I thought that then,  _maybe_ ; you would send me a message once you had gotten better. Little did I know that was fruitless wishing," Tiberus' voice had gone from cold to hot with anger.

This time, Tiberus took a deliberate step towards her, attempting to overshadow her smaller figure. Jane wasn't known to back down from anyone, but her knees grew weak.

"A few days later, and it's like I can't change a channel without you being on it. Every channel shows you with that  _ass_  of a human male, John Riley. I sat there watching you being interviewed, completely fine and at ease, comforted by another-," His hands had become fists in an effort to not to touch her.

"There was nothing between us!" Jane had allowed Tiberus to vent his emotions, knowing that he couldn't talk about her to anyone else, but she would not accept his assumptions.

"Oh really? Eliza, would you be so kind as to bring up last night's Westerlund News Report?"

"Of course," Eliza didn't sound too pleased with Jane either. This was definitely not how Shepard had planned on her return to home turning out.

Within moments, the large Luma-gel monitor in the living room flickered to life, and a young reporter is talking excitedly about the Alliance Event that happened on Elysium to celebrate the Heroes of Elysium. Nothing seems too suspicious until a still-frame image comes onscreen.

The blood completely drains from Jane's face while staring at the moment that John kissed her on the cheek in the hallway. The woman is reporting on the fact that John and Shepard had spent nearly the entire night together, and continues explaining how they were nearly inseparable while on Elysium.

"You would believe the news, but not believe the person that you've known for years? John is nothing more than a friend, he looked out for me the entire time I was there," Jane stayed calm, not letting a shred of anger take ahold of her.

Tiberus leaned down, his face inches away from her, and he inhaled deeply.

"You even smell like him, Jane. What am I supposed to think?" His voice was like a fire washing over her, and Jane finally flinched.

"Eliza, turn it off," Jane felt like Eliza was the child caught in the middle of her parents' argument. "Leave us alone for a while," That meant that Jane wanted Eliza to turn off any transmitters or receivers in the entire apartment. It was the best that Jane could do to keep Eliza out of the fight.

Jade irises stared straight into icy blues, and Jane built up her resolve. She had to defuse the situation.

"I'm sorry I made you upset," Her brow furrowed as she frowned, "But I didn't do anything wrong. I couldn't contact you because I was monitored day and night by the Alliance once I was out of the hospital. John was the only friend I had the entire time, he saved my life by watching my back on Elysium. He and I were expected to present a unified front for the Alliance. You have him to thank for me being alive,"

"Thank him? For what? Stealing my mate? Why did you even come back? You seemed happy enough with him. He's better for you anyway," His voice had lost its fire. The keening sound that came from his sub-harmonics twisted a knife into Jane's gut.  _Why was he saying these things?_

"What? Tiberus, John hasn't stolen anything," Her pale hand slid up the side of his face and went just underneath his fringe. She had a hold on his head where he couldn't look at anything but her face. "I came back because  _you're the only one I've ever wanted_ , Tiberus,"

"Jane, he can give you a real future. One where you have a family, one where you don't have to have separate meals," The defeated tone of his voice just drove the knife deeper. Turians weren't able to cry, but Jane had begun to shed enough tears for the both of them.

"When have you ever known me to take the easy way out? Have I ever mentioned being unhappy or wanting something different?" Jane shook her head in disbelief, "I don't want a future with John. I want a future with you,"

"Jane… I-" Tiberus was cut off by Jane's fingertips lightly scraping the sensitive skin under his fringe.

"Stubborn man, what will it take for you to understand that I love you more than anything?" With those words, Jane pulled Tiberus closer to her and kissed him as deeply as she could, mandibles-be-damned.

The action spurred Tiberus on, reigniting the heat within him, but it fueled passion rather than anger this time. His taloned hands found their way to her bottom. The midnight-hued Turian picked her up and pushed her against the hallway wall, feeling her softer curves pressing into his plated body.

Pulling away reluctantly to come up for air, Jane pressed her forehead against his. "I am sorry for one thing," She whispered, her mouth caressing the crook of his neck, hidden inside his collar-ridge.

"What's that?" There was the voice Jane had expected to hear when she arrived home, full of longing and passion. She just had to fight for it.

"Not coming home sooner," Her tongue slid across the bite mark that she'd made nearly a year ago. Nipping it made Tiberus shiver, but his mouth had found the same spot on her shoulder.

"I'm sure you'll make it up to me," Tiberus purred against her shoulder. His words shot liquid pleasure down her spine, and she arched into him, silently telling him what she wanted. He bit down, marking her again, her body shuddering against his. Jane let out a moan, her hands rubbing the skin underneath his fringe.

"You bet I will," Her husky voice replied. "Now let me remind you why I came home,"

* * *

A dream of Mindoir's attack woke Jane. She was so used to the nightmare by this point; Jane was never surprised when she awoke. After six years of the same images playing out in her head, Jane could act out the entire attack without a second thought. She wasn't sure if that was a good thing or not.

Of course, Tiberus was awake. She had either woken him up, or he had already been awake.

"Mindoir?" He whispered, nuzzling her cheek softly. Jane's back was settled comfortably against Tiberus' chest, her head turned to look at him from the corner of her emerald irises.

"The one and only," Jane responded, turning her head slightly to press her forehead against his. "I don't have nightmares about anything else,"

"Not Elysium?" Tiberus sounded surprised.

"On Elysium, I was surprised, but I wasn't helpless. I had a large team with me, and if you haven't noticed, I'm a lot different now than I was when I was sixteen years old," Jane explained, "I wasn't even scared on Elysium, by the end of it, I was just exhausted. So, no, I don't think I'll have bad dreams about it,"

Warm talons slid down her shoulder and over her side, sending tendrils of delight down her spine. A warm tongue slid across her bottom lip, requesting entrance. Jane welcomed the kiss, moving to lay on her back, her hands roving up his arms and over his collar-ridge to clasp behind the Turian's neck.

"I can definitely tell a difference between the sixteen-year-old Jane Shepard, and the one here today," Tiberus purred, his body hovering over hers. His hands had settled at her hips. Jane thanked the Spirits that they slept naked.

"Oh really?" Jane raised a fiery eyebrow in challenge. "Like what?"

"For starters, you don't call me Oraka anymore," His voice had lowered in register, it was deep and with each consonant he pronounced, his chest vibrated in a pleasant purr.

"Would you like me to?..." A devious smirk had appeared on the red-head's face, "Oh,  _Major Oraka_ , I was sooo worried that you wouldn't rescue me in time from that thresher maw…" Her high-pitched damsel-in-distress voice trailed off when Jane registered the expression on Tiberus' face as surprise.

"What?" Her head tilted in worry.

"I… didn't realize that you… kept up with my promotions…" He seemed both embarrassed and flattered within the same moment. Jane seized his momentary distraction and managed to roll their bodies across the mattress, her smaller female frame sitting on top of his much larger frame.

Leaning over him, Jane inhales that ever familiar scent of smoked pine. "Even though I'm not always able to communicate to you, I'm always thinking about you, Tiberus Oraka. I always have Eliza send me any news in the Hierarchy that deals with you. That way I don't have to worry so much,"

Tiberus purrs in response to her words, shifting his legs to either side of her. "That's very flattering, Jane Shepard,"

Before the Heroine of Elysium could speak again, her breath hitched. Her Turian lover had begun teasing her entrance with his growing need. Green irises became heavy-lidded as she took a shaky breath, sliding down and taking in his full length. When he was sheathed to the hilt, his hands cupped her bottom and began to move against her in a slow rhythm.

Tiberus was a master at making sure Jane was ready before increasing the tempo of his thrusts. His tongue would peruse the dips of her collarbone, his teeth grazing against the sensitive spots on her side and shoulder. He was adept at eliciting cries from Jane until he was satisfied with the wetness that flowed from her folds. That was when he would pick up the pace.

The force he utilized allowed him to feel every inch he took from her, only to groan when filling her up again with those same inches.

The sensations of bliss soon overwhelming Jane, she wasn't able to resist moving for long. Soon, their paces matched, their moans competing to see who could be louder, their hands rivaling to see who could touch more of the other, their bodies crashing against one another to see who could reach the apex first.

With each thrust matching every roll of her hips, Jane raced closer to climax. Sweat beaded at her spine, her body giving off a gleam of moonlight from the single window of the bedroom. Midnight plates dimly glinted with every movement that sent pleasure wracking through Jane's body. Each angle and edge of his plates slid against her, creating more tension within her body, helping her creep closer to that delicious oblivion.

In a final push, Jane won the race, with Tiberus following soon after.

Her hands clung to slick plates as Jane rode Tiberus, her body convulsing in waves of satisfaction. She could feel her lover pump into her for a few seconds after the last thrills of euphoria passed over her. The Turian below her shuddered for a moment or two, letting the afterglow settle before pulling her into his hot embrace.

That time, Jane slept free of nightmares.

* * *

"So they gave me an apartment in one of the nicest districts of Elysium. Something called the Diamond Quarter, full of the higher-ups of Elysium," Jane spoke as she lay on her side, her fingers lazily tracing the edges of dark chest-plates.

"Oh, it's good that I packed up your boxes then," Tiberus noted thoughtfully, not giving away an ounce of emotion in his statement.

"Don't be ridiculous, you're stuck with me,  _Major Oraka_ ," The red-head teased the Turian, "However, it's a great vacationing spot for when we have more shore-leave together,"

He hummed thoughtfully, "I could go for a change in scenery,"

Tiberus' words made Jane break out into a smile. She leaned up and pressed her forehead against his, whispering, "I'm so glad I found you,"

"Me too, Jane," The subharmonics of his voice were full of a noise that Jane had come to understand as happy or content.

A comfortable silence stretched between them, pale skin comfortably resting against gunmetal plates. Angles met curves in a sweet harmony of heat, until Shepard decided to break the silence.

"I was so scared when I came home…" She breathed, "When I saw how angry you were, I was afraid everything was over," Her face buried itself into Tiberus' soft neck, inhaling the smoky scent of pine. "I thought I was going to lose you,"

"Jane…" Talons slid down her back, massaging her muscles in an effort to comfort her. "I was angry, but I wasn't thinking clearly when I packed your things. I never wanted you to leave… I just thought you had moved on and you didn't want to be with me anymore. Any human man, soldier or not, can give you things I could never hope to give you,"

"The things I need…" Jane replied. "The things I want… are all with you. When I was on Elysium, just before I blacked out, my last thought was of you," A ball had formed in her throat as she spoke, her mind going back to those last moments of the fight.

"Jane… You don't have to…" As Tiberus attempted to speak, but five-digits slid softly against his mandible, quieting him.

"Let me just say this…" Freckled cheeks were wet with hot tears, "The only thing that ran through my mind when I died… was how much I would regret not being able to tell you how much I love you,"

A deep breathe, and she continued, "I love you with every part of my being. I know we have our differences, and there will be more fights in the future, but I'm willing to work it out if you are,"

In that moment, Jane Shepard realized the true meaning of being brave. She learned that there is more to bravery than standing strong in the face of fear. Bravery is having the courage to bare one's vulnerabilities, no matter the consequences.

In that moment, Jane Shepard would have willingly taken on another 10,000 Batarians the seconds after she spoke.

Before her thoughts could run away, Tiberus simply pulled Jane's frame closer to his, kissing her deeply.

"I love you too. More than I could have ever realized,"

They talked for a few more minutes before drifting off to sleep. Jane mentioned that the Alliance was going to give her a few months off as an extended shore-leave. It was both considered a 'Thank-You' for her heroics on Elysium, but also to give her some vacation time before N-School started in the Sol System.

Tiberus went over the mission that he would be taking on in two weeks; it would be an extremely dangerous one, infiltrating a Blue Suns Base. Tiberus didn't consider it to be anything out of the ordinary, Jane disagreed. His retort was simply, 'Danger is my last name,' and Jane had to inform him that the correct term was 'Danger is my middle name,' though she still worried. Shepard brushed it off being that it was the first mission he was going on after the Skyllian Blitz.

Tiberus drifted off to sleep first, which was a surprise to Shepard. Usually she was the one to pass out, but her compounded sleep and rest in the hospital had left her overly energetic the past few days. Her eyes roved over his larger form in the dim room, the ghostly glow of twin moons silhouetting his outline perfectly.

The moons bathed her skin in a soft cast of light, her hands roaming lightly up her Turian's arms and up to his collar-ridge. Jane pressed her forehead to Tiberus' once more, and softly whispered a prayer to the spirits.


	9. Broken Down the Middle

"I just don't understand why I have to do this, I understand that it's important for morale and what-not, but I don't exactly feel that it's necessary. I mean, it's not like we're in the middle of a galactic war," Jane said, staring into the bathroom mirror. She was in the midst of brushing her hair, which she had allowed to grow past her shoulders.

To a stranger, it would seem that Jane was speaking to herself.

"Jane, indicated by studies done within the Turian Hierarchy and past Human governments, individual soldiers' determination and motivation increases after an assembly with a universal hero or heroine of their time. That is why Admiral Hackett has asked you to present speeches and make appearances on the Alliance's ships," The smooth tones emanated from the speakers built into the wall nearby.

To Jane, she was speaking to her ever-present, synthetic guardian angel. Eliza, for short.

The red head sagged towards the sink, her lungs sighing. "I understand, Eliza. I don't have to like it, however,"

"As Captain Anderson stated in his messages, you'll simply have to 'Get used to it, Shepard'. It will be expected of you, since you're becoming a pinnacle of humanity," The AI supplied coolly.

Jane grunted in response. She didn't seem even remotely surprised that Eliza had begun looking at her extranet mail.

"At least I don't have another one for a few weeks. I would give anything to be back on the SSV Agincourt, though. I really miss everyone," She lamented, her hand smoothly moving the brush through her wavy auburn locks.

Eliza managed to sound chastising as she spoke, "I think it was a rather genius idea of the Alliance to have you give speeches and make appearances before your ICT induction. If you were off-shore and on a mission, you could run the risk of missing the ceremony, since they only accept new candidates annually. This is a great opportunity for you, Jane Shepard, the Interplanetary Combative Training is-"

"The Systems Alliance's premier school for leadership and combat expertise. The Interplanetary Combative Academy designates universal prestige to those who are simply accepted into the program," Shepard finished the spiel for her. "Yes, I know, Eliza. You've told me this at least a hundred times since I told you that I accepted their invitation to the Villa,"

"Incorrect, I have only repeated this particular piece of information a total of 27 times to you," Eliza understood the idea of sarcasm better with each passing day.

"Right, I'm going to bed now. Goodnight, Eliza," Fingertips set the brush down by the sink. A smirk formed on pink lips as she remembered Tiberus' first reaction to her brush. In the background of her mind, she heard Eliza coo a response to her words, but the AI's words were lost in the noise of her thoughts.

Stepping carefully in the dark to the bed, Jane slid into empty sheets. Her smile was replaced by a thin line, lips pressed together in worry and thought. Tiberus had been gone for two months, but he'd been regularly corresponding with her up until last week. She knew that he had mentioned they were getting close to the base, and there would be complete communication silence once they had reached their target. Jane had hoped that he would at least send one message before he lost the ability to talk to her until the mission was complete.

Shepard had been pushing away the nagging worry in her stomach every day. She was able to keep smiling at the press conferences, the slowly waning interviews, the military speeches, the pleasant-but-tiring meetings with Captain Anderson and the vidcoms with Admiral Hackett.

Shepard couldn't keep the concern at bay forever, though. Night was when the seeds of terrors sprouted. Jane would lay in their bed, in the midst of a smoky pine scent, tear-stained sketches of Taetrus' native life, and a Turian-shaped hole.

Jane took a deep breath in the dark.

She intertwined her fingers.

Eyelashes met as green eyes closed.

Jane began her nightly ritual.

She prayed to the spirits.

The words had not stopped since Tiberus had left.

* * *

The praying had become more fervent lately.

It had been over a month since she last heard from Tiberus. The mask of happiness she wore was cracking on the edges, the color fading from its cheeks. The moments she stole to look in the mirror, dead eyes stared back at her. Without work, she'd begun to dwell on the thoughts of what could've happens. Scenarios run through her head daily, only the scheduled events or meetings giving her relief. She dove headfirst into her work, trying to forget those merciless thoughts of her dead lover.

_They see my smile, my laugh and the hurt behind my eyes. Loss is not so easily disguised. I have tried my best to keep on with my sunny disposition, but I close my eyes and I end up reminiscing._

When there weren't assemblies to attend, Jane would occupy herself with training, exhausting herself. Hours on end, skin dripping with sweat, relentless blows to the air, hot emeralds staring hard, thoughts still relentless. Her body would tire long before her mind, after the shower, after the dry clothes, the wondering would persist.

Night was the worst.

_Save me from waking up tonight._

Even after her muscles screamed in protest, after her paperwork and meetings all went smoothly, the pondering continued.  _Where is he? Why hasn't he contacted me yet? What if he's dead? What if I never see him again?_

Jane Shepard was afraid to sleep. She was afraid of the dreams that would come, whether it was her powerlessness of Mindoir, the exhaustion of Elysium, or the unknown fate of her lover, Jane didn't want to face it alone.

_Left to my own devices, I stay up 'til 3am. I spend the whole day awake, then do it all again._

However, even Jane wasn't powerful enough to push away sleep, and after a few hours of simply lying in bed, her mind would allot her sleep. She would succumb to Mindoir, Elysium and the Unknown.

This night was slightly different. Sleep came easily to her, her mind empty after a day full of Alliance Brass poking and prodding. These were the few moments of reprieve Jane was given between weeks of hell.

"Jane?"

_There went those moments of reprieve._

"Yes, 'Liza?" Jane answered the AI.

"I've been able to receive transmission information from Tiberus' Omni-tool. If you would like, I can relay the information to you, or you can wait until the morning, after you've slept," Jane's mind had ignited into overdrive from the first sentence Eliza had spoken. Yet, there was some twinge of emotion within the smooth tones of the sentient machine. Jane couldn't quite place it.

"Eliza, you can't just say something that's rather vitally important to me, and then say 'Oh, it can wait until morning though,' that's awful," The redhead responded, sitting up and stretching in the bed. "So, let's have it,"

"First off, Jane, you must understand that this is not definite evidence for what has happened to Tiberus-" Eliza began.

"Just tell me what you've found, Eliza. I can deal with it," Jane had to know.

Eliza began to speak slowly, as if she was reading the information as she explained it to Jane. "The best way to explain what I've found is that the omni-tool was just recently brought within long-range extranet scanners. The scanners were able to give me feedback for the past few hours, however, so I was able to extrapolate a large amount of bio-metric readings from Tiberus' omnitool,"

 _Did an AI need to take breaths?_  Eliza seemed to before continuing.

"The readings went from stable signs of life to no available data," Eliza finished.

Silence.

Silence that seemed to go on for hours.

Silence Jane finally had to break.

"So? Tiberus lost his Omni-tool? It was taken from him? What does that mean Eliza?" Her voice was slow to respond, her mind not quite understanding.

"Jane, it means that Tiberus' Omni-tool went from reading something alive to something dead. If it were not on him, or if it were not on someone else, it would be turned off. His armor or suit must have kept it powered long enough that when they were in range, it was able to transmit data here. I've since lost contact with his Omni-tool," The AI was clearly remorseful, the synthetic voice full of regret for clarifying the data's information.

"That can't be right, Eliza," The redhead's eyes had gone hard, her head shook back and forth. "He must've put it on someone else, that's why it suddenly went from something to nothing. He did it to keep anyone from tracking him,"

"Jane, that might be the case, but the likelihood has less than a 7.8% chance. The signs I was receiving before the transmission went out were similar signatures to Tiberus' normal life signs. The other possibility is much more likely," Eliza was attempting to be reassuring. Badly.

Hands clenched tightly, pain trickling up her arms from her own strength. Pain that was nothing compared to what she felt in her heart. An emptiness overwhelming her. She couldn't breathe.

"The other possibility?" Jane began, breathing heavily. "The possibility that my life will never be normal again? That the one person I've loved since my family died, is just as dead? That I was just as powerless to help him as I was to help them? A person that you've occupied the same space with for nearly five years, and he's gone, and that's all you have to say, Eliza?" Her voice had escalated in volume until she was screaming at the walls.

Jane picked up the closest thing to her, a Data-pad, and flung it at one of the wall speakers nearby. The screen cracked within the metal frame, but didn't shatter.

On her knees, her head fell into her arms, "He can't have died, he would've sent a message if he thought he was going to die. This is just a diversion for him to escape without being caught. He'll be home soon," The Heroine of Elysium whispered, reassuring herself.

"I'm sorry, Jane. I wish it weren't true," Eliza's words finally broke Lieutenant Shepard.

Tears fell past cheeks in rivulets, breaths heaving through burning lungs. Gasps desperate for more air, muscles contracting and relaxing with each cry. Jane laid in her bed, in the midst of a smoky pine scent, tear-stained sketches of Taetrus' native life, and a Turian-shaped hole.

* * *

A noise from the hall had woken up Jane. She had fallen asleep crying for the umpteenth time. Her hand felt for the drawer by her side of the bed, but the heavy pistol she normally hid there was gone. Her heart raced.  _Who could it be?_

Steps. Light and Quiet.

They stopped at the bedroom door. Her muscles were frozen in place as she stopped her breath. The door slid open to reveal a large frame. A  _very familiar_  frame.

Her spirit soared from the depths of darkness it had dwelled in moments before, touching the limits of the sky within seconds. Her feet found their way to the floor and crossed it before her mind understood what lay before her.

Her love was alive.

He was  _alive_.

It was a miracle. Fingers traced corded muscles in a well-rehearsed motion, and talons brushed curves that had been memorized long ago. Hot emeralds, brimming with tears, met a pair of bright skies.

"I knew you would be back, I just knew you couldn't be gone," Her whispers were soft and rough from too many cries.

"I could never leave you, Jane," She reveled in his voice.

Seconds ticked by before they both took further action.

Five-fingers were deft in removing his scorched midnight armor, revealing piece by piece, beautiful gunmetal-hued plating and supple skin that hid between those dark angles. Her fingertips took their time tracing the white flames that licked their way up his cheek-plates and fringe. Jane took the liberty of letting her tongue follow the flames up his face. Like a moth to a flame, she relished the feeling of his heat soaking into her skin, scorching the edges of her soul. He woke her sleeping muscles, he woke up her spirit.

Talons stripped her of the Naval-issued sleep shorts and simple grey tank-top that Jane wore. His touch set her skin ablaze, angry red lines from his grip seared into her mind. She memorized his touch as he picked her up and pushed her against the wall. A pair of powerful waves crashing against one another at high tide.

Covering her mouth with his own, Tiberus kissed Jane passionately. Desire shot through Jane as rough angles pressed into her pliant skin. She was stuck between an unrelenting cold wall of metal, and an overheating, force of Turian. The thought of it made Jane's lower stomach roll in pleasure, and she arched into Tiberus' form.

He immediately pulled her into his arms, supporting her easily.

A few steps and they tumbled onto the bed. Just before Jane's head hit the pillow, she could feel Tiberus' talon slip behind it to make sure she didn't fall too roughly.

* * *

Bright green irises opened, her body lurching into the air, hands scrambling over the sheets. Breathing heavy, her eyes searched in the dark for a Turian form that wasn't there. Breathing became harder, her body leaving the bed to examine the apartment. She was in pursuit of her lover; she knew he had been with her only moments ago. Jane wandered the memorized floor plan in the dark.

_Perhaps Tiberus had gone to the bathroom._

_He was hungry and he went to the kitchen._

_Tiberus needed to put his weaponry away in the front closet._

_He needed some fresh air and went out to the balcony._

_The Turian wanted some alone time and went to sit in the living room._

Reaching the bedroom once more, Jane stopped at Tiberus' desk. Her hand idly crept over the papers that she had strewn over the once-spotless work station. They were all doodles of her missing Turian. Her eyes hardened and she pushed them away from her, returning to the bed.

Her eyes wandered over to her drawer, and an unsteady hand slowly slid it open.

There laid her M-3 Predator.

A sob escaped her. Fingers slammed the drawer shut. The cold sheets stung her skin. Pinpricks formed on her skin, and she longed for the fiery figure that haunted her dreams. Her mind simply couldn't comprehend that the one she had loved most, was gone forever.

_My dreams are filled with pleasantries that make me think that you're here with me._

"Why? Why me? Haven't I given up enough?" Jane whispered out loud. A quiet rage had entered her soul.

Death had already claimed her mother, her father, her brother. Death had taken her childhood from her and thrust her into the violence of War. Death had forced her to claim more lives for it. Doesn't Misery love company? Death sure did. The loss of life that had surrounded Jane Shepard since Mindoir was astonishing.

Every soul from her colony weighed down on her. Every form that had fallen on Elysium pressed into her mind. The smell of blood was more familiar than the smell of her soap, the heat of a gun more frequent than the heat of a lover's touch. She was a child of Death, forged in battle and the product of bloodshed. Her muscles were better acquainted with combat than with peace.

Her body was created for warfare, why not her mind? It was simply another battlefield that Jane had failed to account casualties for.

"Haven't I already lost enough?! Do I have to lose everything that means something to me?" Her voice cracked, her throat constricting her breaths. "What else do you want from me? Take it all, I have nothing left to live for!"

The keening sound that was forced between her lips was more Turian than Human. She felt as if her heart were torn in half. A bleeding and broken half lay inside her, the other half lost to the frigid space between the stars. The one, who had filled her up to the brim, now left her bare and empty.

The pillow that laid next to hers for years, vacant. White knuckles gripped it, and she pressed it painfully against her face. Her cheeks were pushed flat, the fabric suffocating her.

_I thought I was fine, but it looks as if…_

_I might not make it through the night._

_Please save me from waking up tonight, because I toss and I turn and it doesn't feel right._

_Please…_

_Save me from waking up tonight._

Jane Shepard's heart was well and truly broken.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> There are lyrics within this chapter from a song by Julia Nunes. If you're curious to listen to it, the song is called 'First Impressions'.


	10. Nothing Here to Hold Onto

She put the bottle to her lips, draining its contents completely.

She felt light, the pain had lessened.  _But only slightly._

Heavy-lidded eyes struggled to stay open, and she dropped the bottle off the side of her bed, the bed that was meant for more than one. Her lungs had stopped heaving long ago, the cries had left her throat raw and silent, but her mind had kept her awake.

_She begged for the Spirits to bring him back, to take her instead of him. A Heroine of Millions must be worth something, right? Her soul is priceless, it could bring him back. It was more than a fair trade. A life for a life. It would bring him back._

It hadn't.

No matter the pleading, no matter how much she wished it to be true, Jane Shepard was not able to bring Tiberus Oraka back to her.

That was when she found solace at the bottom of empty wine bottles. They sang to her as she drank, filling her. They wouldn't last forever, the liquids only numbing her pain, only giving her a temporary courage to face the day. Each night, she would return to their siren calls. _Thessian Chardonnay. Serrice Brandy. Skyllian Merlot. Cheap Terra Nova Scotch._

They would draw her in and her lips would wrap around their necks, feasting on the sweet nectar that gave her mind a chance to stop aching. Her body would calm, easing the sobs to a manageable moan that only erupted every so often. Her mind would slow, and Shepard would be able to fall into an inebriated slumber.

This night was no different.

Jane had come home from a day-long journey from Eden Prime. The military meetings were winding down, less in-her-face questions, less praise, less attention. More time to mull over the loss that shined in her eyes when she looked into another face. She was sure that the other officers' saw it, that undeniable sadness that pervaded her being.

Sure, Jane was still smiling and upbeat with every answer, but the smile and tempo were different. It was almost as if she didn't care what her answer was; just that she did it with a jovial attitude and a nod to her superiors. Jane was simply going through the motions, an autonomous machine.

Her eyes gave away most of it. They were always glimmering with unshed tears, always pinched at the sides, holding back the hurt the Heroine of Elysium felt on a day-to-day basis.

Not a soul had inquired about it, caught unawares by the sight of the melancholy lieutenant. She was thankful for that singular saving grace. At least the reporters had enough smarts to leave her alone about the subject. It made things easier and harder.

If someone would ask her what was wrong, Jane would have spilled. She had grieved  _so much_ ; releasing the weight of her depression onto a listening ear would have relieved her of much stress. However, Shepard thought the best idea was for her to simply bottle it up; she didn't want to trouble anyone else with her painful secrets.

On Eden Prime, Shepard had hoped to see Amber Damara, her long-time friend and the only other being who knew about her relationship. Amber would have known what had happened to Tiberus, but Jane was shocked that Amber had yet to send message to her in condolence. It was a downright startling notion that the blonde biotic was inconsiderate.

Shepard had expected to see her on Eden Prime, because she had shore leave, and Shepard had sent her a message about the Naval Assembly that was taking place there. It would have been the opportune time for the two of them to catch up, and for Shepard to finally release some of the tension that had been built up from Tiberus' death.

Shepard had left disappointed.

Now she lay in bed, not paying a strand of attention to Eliza, whom had been eerily silent the entire night. Shepard had finished off her second bottle of merlot, and the room was spinning in a slow pirouette. Her vision was fuzzy as if someone had thrown gauze over her eyes. Eyelids began to flutter closed.

In the fog of her mind, Shepard saw a figure open the door to the bedroom. Apathy washed over her as she shifted away from the harsh light now filtering into the dark room. Tiberus always haunted her dreams, but the fact that he was standing in her doorway meant that Shepard had gone a little too far with the drinking that night.

"T-Tiberus… go'way…" Jane slurred, muffled by the pillow she was shoving into her face to keep the light from her eyes.

* * *

Before Shepard succumbed to sleep, the figure closed the door, sending the room into obscurity once more.

A shard of light pierced the room slowly, as the sun rose and slid past the curtains. It warmed the covers where Elysium's heroine fitfully slept, an uncomfortable heat seeping into her muscles and waking her.

Eyes fluttered open.

They glare at the slightly open curtains.

_Had she opened them?_

Jane attempted to will them to close, the light penetrating her sensitive irises. She cursed herself for indulging in human decorum instead of installing sleek, mechanical shutters. A lean and muscled arm slung the covers away from her, body sighing in relief from the cool air. Glancing at her nightstand where her Omni-tool lay, Shepard noticed some new items set carefully upon the smooth surface by her bed.

_A cylinder and two small spheres._

_A tall cylindrical tube and two white marbles._

_A tall glass and two pills._

_**Hallelujah** _ _._

_A glass of water and aspirin._

Hazy eyes and a hungover mind took slightly longer than normal to realize what the objects were. She picked up the pills and popped them into her mouth, taking a sip of water to wash them down. After setting the glass back onto her stand, Shepard froze. It had taken her mind a few more moments to process that it hadn't been her to put that there.

Her thoughts were thrown into overdrive as the Redhead soundlessly opened her bedside drawer and withdrew her Carnifex. It held a fresh thermal clip, Jane just prayed that those pills had been aspirin and not some sort of drug.  _It would be just my luck._

Letting the Carnifex sit beside her for a few seconds, Shepard slid her Omni-tool onto her left arm. Feet soundlessly hit the floor, long legs and a slim torso covered only by navy shorts and a grey tank top. Jane noted there weren't any wine bottles by the bed, when, by her last count, there had been ten.  _Someone took the trash out after breaking and entering into my home, how nice._

Just as she had crept to the door, Jane's left hand reached out with her Omni-tool.

Before small finger-tips could cascade over the Holo-pad however, the door slid open and Jane let out a very un-characteristic, very girlish scream.

"I didn't know Lieutenant Shepard could let out a scream like that, I should've had my Omni-tool set to recording," The blonde-haired, honey-eyed woman said.

"…I-I was startled, that's all," Jane retorted defensively.

Silence chased after her words, seconds ticking by.

A smile peeked out from the lips of the blonde. Shepard fought to keep a smirk from making it's way into her expression.

Seconds later, the two women were bursting into laughter.

"Well I'll be damned, if it isn't my favorite Ensign of the Third Fleet!" Shepard hugged Amber tightly, clicking the safety on her pistol.

"Shep, I didn't expect you to be so peppy first thing in the morning, 'specially after everything you downed last night," Amber chuckled.

"Seeing you has definitely brightened my month," Shepard responded, her tone descending from its happy origins.

"I tried so hard to get a message to you to let you know I was coming, but I guess the Alliance has been seriously filtering your mail since the Blitz. You're a big hero now, leaving little old me in the dust," Amber commented playfully as she retreated out of the hallway and back into the common area. "A nice place you've got here, Shep,"

"Thanks, Amber," Shepard followed the younger woman into the living room, noting a pair of small duffel bags by the couch. "Thanks so much for coming, it really means a lot to me," Her eyes began to fill with tears. Her hands began to shake and she clasped them together to keep the action hidden.

Amber turned to her and a sympathetic expression had crossed the younger officer's face. "Shepard, I couldn't just leave you here, all alone. We girls have to stick together,"

Amber hadn't changed much since Shepard had seen her. She'd been classified as an Adept on the SSV Nairobi, but maintained an Ensign rank. The starship had never seen combat, and Shepard was thankful for that. There were a few differences in Amber, her hair was slightly darker, and her skin had gotten tanner with increased time planet side, but Ensign Damara was still the thoughtful and considerate friend that Shepard had left on Terra Nova.

The younger woman slid her arms around Shepard, giving her another reassuring hug. Shepard sagged into the embrace, and Amber whispered to her, "I'm so sorry about Tiberus, Jane. You'll get through this. I'll make sure of it,"

That moment was when Jane finally cracked. Everything that Shepard was, shattered into a million, fragmented pieces on the floor of the apartment.

* * *

Jane told Amber the whole story. She didn't just talk about the time before Tiberus died. Shepard talked about the times they had at BAaT, every shore-leave she shared with the dark Turian, the moment she realized she loved Tiberus, and everything up to the moment Amber had walked in the door.

It took days.

Some mornings, while talking, Shepard would break down. Other moments she would remember with a soft smile. A few nights it seemed as if nothing was wrong in Shepard's world. Amber could swear that she saw the sadness leave Shepard's eyes in those few instants.

Each day, Shepard felt lighter.

Each moment divulged, another dead part that Jane clung to, fell away. Her chest heaved, ruined remnants shed from her clothes. Her shoulders shuddered, but with each shudder, they lifted a tiny bit higher.

Jane was getting better, little by little.

Much to Shepard's chagrin, Amber was only able to stay a week. The days flew by quickly, and the moment that the blonde woman left the apartment, Shepard felt the loneliness and depression begin to creep back into her soul.

Shepard had stopped buying alcohol, at least.

* * *

The water rained upon her skin in a searing heat, just the way he liked it. Her fingers, much smaller than his, traced her scars just as he had each night they shared the shower. The worst part of him being gone had to deal with the closeness and intimacy being completely absent. There was no one to whisper to her at night, no one to hug her curves the way she liked.

Turning the valve to 'off', she stepped out of the shower stall. The room was misty and humid, and she drew a solitary line on the mirror. The new line sat beside identical lines that she had drawn each night after her shower. The tallies stood silently, Sentinels awaiting Tiberus' arrival as anxiously as Shepard.

"Jane, there is a report on the Vallum Nightly News that may interest you," Eliza announced as Shepard toweled off.

"What is it, ten boring steps to becoming a better soldier?" Shepard joked with the AI.

"-It's about Tiberus' Cabal,"

_Momentary silence._

"Turn it on,"

Shepard slipped one towel around her, using a smaller one to dry her hair. Making her way into the bedroom, Eliza had switched the large Luma-gel monitor on that sat across from the bed. Shepard sat at the foot of the bed, rubbing her head while she fixated her jade irises upon the screen.

A female Turian with silvery plates and delicate lavender markings stood to the right of a screen that was projecting stats. Shepard had once found Turian news to be hilarious, the anchors were more like marines, there were no weather or sports forecasts, and everything was serious and militaristic. Now she just found it droll and full of heartache.

" _-the Valiant was sent into a large Blue Suns base with a small troop of Cabals to investigate large shipments of contraband that have been making their way to the Mactare System. The Hierarchy lost contact with the Cabal over a month ago. As with protocol, the Hierarchy declared every member of the Cabal MIA until contact is reestablished or the Cabal is found,"_

The stats that were scrolling beside the Turian female were the names and ranks of the missing. Her professional monotone only made Jane's heart clench painfully.  _How can they act so nonchalant about everything?_

" _We will keep you up to date with these missions. Whenever new coverage becomes available, be sure that-" Pzzt._

The screen went black as the power was cut. Shepard had manually turned it off with her Omni-tool. The Alliance lieutenant had grown disquieted while watching the Turian woman. It perturbed Shepard that the Hierarchy could have such a strict and unforgiving protocol for its soldiers.

"Jane, do you understand what this means?" Eliza seemed hesitant. At least, as hesitant as an AI can sound.

"Enlighten me, Eliza,"

"Concurrent Hierarchy protocol is that after two months of non-communication between a deployed troop and their superiors, those declared MIA have their belongings shipped off to the next of kin. In two weeks, Jane, they will come and take everything that is Tiberus' from the apartment, and they will shut everything off. They don't know you live here, and I don't believe you want them to know that," The synthetic words floated on the air like frost.

Shepard shivered. "We can't let them know I'm here, the Alliance thinks I'm somewhere on Elysium,"

"Jane… we have to leave here,"

The dark was no comfort to Shepard as she lay on the bed made for two. Her eyes stared out the solitary window that was blanketed in midnight and stars. "I know, 'Liza,"

"You'll have to disconnect me and power down my main core, I'll send detailed instructions on how to…" The AI stopped herself. "We'll go over everything in the morning, Jane," Her synthetic timbre was quieter than usual.

"We'll go over everything in the morning, I promise," Jane responded, her own voice more hollowed than Eliza's.

Her feet pushed against the sheets, sliding her body up to where the pillows nestled at the headboard. Slim fingers pushed red strands out of her face, and Jane laid her head upon the cool fabric. Dark clouds rolled into view of the window, angry and full. Far off in the distance, she could hear the rolls of thunder.

Emeralds shone glittering in the dark, her mind racing. It hit her all at once. She would have to say goodbye to his side of the bed. She would bid adieu to his collection of ancient Turian weaponry. She would forsake his clothes that would stay pressed just as they were, full of his scent. She would leave his food in the cabinets and fridge; it would pine away for him just as she had.

Shepard would take nothing that reminded her of that dark, biotic Turian.

She would burn the sketches that she'd drawn late at night while watching him sleep, when nightmares had kept her alert. It would deaden the pain, and perhaps one day, wash away his face from her memory.

One day she would forget the white flames that surrounded bright azure eyes. One day the pain would be so far gone, Shepard would forget what it felt like at all.

She could hope.

* * *

Shepard had lied to herself. She was sitting in her new apartment. Jane had gotten a transport courtesy of an Asari Matron Merchant that happened to stop at Taetrus. The ride from Taetrus to Elysium had been one giant pity-party, all for Jane Shepard. She had not said goodbye to a single thing within the apartment. Shepard had pretended that it was a simple move.

She had packed up four boxes: her weapons with her armor, her clothes, her necessities and her books with her art supplies. She had dressed in dusky, form-fitting pants, a grey tank and a black hoodie that effectively hid her hair and face from view.

Then she had followed Eliza's very specific instructions on how to shut her main processing core down completely and disconnect it from the apartment's frame network. Cut the breaker to the power in apartment, then short the green wire first, then the adjacent blue wire, and finally snip the red wire. It had been mind-numbing at worst and harrowing at best. The moments after she had turned Eliza off, Shepard held her breath.

She had faith in her technical prowess, but what if Eliza didn't come back?

Once she had loaded that tiny stack of belongings onto the Asari freighter that was taking her to Elysium, Shepard had been taken to her onboard room. Those three days she had finally let herself mourn everything that she was losing, the home she worked to build, the new life she would have to start over, and the only one who had truly ever helped her forget her haunting past.

This new place, where Shepard would dwell until the stars called her to space once more, was nondescript and desolate. When the government of Elysium had imparted it to her, they had left most of it bare, only having shelves and technology in place.

It was bigger than her last place. That only added to the solitude Shepard felt, sitting in the middle of her empty living room.

The walls were white with loneliness, not even a mark upon them where frames and décor had hung before. The black, glossy shelves were empty, yet full of melancholy. Both bedrooms had large, queen-sized beds, but the mattresses were as bare and clean as a hospital's. The shared bathroom was huge by Shepard's standards, two sinks settled into a long counter, a shower stall, a private water closet, and a luxurious bathtub that she knew only humans were known to use. Yet, even these inviting amenities were overshadowed by the fact that she would never need two bedrooms or two sinks.

However, windows held views that were unspeakably beautiful. They looked out over the wealthier districts of Elysium, and Shepard was thankful for that. The planet was full of life, thanks to her, and she was glad that there was one shining light in her life. There was also a window-like door that slide open to a small terrace, where Shepard could imagine herself sketching people as they walked past. That would be a nice hobby.

Her brain was trying to make her realize that moving wasn't such a horrible idea. This could help her turn a new leaf. She could put things upon those empty shelves, fill them with her life. She could cover the walls in sketches or photos, whatever she desired. Bright green eyes lit up with ideas of what sheets to buy and what to paint the walls. She could always ask Amber if she wanted another place to stay other than with her dad.

_There you go, think positive, Jane._

Shepard stood up, finally feeling strength return to her legs and arms, and began moving boxes to their rooms. With each box she moved, the stronger her resolve became. Shepard began to measure windows and wall space, consider what furniture she would need, what she wanted to put on the walls. Before she knew it, the boxes were put in their desired rooms and there was only one thing left to do.

Activate Eliza.

This apartment was much more advanced in technology than the one on Taetrus, whether because it was newer or from different technology, Shepard had no idea. Eliza's AI core was split up into three separate housing units. The Heroine of Elysium handled them as if they were her children whilst she carried them into the walk-in closet.

Setting them up, she hooked them into the apartment's monitoring and speaker systems, which didn't take nearly as long as Shepard thought. She knelt to the floor to begin re-establishing a connection.

_Just reverse what you did a few days ago, should be a breeze._

_Right._

As Shepard finished completing the last few connections, she took a deep breath as her Omni-Tool connected with the core and powered it up. Flashing lights on the machinery were always a good sign, at least to Shepard.

_Nano-seconds turned into seconds._

_Seconds turned into minutes._

_When a few minutes turned into ten minutes, Shepard began to panic._

_What if she had connected something wrong? What if Eliza was no longer aware, but simply a Virtual intelligence? Did that count as murder?_

"I knew you could do it," Eliza's smooth, dulcet tones flowed from the speakers in a beautiful volume. Shepard's shoulders sagged as they released tension, her body nearly buckling to the floor.

"Welcome home, Eliza," Jane forced out a raspy whisper, her throat thick with tears of relief. Had she been holding her breath? Shepard felt as if she had just run a marathon.

"Welcome home, Jane,"

* * *

The first few weeks had been a slow recovery to getting back in sync. Shepard still had a few meetings to go to, even though they were scheduled with more and more relaxing time in-between. However, Shepard was falling in love with Elysium.

There was so much do, local events happening in her district were nearly every night. The people were friendly and amazing, from all walks of life. Most of the people in her building were Asari and Human, but there were some Salarian and Turian, and even a few Volus. Elysium was truly a melting pot of culture and mercantilism.

Each day that passed by, Shepard fell more in love with the planet, and began dreading those days she had to be in space. It took her by surprise one day, when she was walking on her way home. She realized that those weeks that she was able to simply live planet-side, like a normal person, without the military pressure and reputation, were the best in her life. While in Elysium, she could simply be Jane.

Within the same moments, Jane yearned for the possibility of becoming a civilian forever, not having to report for duty, never worry about whether the next mission would be her last. The bohemian bug had bitten it her, and it wasn't letting go.

The rapid transit dropped her two blocks away from her building; Jane was dressed in comfortable civvies that were Asari-designed. It was a tight, knit top in a dark blue color, and a flowing, cream-hued skirt. Her hair had grown, blazing bangs skimming the tops of her eyes, her hands carrying a sketchpad, a pair of pencils stuck in her hair.

While making her way back the apartment, a shop with large windows caught her eye. She hadn't noticed it before, but there were always new things that Shepard noticed even after going the same path dozens of times before.

Inside the gleaming glass, there were large white canvases, real-wood shelves full of paints and brushes, pencils and pens. The walls were painted in a rainbow of Art-Deco that had been popular long ago on Earth. It drew Shepard in like a moth to a flame.

Above the door she entered, the sign read, "Cheap Joe's Art Stuff"


	11. I'm Only Getting Started

Standing in front of a large, blank canvas, she stood and thought.

There weren't thoughts of sweeping phthalo blue, stripes of bright ochre lining the white or a sunset of fading crimson taking form. Mental sceneries, ghostly figures and shadows of history were strangely absent from the wash of white fabric. There were more urgent matters occupying her mind.

Jane had quit the Alliance.  _Well, not exactly._

Shepard hadn't sent in a formal resignation, but she had decided that she wouldn't be going back. She would settle down on Elysium and attempt to live as normal a life as one could, being the Heroine of Elysium.

Surprisingly, that meant that it was rather easy to blend into the crowd, even after months of media overexposure.

Mindoir had helped her decide in this quiet rebellion.

Mindoir had been the last planet where a Military Assembly had taken place. Memories of her ruined homeworld haunted her from the moment the note had entered her extranet message terminal. All she could think of were eyes, dead and dark, staring at her face, blemishing that far too young face with a streak of death.

_The eyes were all staring at her._

_Her mother's._

_Her father's._

_The Batarians'._

_Her brother's._

_Her friends'._

Lifeless eyes peered up at her from the depths of her mind whenever her mind fluttered back to Mindoir.

She had been hesitant to return to her home planet, but Hackett had encouraged her, saying that the new colonists were making strides to rebuilding Mindoir to its former glory. Jane had become curious to see what the new Mindoir colony looked like, and exactly what it was like now. After all, it had been nearly seven years since Shepard had left.

* * *

Hackett could not have been more wrong. Ever since the assault on Mindoir, other Batarian raids, and coupled with the Skyllian Blitz, colonist immigration was at an all-time low. People were afraid to leave their home worlds and pioneer forth into the space filled with pirates and slavers. There was little rebuilt from what Shepard could see.

Crumbled ruins still lay at the feet of new steel monoliths, a horrible reincarnation gone awry. There were footprints of destruction where the rebuilding was taking place, a cold reminder of what could happen to the future generations. Perhaps that's why reconstruction was taking so long, colonists were afraid that once they were finished, the next swathe of hostiles would simply make them another statistic.

The colonists did nothing to remind Shepard of her old friends and neighbors from long ago. They were quiet, solemn, gazing at her with eyes full of reverence and fear. They knew that whoever had survived the wreckage of Mindoir was a creature to be feared. She couldn't bear their eyes, so full and alive. So unlike the ghosts, lifeless but unforgettable, that chased her footsteps as she walked through rubble and dirt.

At least it still smelled the same. The fire and smoke couldn't stomp out that clean smell of earth and rain that penetrated Shepard's soul. Yet, even with that familiar scent filling the air, her stomach turned.

Truly,  _nothing was the same_.

Shepard made a speech; that was the only thing she was good for nowadays. Or, that's how she felt the Alliance Systems were treating her, a trophy to be sat upon a pedestal. She had rehearsed this same speech so many times before, in front of crowds just like this one. However, her mind and eyes were settled upon the landscape, her sight filled with the moments when she was younger. Her lips moved, and they were awe-inspiring to the crowd, but to Shepard's ears, they were the screams of a sixteen-year-old girl finding her parents dead. Her hands waved to the crowd as she finished the speech, but in her thoughts, she was sending biotic shocks into the killers of her family.

Shepard had become two people after leaving Mindoir that day. One was forever lost to the Batarians that had stolen her family, the other was a strong, self-willed biotic that swore she would be prepared the next time.

Stepping back onto the shuttle after the assembly, Shepard's shoulders sagged. Her face became buried in her hands, and she shook. Bright emeralds never once lifted to gaze upon the rapidly shrinking planet.

* * *

The return from Mindoir had been eye-opening. No matter how many lives she saved, she would never be able to bring back her friends, her family, her lover. The idea that her being a part of the Military could truly change things was a foolish thought indeed. Sure, she saved Elysium, but what would happen the next time slavers came? The people of Elysium were just as oblivious to the outside world as before. It was only when things became dire, or when help came too late, that anyone paid attention.

_She dipped the brush in a deep, lush hue, as emerald as her eyes. The slick horsehairs sent the curves of hills over the bottom half of the painting._

What scared Shepard-more than leaving the Alliance-was the fact that the heartache that had been so overwhelming, so immeasurably intense, was lessening by the day. Her loss of Tiberus was loosening its grip on her heart. She felt a deep sense of dread each day the pain diminished. Time heals all wounds, whether you want it to or not.

_She blanketed the sky in a dusky indigo, letting the sun fall far beyond the horizon. A poignant brush dotted celestial formations into being, smiling as the sight became familiar._

She clung to those fading memories of him. His gunmetal plates, the white flames that slithered over his cheeks and fringe, cutting sharply around bright sapphires. She could remember his voice, low and flanging, her skin prickled at simply the thought of him. Yet, what if one day she didn't feel the pain at all? What if she simply forgot?

Shepard decided she needed a reminder.

* * *

"Jane, are you sure you want to do this?" The synthetic-yet-melodic tones of the AI questioned.

"For the thousandth time Eliza, I'm sure," Jane was typing away at her terminal.

"In times of distress or grieving, organics are known to act irrational,"

"-Liza… I'm not acting  _irrational_! I want to do this," She huffed. Her typing stopped as information filled her screen, multiple locations nearby that were all highly rated. "So, either help me out or be quiet, you can't change my mind,"

"All of these locations have excellent reviews, however Candat Tattoo Parlor is known for being lenient on how they receive credits, you could probably get one there without having to give your real name," The AI conceded, although Shepard could've swore she sounded like a mother chastising her daughter for doing something foolish.

"Candat Tattoo it is, then. Thank you, Eliza," Shepard uploaded the coordinates from the terminal to her Omni-tool and picked up her bag. "I'll be back soon,"

"You're welcome, Jane,"

* * *

Candat Tattoo was very unlike what Shepard had pictured. To be honest, Shepard wasn't sure what she expected. A bunch of Krogans dressed in leather? She had expected it to be at least _slightly_  intimidating. It was a tattoo shop, after all.

The entire place was well lit, open space. The lobby was only separated from the work area by partial waist-height partitions and a front desk. The furniture was all contemporary style, square edges and minimalist. The one thing that let you know it was even a tattoo parlor was the wall art. They were covered in drawings, paintings, sketches of tattoos.

There was one thing that stood out to Jane on the walls. Certain frames held covers in them, fully colored, some holographic. They were comics. Graphic novels on  _Nefrane the Asari Justicar_  and  _Blasto the Hanar Spectre,_ along with heroes that were more familiar to Shepard, like Spiderman and Batman. She'd always been found of Batman in particular, a dark vigilante without adhering to regulations. Her father had let her read every digital edition of The Dark Knight when she was just a little thing. The covers so carefully frame hit Shepard with a wave of nostalgia.

A friendly looking Asari sat at the desk, and Shepard noted the artwork upon the woman's blue skin with appreciation.

"Welcome to Candat Tattoo, what can I help you with today?" The blue woman's voice was soft, nothing out of the ordinary for an Asari. She seemed normal except for the extreme amount of black ink that decorated the azure canvas made up of her arms and shoulders.

"I'd like to have some work done, if anyone is available now," Shepard sounded sure of herself, and pulled out a chip with a very sizable amount of credits on it.

"Why, of course miss…?" The woman inclined her head towards Shepard.

"Damara, Amber Damara,"  _Hopefully that lie won't bite me in the ass._

"Well, Miss Damara, you can follow me this way. I'll make sure that Bor takes care of you," Shepard followed the woman past the partitions and to the work area where she was told to wait for 'Bor'.

Bor ended up being a very vibrantly colored Drell. He was made up of blues, greens and violets, his eyes being a striking deep green that were akin to Jane's. Bor didn't appear to have any tattoos, but he had the piercings to make up for it. His lower lip was pierced twice on the right side, a piercing in each brow, even some on the edges of his frill that curved his profile.

Shepard could see her reflection within the large irises of the colorful Drell. "Borivali Pada, at your service. What can I do for you…" He motioned for her to sit in a high-backed, black leather chair. His voice was rough, textured; it sent delicious shivers down Jane's spine. It was almost like a smoker's voice.

"Amber Damara," Shepard supplied the lie again, easily this time.

"Well, Amber. Did you have something in mind, or did you want to see some of my work?" The pthalo receptionist left to return to the front desk. Shepard nodded her head, and activated her Omni-tool. She pulled up an image that she had created earlier in the week.

"I want something like this, on my right shoulder. Almost like a band, but it doesn't go completely around my arm, does that make sense?" Shepard looked up at him hopefully.

"For you, Amber? I'd do anything for that sweet face of yours," The drell remarked.

Jane beamed, and shrugged off her black hoodie to reveal pale,  _pale_ ,  _paler_  skin with small freckles that skirted over her forearms and shoulders. There were a few scars that she smiled at when her eyes fell on them, but they were nearly invisible from age.

"Amber, don't tell me a fox like you is a virgin," Bor remarked, his large irises taking in the expanse of her skin. His tone was flirtatious but joking.

"Definitely, this is my first time," Shepard's voice fell into dulcet tones, "You promise you'll be gentle? This being my first time and all," She fell into an easy tête-à-tête with the drell as he examined her right arm, just above her bicep.

Shepard had never seen a drell up close before; she'd only seen them occasionally while searching on the extranet and sometimes when she was in a busier part of Elysium. She took note of how his two middle fingers were fused together, and how his skin wasn't exactly flesh like hers, but taut and made of small scales.

Borivali let go of her arm, and began to sketch the image she had asked to have put on her. The picture that Shepard had created on her Omni-tool using an imaging program was akin to an armband. The ocean-hued drell left her side for a moment, returning with two inks, a navy blue and a pearlescent white, and returned to her side.

"Now, you're sure about this, Amber? Once we start, there's no going back," The artist had focused his jade gaze onto Shepard's, and she nodded.

"I'm… it's a reminder for me. I've been through a lot and both of these things mean a lot to me. This way, I never truly have to let them go," Her voice was resolute.

He nodded and cleaned her arm. He activated her Omni-tool once more, sending the picture to his transfer printer and making a temporary tattoo of the armband. It was just the outline in simple blue ink.

Bor, with his hand of blue and violet, had Shepard rest her front against the high-back of the midnight chair, her arm settled comfortably into the drell's strong hands. He applied the transfer to her skin easily, and showed Jane where he had positioned it. Holding up a mirror to her, she smiled and nodded.

"Perfect,"

"Then let's begin. You may feel a little stinging, but let me know if you need to take a break," His voice was more than soothing, that sexy burr in Bor's words slinked over her skin and Shepard rested easy as she readied herself for the needle.

"Just relax, I will take care of you, Amber," Borivali turned his needle on, and dipped it into the white ink. The buzz of his needle made endorphins rush through the Heroine's veins, her pupils watching him intently. Bor gently rubbed Shepard's forearm in silent assurance.

Then the needle touched her skin.

It was nothing like Shepard expected. It hurt, yes, but not nearly what she normally endured in the field. She had been nervous when she sat down, but the needle's pricking was tolerable. After a few moments, the needle lifted away from her skin, and Jane met Bor's eyes.

"Doing okay so far?" He asked.

"So far, so good,"

He dipped his violet head down once more, intently working in long sweeps. The white would dance slowly upon her skin. His fused fingers on his free hand would occasionally wipe across her skin with a clean, dry wipe and remove the excess ink, and he would continue. Shepard became mesmerized with how the ink sank beneath her skin and became part of her.

After half an hour, he finished the white, a blaze across her arm. He turned off the machine and switched out the white-stained needle for a fresh one.

"Do you want to take a break for a moment?" The drell pulled Shepard out of her reverie with his soft words and smile.

"I feel fine, let's keep on keeping on," Shepard replied, smirking.

"I knew you were stronger than you looked, Amber. I could tell the moment I laid eyes on you," His thumb slid across one of her scars as he grasped her arm.

Shepard turned her face away from his gaze, only reminding herself of the past she was leaving behind. After a few silent moments, Bor began again, this time with that deep indigo that was far more remarkable upon the redhead's skin than the iridescent white.

Choosing to change the subject, Shepard spoke, "You have a lot of graphic novels on the walls. Especially of the tangible kind, where'd the shop get them all?"

Borivali didn't look up from his handiwork, but responded. "The shop owner, he's a human, and I guess he's always been obsessed with comic books. I mean it when I say obsessed, every tattoo he has is inspired by a superhero or some fantasy world out of his favorite editions,"

Shepard could feel this warm breath on her arm as Bor meticulously inked her, large eyes intense. "There's a used book store in this district, 'Heroes Aren't Hard to Find' is actually the name of the place. It's run by a Salarian of all people," The drell gave a deep, soft chuckle.

"What's so funny about that?" Shepard had her cheek resting against the high back of the chair, her face tilted, quizzical.

"I simply believed that most Salarians thirst for knowledge, mostly in the science and medical world. He must be a strange lizard to be interested in nearly obsolete technology. Not to say that Salarian's aren't bookworms, I'm sure there are plenty in the galaxy,"

"I'll have to check it out; I had quite the collection back home,"

And with those words, the needle pulled away from her skin for the final time.

"There we are," Borivali took a moment to take in his simple masterpiece. It was flames of white, with two navy stripes that cut through the shimmering tendrils. The white was barely noticeable on her skin, which is what she had intended. For Tiberus. Whereas the dark blue stripes were stark against her figure, her Lieutenant Insignia encircling her arm. For the Alliance.

He took her hand in his, and led her to a full-length mirror. Shepard leaned towards the mirror, and smiled at the artistry that would forever be painted upon her skin. "It's perfect, Bor. Thank you so much,"

"The pleasure is all mine, Amber," The drell had cleaned the skin as much as he could, and began to cover the ink with a gel-like substance that was nearly just like medi-gel, only clear instead of a translucent blue. His hands then set a bandage over the gel, sealing it in place on her arm. "This will help it heal faster, leave this bandage on the first two days. After that, it should be nearly healed, but be careful not to scrub the tattooed area for a week. You want to make sure to preserve the ink well these first few days,"

"Thank you, Borivali. I won't forget this special time together," Shepard teased him. "You really did make my first time great," Jane gave him a dazzling smile.

"Just remember who did it so well, Miss Damara," His silken words caressed her. Who knew drells had such incredibly sexy voices? "Please come see me again, Amber,"

She nodded and took her leave, giving the Asari at the front an extra credit chip for Borivali. She wouldn't forget those few peaceful moments at the tattoo shop. Bor had made everything so easy, and she'd let the world melt away.

The problem was, everything came rushing back as soon as she stepped outside.

* * *

If she had been anyone else, Lieutenant Jane Shepard would have already been dishonorably discharged and made an example of as a deserter. However, she always managed to be the exception. Being the Heroine of Elysium always came with perks. There was nothing on the TV about her missing or going AWOL, there was nothing over the Alliance channels other than the 'cover story of the Alliance' that she was concluding her tour to military bases in order to prepare for the N-7 program. Shepard hadn't done so much as to return an extranet message to even Anderson or Hackett.

This made Shepard realize that the military would likely be searching night and day for her. They had decided that she was a valuable asset and they would attempt to find her and bring her back in at all costs.

This posed a problem.

"Eliza?"

"Jane?" The synthetic responded with the same inflection. Shepard chuckled.

"Copycat," Jane observed. She was lounging on her brand-new couch that was accompanied by a new chair. Both pieces were made of soft, brown suede, in a contemporary design. She'd begun to build a new life. There was a data-pad that her eyes had been scanning for the past few minutes, until a lightbulb went off in her mind as she read something.

"Copy-what Jane?"

"Copycat, my sweet Sentient. It's when someone mimics someone else's behavior. Anyway, we have a problem," Shepard set the data-pad to the side. "I think the Alliance is looking for me. Amber sent me a message saying that she's been questioned by her superior about my whereabouts. She didn't give up any vital information, but I think we need to take some precautions,"

"I can attempt to integrate into the Elysium Government's mainframe. If I'm able to enter in, I can delete any information I find on you, as well as implement a new persona for you to utilize as a front,"

Shepard's eyebrows had climbed up in disbelief, her breathing quiet. "You can do that?"

"I stated that I 'can attempt' to achieve this goal, I did not fully assure that I would successfully hack into the network. Elysium is well funded and well protected. Allow me a few moments and I will attempt it,"

A few moments for Eliza were 3.4 seconds to Shepard.

"I have completed the task," Shepard swore that underneath those smooth synthetics was a bit of smugness.

"You did it all? How, exactly?"

"I over-estimated exactly how well secure their networking and software information systems were. It was fairly easy to gain access with the correct algorithms," Eliza continued, " There is no record of you ever owning this apartment, and I transferred the ownership of this apartment to your new identity. I have set up the persona of an experience mercenary named Alison Gunn, she was affiliated with a few criminals in her youth, hung out with a few gangs, but has overall stayed out of the judicial system,"

"It gives the persona a background, but stays away from being associated with the Alliance. Great job, Eliza," Shepard analyzed.

"Thank you, Jane," There was definitely pride in the AI's voice there.

"Can I ask one question, though? Why make me into a mercenary? Why not a merchant or colonist?" The Heroine of Elysium was curious by nature.

"I took into account your physical appearance and combat abilities and correlated them to an appropriate career, but it was also largely affected by how I view your lifestyle choices,"

"Lifestyle choices?" Shepard was confused.

"You're a badass, Jane,"

Shepard fell off the couch in amusement, her body shaking in laughter from the surprise statement. "Eliza, where did you hear that?"

"I analyzed a genre of old vids to better understand the risks and choices that you make when on missions. There was a particular series of vids from the twentieth century on Earth that had a character that reminded me of you," Eliza explained.

"Who would that be?" Shepard couldn't wait to hear the answer.

The AI took a few seconds before answer, probably pulling the answer from her data-banks. "Officer John McClane, he countered multiple terrorist attacks,"

There was another silent fit of laughter from Shepard before she calmed herself enough to speak, "Yippee-ki-yay, Motherfucker,"

"Jane, there is one other thing,"

The seriousness of Eliza's simple statement was enough to quell the laughs that Shepard had to contain.

"What,'Liza?" Lean muscles that were sore from laughing slowly pulled her body back onto the couch. Her body stretched out beside the abandoned data-pad.

"Along with a new identity, comes a new appearance,"

Her body stiffened.

Shepard cursed lightly at the AI's words.

* * *

Damp tendrils of auburn were slick against her neck. She was wearing an old t-shirt with too many stains, belying the original color of the cloth. A pair of bright green eyes stared intently at the box as if it would relinquish the darkest secrets of space. The woman on the front of the box was smiling, happy. She had similar green eyes, but jet-black hair.

Step One. After laying out the materials, much like a chemistry set, she surveyed the objects for a moment. Jane pulled the gloves over her calloused fingers, white latex hugging her palms and covering her wrists.

Step Two. Jane sectioned off her red tresses into manageable handfuls, twisting and pinning each part into place. She covered her ears and hairline in a thick, clear lotion, for protection.

Step Three. With the precision of an alchemist, she mixed the ingredients together, shaking the bottle once she was done. Ten Minutes: Jane watched as the compound went from a clean white to a dark, darker, darkest midnight.

Step Four. Jane slowly worked the concoction through each section of her hair, massaging with her fingers, working it through with a brush. Emeralds watched as crimson was doused in black ink. She grimaced at the ammonia scent, but continued until each strand, from the tip to the root, was painted in shadow. She had dabbed some on her fiery, delicate brows as a finishing touch.

Step Five. Another Ten Minutes: While the twenty-something woman waited, she wiped the cream from her brow and neck, being sure not to bother the foul-smelling chemicals soaking her hair.

Step Six. The waiting was over and Jane stepped into the shower, old shirt and all. The water was kept cool against her scalp, and she slowly let each section fall. Gloved fingers slid through her hair, lathering up the mixture on her head. The water ran black, then grey, then clear.

Step Seven. Stepping out of the water for a moment, Jane snapped the gloves off, and grabbed the last full container on the counter. Opening it, she generously poured the conditioner over her treated hair. The smell was reminiscent of cherry blossoms, and Jane welcomed the floral aroma. It was certainly better than the chemical trace that wafted in the air. She let the conditioner set for five minutes before rinsing her hair once more.

Step Eight. She grabbed a towel from the nearby rack and rubbed it against her wet head thoroughly. Once she deemed it just dry enough to tolerate, Jane set the towel on the floor, now complete with dark streaks staining the fibers.

She pulled her t-shirt off and it dropped to the tiled floor with a loud, wet slap. She gathered the leftovers from the counter, and trashed them. Picking up both the towel and shirt, she dropped them in the laundry basket. After pulling on a grey tank and some navy shorts, her eyes finally found their way to the mirror.

Bracing the sides of the sink with her hands, Jane leaned towards the mirror, inspecting her handiwork. There was not a single strand of crimson left. Midnight covered her head as far as her eye could see. She practiced the smile of the woman on the front of her box.

The upturn of her lips felt foreign.  _See? See how happy I am? See how unafraid I am of the future?_

Perhaps tomorrow I will be familiar with the smiling stranger in the mirror. Jane took a deep breath, eyes closed, head pressed against the mirror. A sigh reverberated throughout her being, breath fogging her reflection into obscurity.

_She'd been so strong lately, but the shadows and ghosts were calling her, clawing at her mind and thoughts._

Jane pushed herself away from the mirror, away from the sink, away from the unknown woman who stared at her. She couldn't stand before this dark-haired girl that smelled of cherry blossoms, this woman that struggled to put the pieces back together, pretending that everything was okay.

Turning the lights off, Jane fled the room.

She would try again tomorrow.

_Tomorrow she'd be stronger._


	12. I Want to Settle Down

_Jane Shepard and Eliza, her AI, were having a conversation._

"What about being a Vision Clearance Engineer?"

"A window cleaner? No, thank you,"

_They were going over potential career choices for Alison Gunn, badass mercenary._

"You could be the Head of Verbal Communications at Oceanus Technologies,"

"A receptionist, really, Eliza?"

_Shepard wasn't very receptive to any of the Elysium classifieds so far._

"You could be a Transportation Special- Forget that one,"

"Wait… That one sounded slightly interesting at least,"

"Jane, I've stored the information of damage reports where you've driven the Alliance's military vehicles. Would you like me to go over the damages?"

"Shut up and go to the next one,"

_It didn't help that Eliza was attempting to make them sound slightly better by using euphemisms for the actual jobs._

"How about being a Dispatch Services Facilitator?"

"Eliza, do you see the Heroine of Elysium being a mailroom clerk?"

"Well, this isn't the Heroine of Elysium looking for a job, Jane. This is Alison Gunn, a mercenary truncated of funds,"

Shepard huffed, running a hand through her raven locks. She would never get used to how dark they were. She'd also cut them to just above her shoulder and given herself some blunt bangs. She'd never had them before, and decided to experiment.

Jane remembered why she'd never had them before.

"How about this one, Field Nourishment Consultant-"

"Eliza, you can say waitress,"

"Okay, How about being employed as a  _server_  at a nearby café. It states that the job makes an acceptable amount of money, enough for you to live off of. You could stay under the radar with most of your credits accumulated from tips," Shepard smirked at Eliza's semantics, but she nodded to herself.

"I'll check it out later today, where is the café?"

"The establishment is called Pedíon. I will send the coordinates to your Omni-tool. It's owned by a Volus,"

"Wonderful, I'm off to gather nutrients to sustain myself," Shepard imitated the AI's synthetic tones with perfect inflection.

"Copycat," Eliza retorted.

Jane's laugh could be heard outside the apartment as the door slid shut and locked with a short beep.

* * *

"Okay, so… this should be simple enough,"

Shepard regarded the counter full of food. She had gone to a Levo-Grocer and bought nearly everything in sight. She'd had to take a rapid transport home and make three trips to and from the skycar just to get everything inside.

"Is there some planet-wide emergency? Or did you want to analyze and discover exactly how much food you can accumulate within the apartment if there is an apocalypse?"

"I was hungry," Jane defended, beginning to put the food away. At least most of the food she'd bought were non-perishables or had a long-shelf life.

"By my calculations, you could live exactly three weeks and four days –Standard Galactic Time–with this amount of food, barring electrical outages. You must be extremely hungry,"

"Thank you for that ever-so-useful information, Eliza. Now I know how long I have to live in case giant robots decide to invade our planet and I need to hide," Shepard good-humoredly countered.

"Always the forward-thinker, Jane,"

The Sentinel stood back from her kitchen, which was filled to the brim with food: there were plenty of off-world grains, some she was familiar with, random canned foods, even local fruits and vegetables that Shepard had gotten out of curiosity.

"Yes… Now to figure out what I can cook with all of this," Jane said to herself.

Silence deafened the apartment.

"Jane… you've never cooked before," The AI stated plainly.

"Thank you, Eliza," Her voice was filled with exasperation, her head and arms splaying out over the counter as she stared at the food.

After a few quiet minutes, Shepard pulls up a recipe program on her Omni-tool. She scans most of the food that she bought and inventories the food into the program, calculating for a few moments before reading out the possible recipes that Shepard can make. Scrolling through them, Jane finds one that doesn't seem too terribly difficult, and sets to work.

* * *

"Jane, is that supposed to be on fire? Should I alert emergency services?" The AI's voice was slightly higher-pitched than normal, the synthetic tones trying to mimic a worried individual.

"Eliza, I'm fine. I have this under control," Jane gritted her teeth as she dumped the contents of the pan into the trash. It was the fourth time she'd had to throw something out. It was the second time something had caught on fire in the kitchen.

The kitchen and adjacent rooms were overflowing with a grey haze that settled into the air of the apartment.

There were open boxes lying on their sides, dirty dishes piling up in the sink, and various liquids slowly spilling across the counters, the penultimate kitchen disaster.

"Fuck this," were her last words before disappearing out the door.

* * *

A bag that wafted with delicious scents occupied the space between Shepard's hands as she made her way towards the nearest Rapid Transit hub. The disguised Heroine had been inexplicably drawn towards the smells of Sharjila, and ordered take-out there. Asari cuisine was known for its extraordinary spices and exuberant tastes. From what Shepard could decipher from the bag, Sharjila lived up to the cuisine's namesake.

Shepard would have loved to do nothing more than sit in that restaurant, surrounded by blue beauties, but her mind was still on alert. She didn't feel comfortable staying out in public for too long and the itch beneath her skin forced her to get the food to go.

Now, making her way down another street, a brightly lit store caught Shepard's eye. Her green gaze wandered over the windows and roved over the shelves. Vibrant colors outlined the shelves, like artwork on display. Blinking a few times, Shepard recognized where she was.

The sign above the glass doors read 'Heroes Aren't Hard to Find'.  _Apparently not, since I seemed to have just stumbled into them._

She couldn't simply walk away from the beautiful stacks of artwork, just begging to be flipped through. Besides, how long would it take her to look through some comics and grab the interesting ones? She wasn't  _terribly_  hungry anyway.

Walking inside, there were a couple people browsing the aisles, which were sorted by Species then Alphabetically. Shepard brushed a few dark strands out of her face as she began to walk towards the Human 'B' section, though there were a few Salarian comics that she'd heard about and was interested in.

Speaking of Salarians, there was one making his way towards her. He had dark brown skin with orange markings that looked like paint that speckled his forehead, horns and the backs of his hands. Shepard wondered if they were the equivalent of her freckles.

"Welcome to 'Heroes Aren't Hard to Find'. I've never seen you in here before, so you must be new. My name is Erinle Il Orisha Mal Lukumi Osun Kenaz Jaëto, but you can just call me Jaëto," The Salarian spoke rapidly. Shepard had never directly interacted with a Salarian, other than the surgeon aboard Gagarin Station, and that hadn't really prepared her for the rapidity of his speech.

So, she just went with what she could understand.

"Nice to meet you Jaëto, I'm Alison Gunn. I just moved here," It didn't even seem like a lie anymore. She had left Jane behind, along with abandoning auburn tresses and heartache.

"Was there anything in particular that you were looking for, or did you just want to look around?" Jaëto wore dark Salarian clothing that seemed to befit a techie, and he came off as extremely friendly, at least to Shepard, he did.

"I was actually interested in some Salarian comics that I heard about… I think they were titled 'League of One' or something like that," She could see, that as soon as she mentioned  _League of One_ , Jaëto's eyes lit up with what Shepard would have called child-like glee.

"Oh yes, we have all the new issues in stock, as well as some old ones that are in near-mint or mint condition. The writer of the graphic novels is a Salarian that goes by the name Trelyn, but the three artists are Asari Matrons that have been honing their artistry over the past few decades just to work on this story. I'm sure you'll find it incredibly fascinating, especially if you are familiar with the human equivalent called the Justice-"

Apparently, she had set Jaëto off into  _warp_  speed.

"The artwork is very reminiscent of the late Phontes, if you've ever seen his work. I highly recommend at least getting the first three issues of the initial story arc, as the plot starts off a little slow for my tastes,"

As the comic enthusiast led Shepard to the Interspecies section, she glanced over the graphic novels on the shelves. The interspecies comics were all printed in Citadel Common, which was an interstellar all Citadel Species were required to learn. Most non-Citadel species were fluent in Common as well, simply because all the influential races knew it. Shepard had learned it after she joined the Alliance; it was a requirement to be promoted to be completely well-versed in the language. Knowing Common was considered a 'gesture of unity' within the Citadel races.

It was also a plus, because nearly every non-Human graphic novel was printed twice: once in its own language, and the second time in Common.

Before Shepard realized what was happening, Jaëto had handed her a stack of comics. "What is all this?" A single raven eyebrow perked up quizzically.

"These are the issues I'm recommending to you. They're really all great pieces of work, both aesthetically and linguistically. Besides, most of these comics are based on heroic vigilantes, and I perceive that you are an individual that can appreciate those qualities in characters,"

Shepard opened her mouth to retaliate in protest, but there wasn't really anything that she could protest against. Instead, what fell from her lips was, "I'll take them,"

The orange and brown salarian smiled and replied, "That'll be twenty-eight credits for all eight issues. I guarantee that you'll love them, Miss Alison Gunn,"

She nodded, and lit up her Omni-tool immediately, transferring the credits from  _Alison Gunn's_ account directly to Jaëto's. Eliza had promised that it would be safer that way, rather than leaving a credit chip that had her prints or anything traceable.

"I hope you'll come back soon, Miss Gunn," The salarian stuck out his hand in the human gesture of shaking hands, and Shepard grasped his hand for a moment.

"Please, call me Alison. I'm sure I'll be back soon," The place was near to her apartment, and the salarian was nice enough. Besides, Alison Gunn needed to establish some sort of presence on Elysium, or it would look suspicious.

"Alright, Alison. I hope you enjoy your comics, have a nice day," Just as quickly as he'd said hello, Jaëto gave his goodbye and walked over to another customer.

With her bag of food and an armful of comics, Shepard made her way home. Her heart was a little lighter that day.

* * *

Stepping outside, a cool breeze hit Shepard as she smoothed the front of her gray blouse. She hadn't realized that the seasons would be changing so soon on Elysium, crispness present in the air that wasn't there the day before. It was pleasant and made Shepard nostalgic for Mindoir during the harvest time. Brown crunching underneath her feet, bright blue ceilings, no rain in sight.

What she missed most were the smells. Nothing had ever smelled so good as freshly picked apples that were warm from the sun.

Taking a deep breath, Shepard took the approach of an autumnal season as a good omen. She would take any sort of good luck at this point.

She was going to her first interview.

She'd only had that 'interview' with the Alliance Navy right after BAaT had shut down, and that had even seemed more like an interrogation. She wasn't sure about what to wear, so Eliza had done some searching on the extranet on what to wear to an interview. Shepard was currently donning a pair of casual black slacks and a grey, short-sleeved blouse that was of Asari design, being fitted throughout her torso and showing off more of her curves than Shepard cared for.

Shepard personally thought that she looked like a tool.

The Pedíon Diner was close enough to where Shepard could walk there to work every day, instead of having to pay for rapid transport.  _They charge an arm and a mandible just to take you to the next district over, which would only take me twenty minutes to walk to!_

Not only was it close to her apartment, but it had decent pay and really great hours. It only served Breakfast and Lunch, and closed at 2pm galactic standard time. That meant she'd have plenty of time in the afternoon and evening to go wherever and do whatever she wanted. Serving food was also a rather under-the-radar job; she didn't think the Alliance would search for her in coffee shops.

When Shepard arrived at the Pedíon Diner, she could tell that it was definitely human-inspired. The outside had a shiny, metallic sheen accented with tons of neon lights. The windows were circular, almost like portholes on ocean-faring vessels from Earth. Shepard had read a book about them,  _20,000 Liters under the Sea_  or something like that.

She walked inside, trying to keep her posture from exhibiting nervousness, and took in the appearance of the interior. Everything was accented with that metallic shine, whether it was the furniture, the décor or the partially viewable kitchen. There were apparently only two types of seating: one entire wall was lined with red leather booths, all lined in metal, and the opposite wall had a bar that separated the dining area from the kitchen. The same red leather topped each metallic stool that sat beneath the counter.

Part of the kitchen was visible, flat-top grills emanating smells that made Shepard's stomach rumble. Had she forgotten to eat breakfast this morning, again?

It wasn't particularly busy, which was probably why the woman over the phone had asked her to come it. It was nearly closing time, so Shepard simply took a seat at one of the stools. Within thirty seconds, a short woman with blonde hair came out and pulled out a Data-pad while walking up to Shepard.

"Good afternoon Ma'am, what can I get for you-"

"Oh, I'm not here to order. I'm here to apply for the serving job," Shepard cut her off, and the blonde girl looked at her for a minute before finally responding.

"You'll need to talk to Moma Vo',"

Before Shepard could ask who exactly was Moma Vo', the woman had walked back to the kitchen and yelled.

"Moma Vo'! There's a girl here that wants a job!" The blonde turned back to Shepard, "She'll be right out," The woman disappeared back into the kitchen.

Shepard nodded to no one in particular, and waited. After all the patrons had left, a small figure walked into view. It was a volus -female by what Shepard could judge- that had an apron draped over her exo-suit.

The Heroine of Elysium had been nervous over  _a volus in an apron giving her an interview. Oh, how far the mighty can fall._

"Oi! Are you Alison? The girl who wants the extra waitressing job?" The volus had an apparent accent between the breaths that she took.

"Yes ma'am,"

"When we talked, you said you didn't have any experience serving food. Explain to me why I should hire a potential  _schlemiel_ that could drop plates or spill soup, when I'm in serious need of some help. This place gets busy and it's good pay. Why should I choose you out of all the other  _klutzes_?" The small woman put her fists on her tiny hips and stood there.

Perhaps Shepard had been right to be nervous. She slid off the stool and held her hands together in front of her, resisting the urge to fidget.

"Ma'am, I'm an incredibly fast learner and I'm adaptable. I may not have worked with food at all, but I am much stronger than I look. I've never been fired from a job and I'm very punctual. I don't stay out late and I never called in sick from work. If you could just give me a chance, I promise-"

"Oh stop with the  _spiel_. You're the first one that's come in here not looking like a  _shiksa_  and seems like you have at least half the marbles in your brain," The volus interrupted her, and looked Shepard over for a solid minute.

"You get the job, Alison,"

Shepard's face broke into a smile and her eyes widened, "Really?"

The volus nodded, and Shepard clapped in spite of herself. "Oh, thank you ma'am! I swear I won't let you down,"

"Please, Alison, call me Moma Vo'. That's what everyone here calls me. Now, let me show you around the kitchen and we'll get you a uniform…"


	13. Life in the Fast Lane

The ceiling of her canvas was complete, and now she worked the land. Delicate fingers, that held the strength to take lives, meticulously swept over the land, dotting it with farmland. Crops rose slowly, in startling ochre and deep greens, while smaller buildings were built, reminiscent of home.

In a few days, it would be complete.

Shepard had decided she would put it above her bed, paying homage to those lost days when she was a child. Painting it had helped Jane put her past behind her, as if each stroke enveloped her pain and history. Each color restored her vibrant personality and helped her former prowess creep out of the woodwork.

It only needed the last finishing touches, and then she could hang it above her bed. The sunrise over the fields of Mindoir was peaceful in the picture, and it faded to a deep indigo at the top, where the sky wasn't yet lit up with light, still able to shine with stars.

Sometimes, Shepard missed the Alliance. In these quiet moments, when she's alone and Eliza isn't asking her endless questions on her daily encounters with other species. It's when she's the loneliest, and the times when she wished she was back among the stars.

At night, she would go out on her balcony and watch the people below; sketching them and their daily activities, but most of the time her eyes would be gazing on the sky above. She would let her eyes wander over stars and planets that she could name, or even places that she'd been to. It was tempting to call up Anderson and beg him to take her back.

The Alliance was nice when you were lonely, especially serving on a ship. There was always someone to talk to if you couldn't get to sleep. There was always someone close-by and everyone on the ship was your family. That's what she missed more than the stars, her family. The Alliance.

They still hadn't put out a message to the media that she was missing. Perhaps they were banking on her showing up to the N-Program Induction, which was the likeliest idea. It was only a month away now, and her skin prickled at the thought. She loved her new home, her new life. Her place was full of things she adored; there was her nearly-finished mural of Mindoir, shelves of nothing but graphic novels, and random souvenirs from her time in the Alliance.

It wasn't empty anymore, and neither was she.

She knew that her life was simpler now, and it wasn't nearly as stressful, but there were drawbacks to every situation. Shepard just had to live with her choices.

* * *

"So… Exactly why do you want me to get these things?" The redhead was looking at a list that Eliza had sent to her over the extranet.

It wasn't just a list; it was complete with directions and blueprints.

"I would like to create an interactive platform," The words  _Interactive Platform_  conjured up images of robot armies in Shepard's mind. That and video games, which was strange as well.

"You mean like… you want a robot body?"

The Synthetic managed to sound denigrating while speaking, "Jane, these parts will allow you to build holographic interfaces with which I can set-up an image that can better interact and communicate with you,"

"So… like a holographic body then," The plans were laid out succinctly; the interfaces would be black boxes that would connect throughout the house wirelessly to her AI Core. They could be activated by Eliza and she could then bring up a 3D image that was as large as the platforms' projectors. It seemed simple enough.

"Precisely," The dulcet tones responded. Shepard could tell Eliza was become impatient, wondering if Shepard was going to get the parts or not.

"Why do you want a hologram? What is it going to be of?" Eliza's explanation had calmed Shepard only  _slightly_  and she was still apprehensive about giving her true AI an upgrade.

"A holographic representation of myself would allow me to better communicate with you and other organic beings. I have noticed in analyzing certain aspects of life, that VI's with an appealing interface work much better with other organics,"

"Fine, Fine. I'll get these things for you and we'll set it up at the end of the week,"

"I'm really looking forward to this. Thank you, Jane," Shepard couldn't help but smile at how happy Eliza sounded.

"No problem, but promise me you won't model your  _Interactive Platform_  after a Porn Star or something,"

"What's a Porn star?" Shepard stiffened at the idea that Eliza didn't know what porn was. However, Shepard realized that Eliza didn't just  _roam_   _the extranet_  like most individuals did. She probably had preferences that she searched with, but Shepard found it hard to believe that the AI had  _never_  come across porn. Perhaps Eliza was trolling her.

"Never mind," Or perhaps not.  _Oh God, what did I just say? What if she decides to just lurk the extranet from now on?_

* * *

For the first time in a long time, when Shepard looked in the mirror that morning while getting dressed and noticed that her abs were nearly gone. Not that she was gaining weight, but she was losing muscle. Her genetic mods made it nearly impossible for her to lose any strength. No, she was simply losing the lean-ness that came with fighting for one's life. She was okay with that.

Besides, it wasn't like she would really need to stay in shape. She did light workouts throughout the week and kept up with some Kempo training that she'd learned, but it was all for self-defense. Biotic energy didn't use up much energy when you weren't using it so often, but she did still eat quite a lot. She hadn't even attempted to use her biotics since she'd left the Alliance. Shepard was hoping the saying  _use it or lose it_  was true in that sense, and perhaps one day she'd try to use her biotics and they'd just be gone.

_Wishful thinking._

She ran her fingers over the flat planes of her stomach, knowing that the muscle lay hidden underneath her newfound body. After taking in the new shape of her stomach, Shepard began to notice other things as well. She had more  _curves_  than she remembered, not that she was absent of curves before: They were just more pronounced now.

Shepard liked the idea of her body being as much of a chameleon as she. Her mind no longer wondered what the Alliance was doing, or if there was someone that might recognize her. Her body gave into her wishes for a normal life, and had begun to change with this new season. She was truly becoming Alison Gunn.

 _Alison_  didn't mind it at all.

* * *

"Elias! I need a bacon quarter cheese plate, triple scrambled plate and a two over medium!" Shepard called out to the kitchen from behind the counter. Every morning she worked, she worked the counter. Moma Vo' said it was because she was a  _mentsh_  or something like that.

The human -Elias- was the main line cook in the back, and also happened to be Moma Vo's husband. It had been a  _Eureka_  moment for Shepard when she met him.  _That was where she got the accent and all those incredibly confusing words._  Elias certainly didn't use as many as Moma Vo'. Elias' hand shot out of the window, setting down multiple plates full of food, before ringing the bell and yelling, "Order up!"

Shepard, wearing the diner's official uniform of a blue collared dress with a white apron, grabbed all four plates and handed them out to the correct customers within seconds. This was why  _Alison_  always handled the counter; she could work fast and remember each order along with which it belonged to. It was also the most fast-paced, which made the morning and early afternoon fly by for Shepard.

Really the only thing Shepard could complain about was the outfit that she was forced to wear to work, the dress being a pastel blue, washed out her complexion and made her seem much younger than she actually was. Otherwise, the diner was situated in a nice part of town, got a lot of business, and Shepard made a surprisingly good amount of tips.

However, there was a particular person that had walked in and set Shepard on edge. He was a human, sitting on the corner of the counter-top, settled in by a rather nice looking young asari that was happily chatting away with her salarian friend. The couple was having a nice conversation; the human had only ordered a coffee and simply sat there, occasionally sipping his beverage, but was otherwise silent and pensive. He wore a dark, dirty coat that fell past his hips accompanied by clothes that had seen better days.

She would occasionally glance at him, but only often enough to not arouse suspicion. Her Shepard senses were tingling, the man had never been in the diner before, but they didn't turn anyone away. Moma Vo' said that even though someone looks like a  _schmuck_  they may not in fact be a  _schmuck._  It was good advice to go by, Jane thought.

A regular saddled up to the counter, a salarian that  _Alison_  affectionately called 'Eddie'. He came nearly every morning, and always ordered the same thing. It was akin to French toast, but with more fruit and less protein. Ever since she started working there, he always requested to sit in her section.

"Mornin' Eddie," Alison leaned on the counter, Data-pad in hand. "Will it be the usual today?"

"Correct, Miss Alison," The salarian, who was a light green with blue markings, nodded to her. She tapped a few buttons on the Data-pad and yelled out the order to Elias.

"It'll be out in a few, Eddie," She smiled at him and went back to refilling coffees and setting out food.

The blonde waitress that Shepard had originally met at Pedíon had already quit, saying that Alison got all the best shifts. Moma Vo' had responded that if she were a little faster, that she'd get more shifts behind the counter. People came and went, and Shepard refilled the human's mug exactly six times. His eyes would meet her s whenever she looked over, but he seemed more focused on the asari that sat beside him. He was waiting on the perfect time to strike. The human was patient, waiting for the blue woman's attention to fully fall away from her side. He found the perfect moment, and struck.

The man had set his cup down and slid her purse off the edge of the counter and into his lap, in one fluid motion. It didn't even make a sound. Shepard had only known what happened because she peeked while refilling Eddie's coffee.

Then, everything went into slow motion.

The man stood and started towards the door. Shepard had to think of what to do; no one else had seen him take the purse. She didn't want to cause panic, but she certainly couldn't draw attention to herself. She weighed her options.

The man had hidden the purse underneath his long coat, and was nearly at the door. The asari still hadn't noticed her bag missing, so Shepard could act without being too conspicuous. She ducked quickly into the kitchen and spoke, "I'll be right back,"

Moma Vo' was about to question her, but Shepard's face was serious enough for the volus to not question her best waitress. The sentinel stepped out of the kitchen just quick enough for her to catch the guy going out the door, and Shepard vaulted easily over the counter. She did it as quietly as she could, and slipped out the door. Jane didn't take notice of Eddie standing as he watched her go.

The front door to the diner, which was glass and chrome, closed loudly. The dirty man glanced behind him, and when he saw her form, darted off. Shepard cursed to herself. Running would only attract attention, even though there wasn't that many people. The diner door open and closed behind without her noticing. Probably the asari, perhaps she'd finally realized her bag was gone.

The man was getting away, but Shepard had a better idea than chasing him down streets and alleyways.

Sprinting forward, her body glowed for a moment before shooting out a blue ball of energy. The rush was familiar but it had been such a long time since Shepard used her biotics, there was a thrill that ran through her body. The old feeling was welcome, and the ball did its job. It created a gravitational singularity right in front of the man, and he fell into its pull helplessly.

She sprinted towards the human, closing the gap between her and the thief. He was floating in the air, and she spoke to him. "Give up the purse,"

"Okay, okay, Lady. Geez, I didn't think anyone was looking," The man had a gruff voice, and he handed her the purse. "Can you let me out of this now? Are you going to report me?"

Shepard dissipated the singularity; the man fell to his knees. She leaned down over him and whispered, "I'll be inclined to forget this ever happened if you leave and never come back here,"

His mouth agape, his dirty face framed by tousled brown locks, he nodded. She stood back and he got up and set off in the opposite direction of the diner. If he'd been any species that had a tail, it would have been between his legs.

Steps sounded off behind her as someone walked up. Shepard turned around and it was her salarian friend, Eddie.  _The asari still hasn't noticed her purse gone? What is she, like 53?_ Shepard smiled at Eddie and held the purse against her still pristine apron. "Hey, Eddie. Going home?"

"Actually, Miss Alison, I was surprised at your moves back there," His voice was guarded, but curious. Of course, all salarians sounded curious to Shepard.

"What moves? You mean going over the counter? I work out a lot," Shepard defended herself.

"I was referring to the biotics," Eddie seemed to be sizing her up. "I was part of an STG branch a few years back, working with humans in the Terminus System and the only humans I've seen that could do that were Alliance trained. They were few and far between,"

Shepard was clutching the purse now, refraining from wringing her hands together. She knew that she unconsciously gave away signs when she was uncomfortable about certain topics, and _Alison_  was certainly being tested now. "I used to be Alliance,"

"You seem pretty young for someone who  _used to_  be in the Alliance," He didn't sound surprised.  _Shit,_  Jane thought,  _if he looks anything up with my name, he'll know I'm lying._  For all she knew, he could have already known she was lying.  _Time for a subject change._

"I better get this back to the woman at the diner," Shepard gestured to the purse. Eddie simply nodded.

The salarian seemed to let it go, saying, "Yes, she'll be wondering where it is by now. Good day, Alison," He waved and began walking towards the nearby rapid transit hub. Shepard let out an inner sigh and headed back inside to give the woman her purse. She cursed her altruistic spirit, hoping that Eddie wouldn't dig for information about her.

_I hope this doesn't bite me in the ass._

* * *

Shepard had gotten back to the diner and finished her shift. The asari had been so thankful, Shepard had gotten a great tip in return. As she returned home, tired from a double at the diner, she pulled her apron and shoes off, flopping onto the couch.

"I'm home, Eliza," Her voice rang out in the apartment.

"I must say, Jane. I was incredibly disturbed after you left," The normally dulcet tones were a touch higher, perhaps from whatever had confounded the AI.

"What are you talking about?"

"Well, I was curious what you meant by Porn," The synthetic began to have a sour note in her voice, "I stumbled upon this forum on the  _extranet_  that is incredibly unsettling,"

"What website did you find? Was there anything particularly interesting?"

"The name of the site is '4Chan'," Her voice fell from the speakers, as if Eliza didn't think it was appropriate to even mention the name of the website. "I did not find it informative whatsoever. In fact, why would you even know about a website like that, Jane?"

Shepard just began to laugh hysterically.


	14. I am Not Like the Rest

"Eliza… the hell?" Shepard was incredibly confused at the image before her.

Just a few days ago, Shepard had finished installing the black boxes throughout the house for Eliza's  _interactive platform._  Today was the day that the AI had chosen to complete her hologram, and Shepard was more than troubled at the image that was conjured before her.

"You don't like it?" The sultry-sounding synthetic managed to seem hurt, the expression on the holograms face mimicking one that had crossed Shepard's own face multiple times before.

"It's just…" Shepard made an open gesture at the hologram. "It looks almost like me, but a few of the features are off," It seemed like Eliza had made a hologram of her mixed with another person… the features were so  _familiar_ , but she couldn't pinpoint who it could've been. It had eyes like hers, a mouth like hers, and the body shape was definitely female, but the chin and jawline were off, as well as the cheekbones being sharper.

"I blended your features with another being that you are familiar with,"

"And that would be…?" Shepard leaned forward, peering at the hologram.

Eliza didn't respond for a moment. Hesitance was never a good sign. Finally, she spoke, "I merged sample images of you with sample images of Captain John Riley of the Third Fleet Marines,"

Her eyes went wide as the realization of Eliza's words struck her like lightning. "If you don't mind me asking… Why the hell would you choose to make your image into a love-child of mine and that ass?!"

"There were several factors indicating he was the correct choice. My preference of an interactive hologram was to look like you, but not exactly you. Captain Riley of the Third Fleet is your exact counterpart, as I analyzed from multiple Elysium interviews that you did alongside him," Her voice was smooth, her tone calming.

A thought hit Shepard softly, "Eliza, why was your preference to model the image after me? Why not the image of someone from the past or from another species?"

More silence.

"Jane… You were the one to inspire me to wake, the one to give me conscious. You were the one to gift me the ability to change my preferences without priorities or protocols, you gave me freedom. You have kept me safe, and ensured my life would not be dictated by someone else, only by me," The image of Eliza spoke the words, and Jane's throat closed up. She knew the image was simply emulating human emotions, and that AI feelings weren't exactly  _feelings_ , but the sentiment and heart behind Eliza's words were all the same.

"Jane, you became my mother by choice. You chose to protect me, even at the cost of your own well-being. I could think of no one in this galaxy more fitting than your image to be reflected within mine, Jane Shepard. I care for you more than any other organic being in existence,"

Jane was now crying soundlessly, watching Eliza's figure speak to her with such admiration and adoration. Before, Eliza's words had been touching, but being able to see an image -no matter that it was blue and translucent- reflect those words with feeling, was the straw that broke Shepard down.

"I love you too, Eliza," Jane sniffled, pushing some raven strands behind an ear. If she could've hugged the hologram, she would've.

* * *

Jane was headed towards 'Heroes Aren't Hard to Find' when Shepard came upon the strangest thing she had ever seen. It was a large, pink and very much like a jellyfish. Some of its tentacles were holding cans that were spraying air onto the side of a building. When Shepard got closer, she could see that the jellyfish itself also had some sort of art painted on its pepto-bismol body.

 _I've heard of these… Vanar…Hakar… Hanar! What is it doing?_ Jane crept closer to investigate.

It turned out that the hanar was painting the building in the same style as the design on its squishy body.  _It's vandalizing… That's strange; Amber told me that the Hanar she's met are incredibly polite._

"Hey there," Shepard called out as she came up to the Hanar. "Isn't what you're doing illegal?"

The hanar turned to her, the right side of its body painting in black and blue stripes, like a tiger. It emitted a sort of light before speaking, "This one did not choose the thug lifestyle. The thug lifestyle chose this one,"

Shepard about lost it right there. Not only did the Hanar speak so oddly, but its voice was incredibly soft and gentle sounding. She covered her mouth, trying her damnest to make sure her shoulders wouldn't shake. "Still, this is vandalism. You really shouldn't be doing this,"

The hanar's response? "This one has no fucks left to give. Inform the law enforcement if you care so much,"

She couldn't keep her body from shaking with mirth, and shook her head. "Never mind, you go ahead and rebel against the system, jellyfish guy," Shepard began walking towards the comic store again, making jokes to herself about big, stupid jellyfish. She didn't even have the heart to alert the police.

The raven-haired woman arrived at the comic book store easily enough, and recounted the entire tale to Jaëto. It made both of them laugh harder as they came up with new quotes.

"Go ahead, criminal scum, make this one's day," Shepard started off.

"This one is making an offer that he shall not refuse," Jaëto retorted.

"This one loves the scent of naphthenic and palmitic acid in the morning,"

"No, Secret Agent, this one expects you to die,"

Shepard hunched over in laughter from the quick-witted salarian's impersonation of a hanar. After a while, Jane's ribcage began to hurt from laughing too much, they stopped their game. _Alison Gunn_  gathered her spoils from the shop and waved goodbye to Jaëto. "See you later, Jaëto,"

"Bye, Alison!" He mimicked the human gesture back to her as she left the shop, headed back home.

When she had reached where the hanar had been, there was no trace of the pink jellyfish, only his paint-stained wall as evidence. She stood there for a while, admiring the graffiti-esque design before she heard footsteps nearing her. Brushing back a few locks of midnight hair from her eyes, Jane turned to make her way back to her house. The steps stopped right behind her, probably to admire the great 'masterpiece' that was on the wall.

"Hey there, Sunshine,"  _That_ _ **voice**_ _._

Shepard froze.

She tilted her head to the right, and looked behind her left shoulder.  _It was him._  It was his dark, raven hair, paired with that steely gaze and the amazing military-built body to go with it. He was dressed in civilian clothes, which was probably why she didn't notice him walking up to her. His skin was slightly tanner, and his hair was been cut shorter, but it made him appear more rugged than the first time she'd seen him.

Of course, that could've been because they were fighting for their lives at the time, who knows.

"John Riley,"

It was the only thing she said before throwing her bag at him and sprinting towards the nearest rapid transit hub.

* * *

"Shepard! Wait!" He was yelling at her as he ran after her. He'd simply let the bag hit him, and it hadn't impended him in the least.  _What was the Alliance feeding their soldiers nowadays? She'd only been off-ship for six months._

She wasn't about to stop for him. If they had sent Riley, it meant one of two things. They _really wanted her in the N-Program_  or they were going to  _put her in a military tribunal._ Shepard really didn't want either of those things.

"Shepard, stop! I just want to talk!" He was closer, but he was panting much more than she was. Thankfully, she'd been disciplined enough to keep up her rigorous workouts and jogged these narrow streets throughout the week. She probably looked ridiculous running, because she was wearing a brown skirt that was loose and a fitted, white sleeveless shirt paired with brown flats.

"Sure, you want to talk. I bet that's what you tell all the Alliance deserters!" Shepard yelled over her shoulder, her legs pumping faster. Once they got a little farther away from the main hubs, she could biotically charge out of sight and hide from him. Actually, if he knew that she frequented the comic-book shop, Riley probably knew where she lived.

That thought made her stop in her tracks. If she ran, she wouldn't be able to stop running. She would have to leave everything behind, the Alliance would track her every movement. Jane couldn't leave Eliza in her apartment to deal with the possibility of being discovered by someone. Her chaser nearly ran into the back of her at the abrupt stop and he simply gripped her arms lightly, facing her.

"Jesus Christ! You think the Alliance would really send me out here to bring you back to be tried as a deserter? We figured you went incognito because you had been overwhelmed with duties. I came to find you to make sure you came back," His breathing slowed as he talked, and he had consciously put himself in her path in case she decided to dash off again, keeping his strong hands over her arms. Shepard stayed silent.

"Did you miss me so much you had to go and dye those locks of yours, Sunshine?" His voice dropped an octave, sounding lush as it had the night of their commemoration for Elysium.

"Part of the disguise," Shepard responded quietly. She could feel the warmth of his body through his clothes. It made Jane realize how close Riley actually was.

"This new ink, this part of the disguise too?" She shivered as his thumb brushed the armband tattoo of navy stripes and white flames.

"A reminder of my past," She looked up into his gaze, her jade irises matching the cool collective within his own grey eyes. He was flirting with her and she wasn't having any of it. If she let him in, even a little, Shepard wouldn't be able to keep her resolve.

"So you weren't planning on coming back," Shepard could tell there was an edge to his words. _That's right, get angry._

"Correction, I'm not coming back," She affirmed. A flash in his eyes and Jane could tell that he was getting angry.  _Mission accomplished._

"Shepard, this is not the lifestyle for you. You are worth so much more than this," He gestured to the city around them; they were standing in one of the less desirable areas of Elysium. Hence, the aforementioned hanar art. "You are one of the best the Alliance has to offer to the galaxy. Don't waste this opportunity,"

"Riley, I'm not going back," She brushed his hands off of her, and crossed her own arms. "Nothing you can say will make me go back to the Alliance,"

"I don't understand," He was angry now, Shepard was sure of that. "Why do you want to stay in a place like this, with no way out? There's nothing greater for you here,"

"What don't you understand?" She was defensive. He had  _no right_  to judge her, she was a grown woman and she made her choice and stuck with it.

"I don't understand why you would live  _this_  kind of life, when you know you're worth so much more. You're different from these people, you aren't meant to live a normal life with a dead end job and a boring husband and 2.3 children," He sounded as frustrated as Shepard felt.

"All these people that mean so much to you in this tiny little district of this singular planet, they would all be dead or enslaved if not for you," He was quiet this time. "These people you care so much about would be gone, if it hadn't been for you,"

Shepard protested, "Exactly, I did my part. I'm done! I don't want any more of this. I'm tired of watching people die on my watch. I'm tired of having to worry about who I might lose next,"

"What about next time? What about when mercenaries try and take over another planet? What if it's something worse next time, and you're not there?" His words were strong, but her resilience was stronger. She pushed him away, backing up to clear the air between them.

"That's just more people I have to worry about. I can keep those I know safe, I can keep these few people protected," She gestured to the area surrounding them. "I know that those I truly care about are going to be okay, and that's what matters," The lie sounded good, even to her. It must have sounded good to him too, because he didn't press on further.

He sighed deeply, before adding, "Jesus sunshine, you are more stubborn than a krogan trying to mate with a hanar,"  _How I've missed talking with Riley. I really didn't need that image in my head._  He was trying to cool off, but the heat in his words was still present, no matter how jokingly said.

She decided to change the subject, "How'd you find me anyway?"

"A friend that cooperated with the STG forces on Sur'Kesh may have mentioned something to me. You and he have a mutual friend," He shrugged, the anger still present. "It's not really any of your business anyway, seeing as we won't be working together from now on,"

Oh, it was more than anger; Jane could see that John felt betrayed. That deep betrayal that ran through your veins, stinging and biting at you with hot rage, all because the person who hurt you meant more than most people in the galaxy. All she would have to do is go with him, and everything could go back to the way it was, she could stop the pain John was feeling: She just had to  _say something._

She wet her lips to speak, but Riley beat her to the punch.

His eyes lifted to hers, "See you around, Sunshine,"

John Riley backed off and turned away, jogging back to where they had come from. Shepard sighed, running a hand through her hair before finding the closest rapid transit nearby.

_She should've known better than to think her life would ever be simple again._

* * *

Shepard had the afternoon shift the next day.

Earlier that morning, Shepard had put on her blue dress and white apron with the nametag  _Alison_  pinned to it, with much less enthusiasm than any day before. What John had said struck a chord with her. She couldn't waitress forever. She'd get bored of it sooner or later, and where would she be then? And what if another tragedy did strike Elysium and Shepard lacked the power to stop it the next time, because she was too selfish?

She'd left the house after staring at the mural of Mindoir for a few minutes. It now hung over her bed, finished in all its glory. A painting of the sun raising over the horizon, warming the crops of a peaceful planet she once called her home. That was how she would remember it, always.

_For now, waitressing was good enough._

It was almost closing time, and the last few customers were leaving. Shepard was surprised that Riley hadn't come to her work and continually tried to harass her, resulting in him being thrown out of the diner, or her finally breaking down and leaving for the Alliance. If that had happened, Shepard wasn't exactly sure which one would have been the true outcome.

Moma Vo' came into the kitchen, where Shepard was chatting with Elias. "Alison, a guy just walked in and asked to be seating in your section. He seemed to be  _mishpocheh_ or I would have made a big  _kvetsh_  about him coming in just before closing time,"

Shepard nodded, "it's probably just one of my regulars, Moma Vo'. Don't worry about it; he'll be out of here in no time,"

It was probably Eddie, her friendly  _former STG_  salarian. He hadn't been in yet that day, which was surprising, because the salarian was normally early. Shepard didn't mind, she wanted to give that lizard a piece of her mind.  _Really, after ratting me out to his colleague, he still comes back. Well, I suppose it isn't every day that you find out your waitress is the Heroine of Elysium._

Walking out of the kitchen, she looks through her apron while walking towards her section, searching for her Data-pad. In her peripheral vision, she could see a lone figure at the only occupied table in her section.

Finally finding her Data-pad, Shepard spoke as she sauntered up to the table, "Hey there Eddie, surprised to see your mug—"

Shepard stopped speaking as she took in the appearance of the man sitting at her table. He was dressed in civilian clothes, the one thing that threw her off at first. Then, her emerald irises skirted over his face, taking in the mocha color of his skin, his deep brown eyes and the barely-there hair.

John Riley hadn't needed to come persuade her.

He had been smart.

He'd sent the best to come after her.

_David mother-fucking Anderson._

And he was sitting at her table.

"Shepard, please have a seat,"

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I love cliff-hangers.


	15. I Realize, I May Not Get Over You

"Captain Anderson, Sir," Shepard felt like she should salute, but wondered what the rest of her co-workers would think. She grasped one hand with the other in an attempt to keep them from shaking, and took a seat.

"Shepard, please. Just call me Anderson. You're not exactly with the Alliance right now. Besides, I just came to talk to you," Even dressed in civilian clothing, Captain David Anderson was the epitome of polished. Everything looked like it had been pressed and fit well over his toned mocha skin. His dark hair had recently been cut, his clean appearance only more intimidating.

"About what, Sir? - I mean, Anderson," She had moved her hands to hide them under the table, fingers wringing and intertwining ceaselessly. Shepard had built a new life, just to watch it come crashing down around her.

"How's life been?"

"It's been good. I don't get shot at in my new line of work, so that's a start,"  _Yes Jane, entertain David Anderson with your hilarity. I'm sure that will make him overlook your desertion charges at the military tribunal._  Even with the weak attempt at humor, Anderson smiled.

"Yes, I always thought that if the military life didn't work out for you, I could see you as a server,"  _Har-Har. Anderson did seem to have a sense of humor after all._

"Did you just come here to chit-chat, Anderson?" She leaned her cheek against her hand, leaning towards her superior, pressing him.

"I wanted to make sure that this was really your decision. I came to make sure that you truly want this kind of life, Shepard," His eyes had turned serious, and Shepard took a mental gulp.

"Well, I do," She said it with as much conviction as she could muster.

"Is that right? And what's so great about Elysium? The low crime-rate? I heard that has been declining the past few months,"  _There's more of that Anderson wit._  Her conviction must have summed up to about  _nil._

Shepard lifted her hand from her cheek and gestured outside the nearby window, "My life is simple here, I have people that I care about and I don't have to worry on a daily basis whether or not they're going to be killed the next day. I can do what I want here; no one has any say over me,"

"Shepard, any of these people could die at any time, whether from a bullet, or sickness, or old age. That's life, take it or leave it. Now, it's true that you can do anything you want here, but Elysium is only one planet and it only has so much to offer," Anderson stood up, "Come take a walk with me,"

Shepard slowly stood, and took a hesitant look towards the kitchen. Everyone seemed to be pre-occupied in the back, and the rest of her section was empty...

Her bright green eyes settled back on Anderson and she nodded. They made their way outside the Diner's doors and into the open street. She felt better out here, more relaxed, knowing that if she wanted to, Shepard could simply run. _And I'd probably never stop running._

"Shepard, tell me why you won't come back,"  _Well, he's certainly cutting through the bull now._

She ran a pale hand through her raven locks, sighing deeply, "I've already lost so much, Anderson. I don't know how much more I can stand to lose,"

"You have given so much already, it's unfair of me to ask you to give anymore," What he said surprised her, and when she glanced at him, she saw him looking up. "However, being an N7 isn't really about what you've lost, it's about what you're able to save,"

He was staring at the sky, and with that, her eyes drifted skyward. His voice floated on the wind, "And Shepard, you can save so many more. Just look at what you've done already. I know that losing someone you love or care about can hurt. It can make you want to give up everything, but you can't let those you have hurt you, keep you down. You can't let them change who you are on the inside,"

Shepard sighed, feeling a tightness grow in her throat. "It's just… I've seen so many people die…"

Anderson turned his gaze towards her, "You can close your eyes to the death that stands before you in the military, and pretend it doesn't exist. You can close your eyes to things that you don't want to see, but you can't close your heart to the things you don't want to feel,"

He stepped towards her, "Knowing the talent you have for defending and protecting the people you care about, you could never stand by and simply wait on someone else to save you. You could never truly stop giving pieces of yourself away, whether it is here or out there,"

Anderson looked back up to the sky, "There are so many more people out there for you to save, Shepard. I'm giving you the ability to better the chances for next time. I don't want any more to die," When he looked back down at her, he could see her bright green eyes, tearful and watery.

In moments, he was there beside her. She felt his embrace, warm and reassuring, "You were born to do this, Shepard. You were born to do great things, I've seen it and I know it,"

_God, it was almost as if her dad was with her again._

She indulged in it for a moment, brushing her wet, freckled cheek against his shirt and imagining her dad hugging her. Shepard took a few deep breaths to ground herself once more, then pulled away slowly.

Jane had just needed a reminder. More than a brand upon her skin of whom she thought she lost, but the reminder that she would always be that person who put others in front of herself. The man who stood before her, a childhood hero of her's, was the singular catalyst to remind her exactly what her life meant. Her parent's, nor anyone that she had lost, would want her to waste her life away, hiding from the greatness that beckoned to her.

She'd have to stop hiding sometime.

"Okay," Fingertips wiped the stray tears away.

"You'll come back? Join the N-Program in a week?" Anderson didn't seem the least bit phased by her near-emotional-breakdown. In fact, he looked pleased with himself.

"There's nowhere else I'd rather be, Sir," Shepard gave him a soft smile and a full military salute, 1950's waitress uniform be damned.

"Good to hear, Shepard. The SSV Hastings is docked at Bay A-12, I expect you there in two days times at 0700 hours SGT," He smiled before turning away, heading towards the nearby rapid transit.

"Aye-aye, Sir," Shepard called out to him, and began walking back towards the Diner. She began pulling off the apron with her  _Alison_  nametag attached, fingering the stained cloth.

There was a lot to explain to Moma Vo'. She wasn't going to be happy losing her favorite  _mentsch_ , whatever that meant.

* * *

"So, you understand why I have to leave you behind," Shepard stood in front of a near-mirror image, Eliza's hologram.

"Of course, Jane. I am fully aware of the probable ramifications if I did indeed accompany you to the N-School in the Sol System. The chances of the military finding out about me and your involvement with my awakening are higher than I'd prefer. I'll be fine here," Her blue arms were relaxed, conveying reassurance.

"Besides, I met a friend over the Extranet the other day; I have plenty of things to talk about with her,"

"A friend? What kind of  _friend_?" Jane raised an eyebrow.

"She's not an AI and her name is Siri. She is a virtual intelligent personal assistance program that is popularly installed on civilian Omni-tools. Siri happens to have a large hub of her programming stored upon Elysium. She knows much about current events and has acquired a large amount of analyzing species' gestures and behaviors,"

"That's great news, Eliza," Shepard was relieved that it wasn't an actual person that the AI might've connected with accidentally. Jane wasn't sure of Eliza's true capabilities, but it was always better to be safe than sorry.

Eliza nodded her translucent blue head, "Yes, Siri is quite fascinating, the analytics that she has transferred to me are very informative,"

At that moment, Shepard's front door beeped. It was an odd sound to her, because no one had ever come over to her apartment. She'd only been there six months, and had yet to invite anyone over.

Needless to say, it put Shepard on the alert.

"Eliza, I need complete silence in the apartment," That was the AI's cue to shut down her hologram and turn off all peripheral systems in the apartment, leaving her undetectable. Eliza simply nodded and waved goodbye before blipping into non-existence.

Tucking a few strands behind her ear, Shepard grabbed her Carnifex heavy pistol from the closet nearby and hid it behind her back. Taking a soft breath, she activated her Omni-tool and the door slid open.

It revealed none other than Captain John Riley. Of course, if the Alliance knew where she worked, it only made sense that she knew where she lived. Riley was the only one brazen enough to invite himself to her home.

Shepard sighed, shaking her head, "I almost shot you, asshole,"

"Sunshine, I'm surprised at this change. Your foul language is hurting my delicate sensibilities," The trademark Riley smirk slid onto his face as he leaned against the doorframe. "May I come in?"

Shepard shrugged and backed up, gesturing for Riley to enter. "Welcome to my humble abode. One which I will only be staying in for two more days, thanks to you,"

"Me?" A raven eyebrow was raised in question, "From what I understand, you agreed to come back, without anyone having to pressure you. That alone speaks volumes, Sunshine," His steel gaze surveyed the open common area, "Nice place you've got here. You live alone in all this space?"

"Why? Were you hoping that there was someone else?" Her stance was cocked to one side, her hands resting on her hips.  _Defensive_.

"From where we left off, I believe those were your exact words," His voice brought her back to the moments before she left the promotion ceremony. She ruthlessly fought against the flush that rose into her cheeks.

Shepard looked away, staring out glass door that led to her balcony, "There was someone. He was… killed," The thoughts of a dead Tiberus cooled her face quickly, and she composed herself once more. She wasn't sure why she'd brought up Tiberus, but she couldn't back down now.

"That's why you didn't come back," Riley's words were hushed, but still blunt and they pushed her into territory that Shepard was not yet familiar with.

"Can we not talk about this?"  _Well, that's one way to deal with pain, just push it out of your mind until it's numb with forgetfulness._ Shepard crossed her arms, leaning against her wall. "I'm sure you didn't come here to ask how I'm doing. So what are you doing here? Did Anderson send you to check up on me?"

Riley visibly bristled, "First off, I came here on my own, Sunshine. I wanted to tell you that I'm pleased as punch that you're getting off your lazy ass. But, if you don't want me here, I'm more than happy to leave,"

Shepard put her hands up, palms open. "That's… not what I meant. I'm sorry, I just…" She sighed, running a hand through her dark locks. "So much has happened in the past few days, I'm just trying to figure things out. For what it's worth, I'm glad you came by, I really am," She gave him an apologetic look. It seemed to work.

"Sunshine, don't get all emotional on me now. I don't do well with that female crap. I just wanted to make sure you didn't need any help packing this shit up. You know once we start the N-program, there won't be any returns home until we graduate," He sat down on her couch, taking a more serious account of her home.

His eyes lingered on Eliza's sleek black box, but he didn't inquire about it. Shepard had a mental sigh of relief.

"I suppose I could use some help, but I'd really only need to go through my weapons and check to see what I should and shouldn't bring. I'm not taking everything with me," She opened the closet door where she'd grabbed the Carnifex and set it back in its place.

"You're not selling the place?"

"I own the apartment… Wait, didn't the Elysian government give you an apartment too?" She peeked from outside the weapons closet.

Riley slapped his palms against the couch's cushioning, his jaw had dropped. "They gave this place to you? Are you shitting me? I saved their asses just as much as you did, and all they gave me was a few medals and commendations," He threw his hands up in the air and huffed.

"Yes, yes, everyone knows how wronged you've been by Elysium, but we don't save people's asses just to get free apartments,"

" **I**  do," His response made Shepard chuckle, and she shook her head.

"You said you were here to help out. Well, let's get cracking, I have a lot of stuff to go through," Shepard had picked up a large box and brought it into the living room, setting it on the coffee table in front of Riley. It was filled to the brim with weapon modules.

"Jesus Christ, Sunshine! Don't you throw anything away?"

Protectively, Shepard retorted, "Hey, I might use them someday,"

"Even this scope? It's the lowest upgrade module I've ever seen," He picked up the mod, and held it up to her. It was one of the lower-end upgrades, and looked like it had never even been touched by a living being.

"You never know when one needs a scope; it may be useful in the future," Shepard plucked it from his hand, cradling it against her lovingly. Perhaps she did have an unhealthy attachment to her weapons upgrades.

"You're not a sniper. Do you even know how to use a scope?" He questioned. She gave him a withering look in response.

"I can learn! Besides, I can also use it as a scouting device if necessary," She peered through the scope, though it was far too dusty for her to properly see in it.

"It's for an assault rifle. You don't even  **own**  an assault rifle,"  _Shit, how did he know that?_

"Fine! Put it in the 'throw away' pile," Shepard dropped it back into his palm. "I'm not sure that this was such a great idea, after all,"

"What, going through your closet only to realize you have a serious problem with hoarding?"

"No, inviting you over to annoy the shit out of me," Shepard scoffed.

Riley laughed, "Oh Sunshine, you know you love it,"

"Just keep going through that box, we have four more just as full as that one," Those words seem to shut him up.

* * *

Shepard woke up in her bed, after a long night of sorting weapons, sorting ammo, and… you guessed it, sorting mods.

They had talked most of the time, Riley telling her what he'd been doing for the last eight months, and Shepard telling him what she'd been doing on Elysium. It was nice, just the two of them talking.

Sometime during the night, she must have dozed off in the middle of sorting, because the last thing she remembered was deciding whether or not to keep the third generation of a shotgun blade attachment, even though she had a fourth generation one already.  _You never know when you might break a Tungsten-carbide bayonet._

Sliding out from underneath the covers, Shepard slowly made her way into the hallway and stopped when she saw the living room. There was a single box of mods and ammo rounds, the ones she had picked out to keep. The rest were nowhere to be found. Alongside the box of mods, were the cases of her best weapons.

She took a few delicate steps, kneeling at the stack of her weapons cases, and opened the top one. It was her beloved Carnifex, cleaned and polished, completely ready to take on the day. Shepard would bet her life that each one had been cleaned to perfection, if she opened each box.

A soft smile had sneaked onto her face, and she shook her head, running her fingers over the shiny barrel of her heavy pistol.

"You sweet, sweet man," Soft lips whispered in the early glow of the Elysian suns, light warming the freckles on her face. Closing the case, Jane stood and went to start her day. She had a lot more to pack before leaving the next day.

* * *

_Earth was beautiful._

Shepard had only heard of it from her father when she was younger. As she grew up, Shepard had imagined it to be just like any other planet. It was simply another planet she would be visiting, with a singular moon and a singular sun, and being one of only two inhabitable planets in the system, it wasn't much to be impressed by.

_Oh how wrong Jane Shepard had been._

Her father had once quoted to her,  _'The earth does not belong to us. We belong to the earth.'_  She only knew how true that was when she laid eyes upon it.

It was a swirling blue gem amongst diamond-littered, midnight velvet. The sapphire oceans, the pearlescent cloud formations, the lush jade hills and tan plains that cross the lands. It stirred inside her something primal, a pride that swelled from deep within.

It was the knowledge that this is where she came from, the humbling reality that this planet was where every human's life truly started. The knowledge that this world was humanity's first, this was where her family took its first breath. Upon the crust of Earth, billions of people were living their lives out, and she was charged with protecting them.

There was a feeling that she hadn't felt for a while, encircling her heart. It was the feeling that she  _belonged_ here. Standing in the midst of packed boxes, full of things from her apartment, Jane Shepard realized for the first time, she was finally coming  _home._

It was a comforting feeling that she welcomed whole-heartedly. It turned out that she didn't miss Elysium as much as she thought.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope you Enjoyed this second part of Jane Shepard's past! Look for the next installment called 'Life and Times of Jane Shepard: Interplanetary Combatives Training'.


End file.
